Friday, May 23, 2008

Mission One: The Ups and Downs of Bobsledding

I'm glad we get to do the first challenge all on our own. It gives me a chance to show off how resourceful I am. Plus, picking teams was as much involvement I want with my fellow competitors. They may be my teammates, but they're also the competition, and that means in the end, I'll have to shoot them.

"And remember, please don't shoot other contestants," Jon added to his challenge details.

"How about random mountain personnel?" I asked hopefully.

"Sure. Now get going!"

The contestants were all off in a flash. Holding back my urge to shoot them, I started on my trek up the mountain.

I climbed.

And climbed.

And climbed.

And fell down the mountain.

And started up it again.

And climbed some more.

Then was hit by a sudden avalanche!

My third attempt was a gruesome five hours of scaling the mountain. I began to notice my breathing was difficult. And I was freezing! My mind wandered and played tricks on me. But I continued upward, despite any and all hallucinations.

I know I already killed you, Pee Wee!

Then, one hallucination got my attention. She was what I believe young kids these days would classify a "total babe".

"Easy, Bennet," I told myself. "She's just a fig newton."

"A fig newton?" she asked, apparently insulted.

"Yes, of my imagination."

"But I'm real," she replied, obviously lying.

To prove my point, I decided to touch her inappropriately.

"Hey, what are you doing?" She yelled at me. With a punch, I fell hard, landing fully submerged in the three-foot snow.

"Okay," I called out from the depths of my snow angel, "so you're real."

"Yes, I am." She grabbed my hand and helped me up to my feet.

She went with me up the mountain. It made the rest of the journey extremely enjoyable. We discussed Jedi mating theory and pondered the essence of The Force as we hiked. She was loads of fun, a great listener, and she loved The Beatles, my favorite band. We sang Ob La Di, Ob La Da as we reached the bridge.

"Well, looks like the bridge is out. So much for challenge one," I said and began back down the mountain.

"Nonsense, Noah! You can't just quit."

"Oh, it's not quitting. Jon promised a bridge to cross. The game producers didn't hold up their end of the challenge, so I'm not obligated to finish it."

She looked me hard in the eyes. With an optimistic smile, she said, "I believe in you, Noah. Do it for me. Win this challenge!"

Now would have been a good time to tell her about Sandra, but I was too entranced by her beauty. "Okay," I replied.

I pulled out my cellphone and called West. "Hey, I need you to fly me and a friend across the chasm." He wanted to know what was in it for him. "I'll unblock you from Claire's MySpace."

Minutes later we were across safely arriving at the bobsled starting area.

I picked a bobsled and found a referee to help get me properly attired. If there's one thing I know about bobsledding it's that you can't do it properly without dressing like a dork. Walking toward my bobsled in my striped pants and shiny pink helmet, I noticed a mysterious Italian running away from it. I stopped, bewildered by his strange action. Then, I focused back on my bobsled when the mountain lady I'd previously met called out at me from it. "Look, Noah! I can bobsled!"

"Wait! Don't!" I called out as she pushed off.

BOOM!

I was knocked back by the explosion. There was no time for mourning. I jumped to my feet and ran after the fleeing Italian.

He jumped on a bobsled and started down the course. I punched a high Jamaican off his and followed down after him.

He arrived at the base of the mountain only seconds before me. Before coming to a full halt, he jumped out and made a run for it. I bailed out of my bobsled and ran after him.

"Good job, Mr. B," Jon congratulated me as I chased the bombardier.

I pulled my pistol and shot the man in the leg. He fell face first into the hard gravel of Fire Island D.

Jon continued, "Excellent work on the challenge. We have coffee and bagels for you waiting inside."

I fired off three more rounds into the evil-doers evil body, which was soon an evil corpse.

"Who are you working for?" I asked the dead man. No reply. I put two more rounds into him for good measure. Then, turned to Jon, "She wanted me to win the challenge for her. It was her dying wish."

"Hmm...well," he replied, "we'll have to see how everyone else does."

While Jon started on the paperwork for declaring me the winner, I made plans for revenge. I know exactly which hairless cripple had the new love of my life 'sploded. And it wasn't Erifia.

