Friday, June 27, 2008

World of Erifiacraft (Erifia)

This is a cake walk… Without a doubt, the easiest challenge ever. I have to do what I moonlight for as my cover for the Temple. I have to entertain… I am a dancer, that’s absolutely what I am best with. I am poetry in motion and I can hypnotize any men I’d like with my lekkus…

But I’ve used all my dances up… Not that there is a limit, its just that’s watching the same thing over and over again. That’s tired, that’s old…

What if I did stand up comedy?

I might insult the professor who can’t sit down.

What if I killed sith from a remote location?

I might upset that stupid ugly Nepharia, and last time I did something like that she sicked a womp-rat on me.

What if I juggled kryptonite?

I might get kryptonite poisoning like Luther, and upset the kin of Superman.

So… What should I do? I don’t have anymore dances… I can’t do any of my other things that I could do…

I sighed, and went to the docking bay of the big living ship thing… Whatever it was called, like it’s important… Levitation… Lesmagorian… Liverpuller… Who knows? My ship was there and I got on it… Becca the Magnificant and Tatooine were playing some sort of game, it involved a ball on a string, and a wooden cup, they were both trying to get it in, “What can I do to be entertaining?” Becca looked at me, Tatooine looked at me, and they both broke out into a loud guffaw… I sighed. I was going to lose… It was a long run…

I went to my bedroom, and there was the glow of a computer screen, and a man in front of it with an afro the size of big child’s ball. He turned to me and hissed loudly. It was the author…

Look at that fro.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him with a pointed glare.

“Shutup, I’m busy…”

“What are you doing?” I walked up, and he hid the screen from me.

“None of your business,” he said shortly, and then held a button down, “Okay… What do you think our chances of survival are?”
The computer spoke back but it was someone else’s voice, “33.35%”

“Are you watching some sort of interactive porn?”

“No! It’s a game, stop it!”

“What kind of game…”

“Shutup!” He held a button, “Hold on guys, some stupid twi’lek is bothering me… Don’t pull yet.”
“Sure thing. Is that the one from your blog? Tell her she’s hot.”
“You’re hot,” he said to me.

“So now I’m a stupid twilek, I need your help…”

“I can’t right now, I’m playing a game...” He said moving so I could see… He was playing some sort of online fantasy game, and the character he was using looked like me except with fangs, hair and a wicked looking set of armor.

See the resemblance?

“OK, guys let’s finish this boss,” he said, “I hope that epic loot drops, I need that tier 4 token real bad, my crown is working, but only so much… Then I’m heading over to WSG and AV, where I hope we can cap up, not like last time when they took forever, and I got flagbearer sickness, and Vann has been taunting me forever… After that, the Midsummer Festival is on, I need Exodar, Darnassus, and SW, I got IF last night. Then perhaps you want to drop Ahune? I want that NCP, nothing beats a mini-FE, you know?”
“Yeah man, I hear ya!”
“I’m in for AV if you help me get my marks.”
“Cool, Ahune? I’ll meet you in CF-SP after you finish up.”
“Right on,” said the author, then he hit some buttons and sith lightning came from his hands, and soon he finished, hit a button or two, and then he turned to me, I looked at the screen confused.

“Why aren’t you at home- Blue eyes doesn’t know, does she?”
“Nope. And you have great internet… Man, it’s like… Fifty-thousand times faster then on earth.”
“Okay… Whatever… So… Help me!” I looked over the shoulder and saw that the character was doing something. He then turned and stopped doing it…
“She was dancing!” I exclaimed, “What was that dance?”
“It was just /dance crazy Twilek.”
“Dude, do it again, that’s perfect, its exactly what I need.”
“Okay… Whatever…”

He did it…

In case the Embed doesn't work.
A lower, but better quality half dance

It looked something like that.

I grabbed some of my clothes. Some red ones, red usually clashed, I ran to my drawer, grabbed a pair of Fire-Island 9,393,456,102’s famous fire-gloves, and I grabbed out my fake pit of coals.

Perfect… A fiery dance for the ages.


I got up on stage, the lights were bright, but I liked it that way. I never had to look at my crowd that way. I walked out on stage, dropped my fake pit of coals, not turning it on yet… I stepped up. I put my hands on my hips, as music began to play.

I started with my arms, I moved them in a fluid motion, then I began to move my hips that have never lied to me. I moved them back and fourth slowly. Raising my arms in the air as I wiggled my body.

I smiled as I lit my hands on fire with the gloves. It burnt brightly and the lights died down. I started moving the hands towards my face and on my hips so the curves of my body could be seen.

With a sharp turn in the up-beat of the music, I hit the button on my fake fire, and it lit up brightly showing the whole of my body in a dull red glow, and I started to get into the more complicated hip movements and arm movements.

I finished it all off in a burst of red flame that shot me onto the ground near them where I landed with perfectly on the table of four very strange looking gentlemen.

(Jean Claude
Mr. T
Verne Troyer)

They started clapping and stuffing my sleeves with green money, and I sighed… Perfect, at least I entertained someone.

Firey Hugs, and dna sguH yerif(ia),
Erifia Apoc

(A note from the Author- FOR THE HORDE!)


Mr. Bennet said...

Nice B-listers, but I think one is a T-list celebrity. Hahahahaha! I'm funny.

West said...

Erifia, baby, I can never get tired of watching you dance.

*is totally hovering outside your window; no need to get up and look*

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...





.......Huh? What?

Oh, er, nice dance.

Henchman432 said...


Professor Xavier said...

That dude with the 'fro can sure make you dance nice.

Nepharia said...

Very entertaining indeed. :D