Sunday, June 15, 2008

Where Is The Talent?

Awful. Complete rubbish. I expect it from the Malfians, you wouldn’t know what a good attempt would be if it smacked you up side the head, which would explain why you got rid of Captain Koma, one of your stronger teammates. Morons, the whole lot of you. Another issue is that some of you seem to have completely missed the concept of the challenge. I have a feeling that if I asked the lot of you to sing a song, some of you would go walk a shut-in's dog and think you'd done the task.

West: I had so much hope that you were going to do complete the mission and have an unique take. I thought you would float over to the ship and either latch on a tow line or maybe bring people back in a grand space conga line. No, not even close.

: You didn’t really do anything very exciting, but it certainly took you a long time to say that. The only bright spot in the very tepid episode was that should I ever decide to write naughty novels, you have provided me with an excellent name option with Ensign McGivers.

Sylar: Another adventure that I thought would be good but wasn’t. The bright side was that at least you got to the ship and dealt with the passengers in your own unique manner.

Hotstuff: Your best work to date

Mr. Bennett: You were rather entertaining. Even though you never completed the task, at least you realized it and came up with a solution of sorts.

KonEl: My good man, what the fuck? The grammar was abused worse than the new kid on the alter boy circuit. I swore to Jon I’d judge the entire effort of every contestant, but I’m really regretting that promise.

Professor X: I’m hard pressed to criticize. It wasn’t the most entertaining, but at least you completed the mission. I don’t give a Queen’s turd if you cheated, at least you did the challenge.

Nephria: Ugh. VanHalen? Certain things have not been done before because all the other people who thought of it realized how awful it was and decided not to impose the misery on others.

Erifia: You made some effort to complete the task. Yes, it was very minimal, but at least you kept your lovely eyes on the prize. Shame you and your crew don’t know the difference between a laser and a tractor beam.

Jon: I think you plagiarized your whole episode, it all sounds a bit like Saerk to me. But you did show them all how it should be done, shame you can’t be a winner.

I’ve been a bit torn on whom to declare a winner. I want to punish the Malfians for being pants on head retarded for booting Koma, but is that fair? Mr. Bennett had a good post. But then again so did the bald gimp. The lovely blue Jedi did a fair job and is a tasty crumpet to behold.

After much thought, deliberation, and harassing what can only be Paula in a beekeepers suit, I have reached a decision.

Mr. Bennett, you are this round’s winner



captain koma said...



Eat on that Bennet.

Ciera said...

maybe someday you can tell me how I can improve Simon, when you can do it without insulting me, but for the moment I am content that I have at least one more week b/c with Mr B's win, I'm safe for another week.

Mr. Bennet said...

Now I know how Ruben Studdard feels.

I'm guessing Simon has some brotherly love for his fellow semi-Englishman, Koma. Australians are, after all, the rednecks of the UK. And just as we Americans overlook the grammatical errors of our retards of the south, it appears Simon does the same with his retards of down under. Not that your posts were bad, but they make Kon-El look like George Foster Peabody. (Foster...that means something in Australian, yes?)

Henchman432 said...

I look like Mr.Nice Guy, now don't I.

Nepharia said...

Let's face it, Simon is about a subtle as a brick through a window. Not real Sith material, I'm afraid -- no matter how evil he may be.

But congrats Mr. Bennet. Sorry your team lost HS -- always good entertainment.

Professor Xavier said...

*does a spit take*