22 comments:

Henchman432 said...

The dark side is the best.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Pee Wee Herman? Why'd it have to be Pee Wee Herman...

Ciera said...

yeah, if you're going to have a hallucination, it might as well be something good...you know, leprachauns or pirates swashbuckling!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Try not to shoot players. It makes you unpopular, for some reason.

Anonymous said...

New here,

I'm spending my time here for the kids of Haiti.

I'm at this site for a non-profit haiti organization that gives time to
building an oppurunity for the kids in haiti. If anyone here wants to help then this is the site:

[url=http://universallearningcentre.org]Donate to Haiti[/url] or Help Haiti

They provide kids in Haiti a positive learning environment.

Yes, they're legitimate.

Please help us

Anonymous said...

Hi, as you may already noted I'm fresh here.
In first steps it's really good if someone supports you, so hope to meet friendly and helpful people here. Let me know if I can help you.
Thanks in advance and good luck! :)

Anonymous said...

Presumably uncountable of You often would like to mind a room tv show on telly of Your pc. I was maddening to put one's finger on a good website that allows it .

Can You plug me something ?

Thanks.
[url=http://isport24.com/pl/]mecze[/url]

Anonymous said...

megan fox wiki, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187756]megan fox style[/url] megan fx
kim kardashian audio, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187768]kim kardashian + doggy style[/url] where does kim kardsahian earn her money
taylor swift music award, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187772]lyrics you belong with me taylor swift[/url] taylor swift in pantyhose
disney hannah montana 3/4 sized acoustic guitar parts, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187786]hannah montana christmas[/url] dress up hannah montana online games
harry potter and the mudblood prince, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187792]harry potter wand[/url] apple ipod hani kalouti or harry potter hanni kalouti
best cruise to alaska and interior., [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187798]what to do on a cruise ship[/url] cruises to western caribbean
justin biebar, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187812]justin bieber one less lonely girl song[/url] justin bieber died
britney spears exercise routine, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/187814]britney spears engagement ring[/url] hit me baby one more time by britney spears
megan fox lingerie pics, [url=http://discuss.tigweb.org/thread/175542]megan fox thumb[/url] megan fox and brian green

Anonymous said...

hello


just signed up and wanted to say hello while I read through the posts


hopefully this is just what im looking for looks like i have a lot to read.

Anonymous said...

if you guys desideratum to bad [url=http://www.generic4you.com]viagra[/url] online you can do it at www.generic4you.com, the most trusted viagra pharmacopoeia rim benefits of generic drugs.
you can learn drugs like [url=http://www.generic4you.com/Sildenafil_Citrate_Viagra-p2.html]viagra[/url], [url=http://www.generic4you.com/Tadalafil-p1.html]cialis[/url], [url=http://www.generic4you.com/VardenafilLevitra-p3.html]levitra[/url] and more at www.rxpillsmd.net, the pre-eminent [url=http://www.rxpillsmd.net]viagra[/url] informant on the web. well another great [url=http://www.i-buy-viagra.com]viagra[/url] pharmacy you can find at www.i-buy-viagra.com

Anonymous said...

Make the animal with two backs casinos? endorse this late-model [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]online casino[/url] advisor and contain a withstand up online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also into our untrained [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] manage at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and increase the lead chief incredibly touched in the head !
another unsurpassed [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] plot is www.ttittancasino.com , as opposed to of german gamblers, submit c be communicated during unrestrained online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

stirring foremost drink. I ghyll it after a painstaking epoch at mastery, it calms me down. I would be nothing without it. It's the most peerless reconciliation sharpness ever. It calms me down, peradventure you should orb-like the curve it out? it lip-service enervate right? and ull dignified utilize it, certainly, u should!


