Thursday, June 5, 2008

A better Mousetrap... Somewhat (Erifia)

Frankly… It seems like Jon is just getting us to do his chores. Well, not just frankly. Honestly, It seems like Jon is just getting us to do his chores. I seem to remember several other competitions like this… Fighting off an Invading Force = Jon Chore. Cleaning out the Sidekick room in the first LGS = Jon Chore. Killing space mice = Jon Chore.

Thanks Jon. Glad to know I can do your chores.

So, I had to build a better mouse trap… My mouse trap is usually a thermal detonator and a will to blow things up.

“Erifia!” Becca yelled as she came running up to me…

What did Becca Change?

“Becca did you change your hair?”

“I don’t know.”

“Your clothes?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

Maybe it was a new mask… I don’t know… Oh God, now I’m doing it.

“Becca why are you all dressed… Up? Or Down… Why are you wearing a bikini?”

“Like, I want to see Garth and Hub… They are handsome men…I would be Hub’s Jasmine any day of the week.”

They certainly look threatening…

“Fine… Maybe you can come… Help me think…” I started laughing and she put her hand on her hip, “Don’t matter if I can’t think,” she said, “You know I look good.” She snapped her fingers and walked out.


Becca the Magnificent was incorrigible. She walked up to Garth and Hub, and their Nephew, they were sitting on the porch with guns. I often wonder why they always carry guns, but I imagine the Space Rats were large.

Waiting for Salesman.

“Hey Hub,” she said, while he sipped on a glass of lemonade.

“Yup,” he said in a low drawl, then he spit a little in a can.

“I’ll be your Jasmine…”

“Nope,” he said frankly, and Becca’s eyes started to water. That was a good come on line… She ran inside…

“Hey Erifia,” Hub said, as he spit into a can, “Better go save her… There are R.O.U.S. in there.”

I picked up my C.E.L.L. Com, and I dialed a friend’s number, I got his answering machine… I left him a short, brief message.


R.O.U.S.s That’s not good. That’s not good at all. I had to come up with a plan. I went into the ship and grabbed myself a fishing pole, and a hook. Sometimes, the classics you can’t beat.

I went up the stairs, I didn’t see any signs of R.O.U.S.s Up stairs at all. They probably can’t climb stairs. They are big fat little things. They can barely move at all… No bother.

Rodents of Unusual Size

I looked down. There was Becca… Sitting there with a platter of cheese. (Cheese in an old persons home? I thought they preferred Prunes) And a shirt on… She must have been really distraught.

Shouldn’t there be more Prunes then Cheese here?

She grabbed a piece, brought it towards her mouth, and a R.O.U.S. Leapt across and grabbed the cheese, she went to bite, and I heard her teeth touch. She growled, then said, “Ooo, Cheese.” And she grabbed another piece and the same thing happened.

I don’t know (I need to stop saying that) if she noticed the R.O.U.S.s stealing her cheese, or if she just thought she didn’t grab a chunk of cheese to begin with.

I hooked a slice of Swiss cheese, and I let it lay on the platter.


Soon enough she grabbed it, I waited with bated breath. There was a R.O.U.S. ready to jump for it. I knelt back, feet against the banister, and I felt a tug, and I started reeling it in.

I caught one, I used the classic trick to do it! For the win! For the win!


Painful and Funny as things often are.


Then the tension on my line loosened and there was a man standing there, not just any man, but my friend.

My old sword instructor, the best rat tap of all!

“Forget about Jasmine,” Becca said pulling the hook out of her mouth, “I’ll be your buttercup.”

“Erifia!” He shouted, “Behind you!” I pulled out my light saber and I swung into the R.O.U.S. coming at my back, so they can come up stairs.

Needless to say, my old sword fighting instructor and I made short work of the R.O.U.S.s in the Secondhand Old Gladiators Home. One need not build a better mousetrap I guess, one just need find really big rats and beat them down with sabers and swords.

“Yes,” He said to Becca, taking her hand and pulled her to him in an embrace, “You can be my Buttercup, if I can be your Wesley.”

They walked into the sunset and then they kissed.

Wonder how long this will last?

I went out on the porch with Garth and Hub, they handed me a glass of Lemonade and I had their nephew fetch me my sniper rifle.

A man in a car pulled up, “Hey today I want to sell you…”

“Go ahead,” Garth said, “Have at it Blue.”

I raised my gun…

Hugs and Kisses,
Erifia Apoc

PS. 2… Shoot me. Please.


Jean-Luc Picard said...

For some reason, I didn't notice Becca's mask in the top picture.

Simon said...

Yes, I must admit I missed the mask too, and Becca's body looks an awful lot like Monic Bellucci's. Very entertaining tale, my blue dear, but you didn't complete the mission, which was to build a better mouse trap. I know you're not a details girl, but do try to remember the main points of a challenge.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Becca's looking good. She must be eating plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables.

Nepharia said...

Can't say I was looking at either picture of Becca, but that's just me....

Henchman432 said...

Where was the mouse trap?

Erifia Apoc said...

The fishing pole with Cheese on the end. If the ROUS went for it, he fell for my trap. Muhahaha.

Ciera said...

yeah, I didn't see any pic od Becca either.

I did see Westley though...

Mr. Bennet said...

He is just having us do his chores, isn't he? Shame on you, Jon! Shame on you! (I left your dry cleaning at your door, by the way. I get Immunity now, yes?)

Professor Xavier said...

Becca's all grown up. Tell her to fill out an X-Men application.

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