I remember Nepharia well… She was part 1 of the reason I went dark side for awhile there. Part 2 was the first LGS. But we won’t get into that. Nepharia and I go way back.
I hate her.
Professor X, doesn’t know this, or didn’t know this. He was all like, “I think it would be the best course of action for Kon-El to come with me. The two women can go together. They are both from the same universe.”
Thanks Professor, observations are key. Because the whole time I was at this little meeting from Mustafar, I was glaring at Nepharia. She was glaring at me. Men are so unobservant. You give them a little hint and they miss it totally.
We flew on Nepharia’s small ship, my Langorian ship is big and bulky to say the least. The docking bay was empty when we landed, and I used the force to go invisible. Nepharia was less gifted. Her control of the force was more about… Blunt, obvious explosions. Mine is like… Quiet, Guile Sneaking.
I pulled out my two sabers… White and Purple. My babies. It had been awhile since I used them. Nepharia… Let’s just say, she’s not very quiet. As she left her tiny ship, she tripped over six boxes. Somehow, the henchmen didn’t notice.
I think it has something to do with their helmets. I shook my head… Ridiculous. She can’t be subtle. She got in front of me, the Henchman still weren’t acting… What was wrong with them?
I started running forward to scout ahead, and she held out her foot, and I went face first into the ground, “OUCH! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!” I shouted standing up. The Henchman heard that.
In a fight, Nepharia was an asset. We fought back to back, my sabers going, her sabers flying, lightning bolts from her, throwing sabers from me. We started dancing into the crowd and as we were bouncing around I was in the middle of a graceful maneuver when she punched me in the face!
It wasn’t even an oops. So I force shoved her into a group of them, and went flying over her head. I hate Sith. I hate Women. Nepharia’s got two strikes against her from the start.
Getting to the bridge was easy. Two force packing, light saber carrying women can make short work of anyone or anything in their way.
Once on the bridge, the big boss-man was sitting in the control station. He was a strange looking character with long finger nails, long black hair, and glowing eyes. He turned to us, “Ahhh… Yes… Nepharia, Erifia… I understood Jon was forcing you to come on board… Do either of you have green eyes?”
“Then you are of no use to me!” He growled and closed his hand, and a bunch more henchmen popped out. These ones were all wearing tight black clothes, with a red foot on their head… Where do these people…uhm…find these people?
Nepharia wasted no time blasting a group of them with force lightning, “So,” she said, “Ever think about coming back to the dark-side?” She said leaping up, and the foot people followed her.
I jumped backwards, kicking one in the face, suddenly I had a brilliant idea, I pictured everyone as Nepharia. That made me smile real big. I kicked Nepharia in the face, “No. I’m good. Literally and I’m going to stay here.”
“Well!” She said, throwing her saber, I ducked it hit a foot guy behind me, and I rolled out of its way coming back, my two sabers flying around, cutting off the foot guys feet, “What if we promised you cookies… We have great cookies.”
Wow, the dark side must be desperate, “What kind of cookies?” I asked leaping above the Captain’s burst of light from his eyes.
“No!” I said grabbing onto one of the lights on the ceiling and hanging on. There was a strange man, he was sitting there with a bag with the number 6 on it, and a bottle of liquid.
“What about if it was the only way to survive? What if you had to go evil so you can… Save the Jedi Temple? Then we could hang out, be friends, kill innocent people daily, be the fist of Darth Sidious…”
“No, not even in your hypothetical situation, I still hate you,” I said. The strange man intrigued me, but I didn’t have a chance as the captain’s eyes made the light collapse and I went falling down.
“How many you got left?” She asked, with a evil laugh.
“Looks like 5.”
“I’ve been done, slowpoke,” she taunted. I fell on the captain, and I started punching him in his face, repeatively, “That’s-What-You-Get-For-Shooting-Stuff-Out-Of-Your-Eyes-You-Are-Worthless,” he was unconscious, “I beat the boss of the level, that’s more points then the henchmen!”
“Whatever,” said the elder sith. She took hold of the controls, and she pulled the ship around pointing it at the other ship attacking, she looked at a big red button… I looked at the big red button.
“Want to make the competition a lot easier?” she asked me.
“You know, that’s the first thing I enjoyed hearing all night.”
She hit the button…
Out of the front of the ship a flag shout out, unraveled and said, “BANG!”
Yellow Foot Hugs, and Sith Jedi Kisses,