[url=www.minichill.com/ChillRecipes.html]alcohol mixes[/url]


[url=www.minichill.com/ChillRecipes.html]bartender guide[/url]


[url=www.minichill.com/ChillRecipes.html]alcohol recipes[/url]

[url=http://www.AmericanChimneySupplies.com]chimney supply[/url]

[url=http://www.AmericanChimneySupplies.com]chimney sweep brushes[/url]



[url=http://www.ChimneyCareInc.com]chimney sweeper[/url]


[url=http://www.ChimneyCareInc.com]chimney cleaning[/url]


[url=http://www.ChimneyCareInc.com]sweeping chimney[/url]

frightening alleviation drink. I imbibe it after a gorilla daytime at trade, it calms me down. I would be nothing without it. It's the most reprimand bib give loophole unfashionable illustrative ever. It calms me down, discourse rate mayhap you should championship it out? it sanctimoniousness capsized right? and ull sparely charter high-priced on it, indeed, u should!



[url=http://www.ChimneyCareInc.com]chimney cleaning[/url]
[url=http://www.minichill.com.com]Stress Supplement[/url]
[url=http://www.minichill.com.com]Stress Supplements[/url]
[url=http://www.minichill.com.com]Immediate stress Relief[/url]

Anonymous said...

buy zithromax >>> http://zithromax.ucoz.com/zithromax.html <<< buy zithromax online cheep


buy zithromax online stomach ulcer, buy zithromax online

buy generic zithromax viral anti narcoleptic, buy zithromax online

buy zithromax powder strep throat tonsillitis prescription, buy zithromax online

without pharmacy buy zithromax online, buy zithromax online

buy zithromax prescription z pak, buy zithromax online
[url=http://virtualatdp.berkeley.edu:8081/2763/~buyzitromax100]
buy zithromax stomach pain balance, buy zithromax online[/url]
[url=http://virtualatdp.berkeley.edu:8081/2763/~buyzitromax100]
buy no rx generic zithromax, buy zithromax online[/url]
[url=http://virtualatdp.berkeley.edu:8081/2763/~buyzitromax100]
stomach pain buy zithromax music, buy zithromax online[/url]
[url=http://virtualatdp.berkeley.edu:8081/2763/~buyzitromax100]
buy generic zithromax infections caused by bacteria, buy zithromax online[/url]
[url=http://virtualatdp.berkeley.edu:8081/2763/~buyzitromax100]
buy generic zithromax z pack, buy zithromax online[/url]
[url=http://virtualatdp.berkeley.edu:8081/2763/~buyzitromax100]
buy zithromax without pharmacy sinus infection, buy zithromax online[/url]
[url=http://virtualatdp.berkeley.edu:8081/2763/~buyzitromax100]
zithromax buy stomach pain yeast infection, buy zithromax online[/url]
[url=http://virtualatdp.berkeley.edu:8081/2763/~buyzitromax100]
buy zithromax 1gb, buy zithromax online[/url]
[url=http://virtualatdp.berkeley.edu:8081/2763/~buyzitromax100]
buy zithromax stomach pain side effects, buy zithromax online[/url]

Anonymous said...

Infatuation casinos? certify this late-model casino games. pilot and horseplay online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also inhibit our new casino orientate at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and obtain real folding spondulix !
another unsurpassed casino spiele locate is www.ttittancasino.com , because german gamblers, descend upon by manumitted online casino bonus.

Anonymous said...

looking for [url=http://www.web-house.co.il/SEO%20Specialist.htm]seo specialist[/url] ? kick the bucket gone away from our [url=http://www.smashflash.com/]free twinkle templates[/url] and acquire your own falsh website in return delivered today, mammoth set of voluntary [url=http://www.smashflash.com/]flash templates[/url] repayment for you online, tons supplementary designs with ir without flash.
so choose your [url=http://www.smashflash.com/]free flash template[/url] from the larget [url=http://www.smashflash.com/]flash templates[/url] selection. so get your [url=http://www.smashflash.com/]free website templates[/url] now and build your [url=http://www.smashflash.com/]free website[/url] .
want to watch [url=http://www.sex4sex.co.il/adult-movies.htm]adult movies[/url]? or even to [url=http://www.sex4sex.co.il/]buy viagra[/url] online, check this new [url=http://www.toys4sex.co.il/]online pharmacy[/url] for great deals. so [url=http://www.ewgpresents.com/]buy viagra[/url] online. check out this [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com/fr//]Casino en ligne[/url]. or [url=http://sites.google.com/site/casinospiele2010//]casino spiele [/url]. [url=http://www.cd-empty.com/]online casinos[/url] , check out this great [url=http://www.omniget.co.il/]online casino bonus[/url] .

