Sunday, May 18, 2008

Xavier conquers nature

Captain Koma nudged my elbow. I turned my attention away from the rather enticing curve of the back of Dark Jedi Nepharia's skin tight outfit and looked up at him. He nodded towards the podium where Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator was announcing the first challenge.

Mountain climbing. My second favorite hobby. Right after slamming my head into a brick wall. I wanted to point out to Jon that I don't have the use of my legs, which can be an impediment to doing outdoorsy things hauling myself up large mounds of earth for no particular reason. If I want to do something just because it's there, then I'll attempt a conquest of Megan Fox.


(gratuitous picture of sexy Fox)






I debated with myself for a few moments about whether to cheat and use my hover chair to sail up the mountain face. Wasn't much of a debate really. I activated the rapid ascent feature of my chair and to my shock and dismay, nothing happened. Flipping open the motor panel, I saw that a control regulator had been removed, the one that was needed for the ascent. Someone had sabotaged my chair!

Obviously it was Bennett. I suppose though it might have been Sylar. He's funny that way. No, on second thought he'd probably put a plastic explosive filled whoopee cushion on my seat. This kind of sabotage would have to be Bennett.

I suppose this meant I would have to climb this mountain with just my hands and arms. Right, like the world's most powerful telepath is going to crawl up some rocky, icy pile of dirt for a few weeks. I reached into Kon-El's mind and took him over. I had him fly me up over the mountain, across the suspension bridge and to the bob-sled area. I then had Kon fly back down while I erased his memory of what had just happened. I wouldn't want to create any dissension among my own team, after all.

I was offered three choices by the crew at the top of the slope - a team bobsled, a uni-luge or a snowboard. None of those really suited my particular talents. I had the crew fit a snowboard onto the bottom of my chair and place me at the top of the long run. Saying a little prayer to Viskinu, the god of outdoor snow sports, I had them push me off.



Needless to say, I brilliantly sailed down the mountain face, swooshing and sliding down the packed snow. All those years of watching my students maneuver through the Danger Room must have rubbed off on me.

8 comments:

Jean-Luc Picard said...

After seeing the picture of Megan Fox, I nearly forgot to read the entry.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

It looks like your face is about to rub off of you...

Henchman432 said...

Sign, yet another retread...

Nepharia said...

Xavier, you could have at least provided a picture of yourself in a bikini. Ms. Fox leaves me cold.

Ciera said...

I have to agree with Nepharia.

Hotstuff said...

please do it in private

my eyes are sensitive

Paula Abdrool said...

If I could like carbon freeze you and mount you over the fireplace in my living room so I could look at you and your post forever I totally would!!!

Erifia Apoc said...

Good job, Professor. I see why I picked you. :)