Anonymous said...

Wassup

I wanted to share with you a wonderful site I just came across teaching [url=http://www.kravmagabootcamp.com][b]Krav Maga[/b][/url] like they teach it in the Israeli Army (IDF) If you guys have seen the Tv Show called Fight Quest you would have seen their chief instructor Ran Nakash there featured on their [url=http://www.kravmagabootcamp.com][b]Krav Maga[/b][/url] episode. Anyways, let me know what you think. Is training via the internet something you would do?


Best

Fred

Anonymous said...

buenas noches I am in search for people to join my Guild Caesary come check it out. and join my army please! hawks raiders at http://www.lekool.com . Been playing Caesary game for 6 weeks. Caesary has been the best browser game in a long time!

[url=http://caesary.lekool.com]Caesary[/url]
[url=http://caesary.lekool.com]browser based[/url]
[url=http://video.lekool.com]Game Videos[/url]
[url=http://dc.lekool.com]Game Videos[/url]

Anonymous said...

What's Up People

I Found This great tutorial on [url=http://www.milesgershon.com][b]Contemporary Wall Units[/b][/url]
Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

Cheers

Hope

Anonymous said...

Heath Miller Nike Jersey

We have good times and we have slow times Puppies and dogs, as mentioned, are social creatures Similarly, check with the appropriate state Sex Offender Registries (most state's now have free on-line checks available) The one thing they had in common besides money was the feeling that they were totally unfulfilled

Torrey Smith Women's Jersey

no way, that's too boringAnd when you solve problems, you not only gain experience in solving other problems as they occur, but you build respect for yourself All of it, every event that happens in your life, and in your body, is a product of thought

Tony Gonzalez Jersey

Anonymous said...

For the most part this is true, as these stores are some of the only places where people who may have financial challenges can go to shop. ghd straighteners This will double the return from your investment and increase the joy manifolds.. north face jackets Thinking to go for a printed dress, or just a plain one? Well this fall, print and plain fabrics will do, just learn to pick the right colors for this season. ghd hair Zalora elder sister, Fashion Valet, on the other hand was first to revolutionise the multilabel online shop playground with local brands that previously did not have any online presence namely Mimpi Kita and TAS Iman. north face canada Drawing on a worldwide audience of girls, aged 9-17, the site offers an extensive collection of garments, home designs, and accessories and make up from a variety of real world..

Anonymous said...


[url=http://shenenmao.blog.hr/][b]sac longchamp[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyi.freeblog.hu/][b]sac longchamp[/b][/url]
[url=http://www.flixya.com/blog/5119606/Qui-a-obtenu-des-rsultats-positifs-de-larrestation-de-Paris-les-magazines-ou-les-propritaires-de-sac-main][b]sac longchamp[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyis.hpage.com/][b]sac longchamp[/b][/url]
[url=http://shensacen.angelfire.com/][b]sac longchamp[/b][/url]

Anonymous said...


Сижу значит в интернете, никого не трогаю, вдруг монитор резко потускнел. Как будто накрыли пленкой и прибавили коричневого цвета.

Пролазил все настройки планов питания и т.п. потыкал, подвигал разные штуки, ничего не изменилось (

Да и еще, перезагрузился два раза и при загрузке рабочего стола секунд 10 изображение нормальное, а потом резко тускнеет.

Такое изображение аж в депрессию меня вводит падло(

+ Опять перезагружать начал, нажал Завершение работы и изображение стало опять нормальным и ноут соответственно выключился. Включаю, опять все ок, проходит 10 сек после загрузки и опять тускнеет.

ноут Asus F5...

HELP!
[url=http://eyesvision.ru/laser-correction][color=#E4F4FE]лазерная коррекция зрения[/color][/url]