Saturday, May 17, 2008

Challenge #1: What's An Elferkill?

OMG! Jon the Introglockenspeil Gladiator wants me to do WHAT? Climb?! But that means I have to physically exert myself! I might glisten sexily, and then all the sherpas will try to have their way with me! Wait a minute, that sounds fun!

So off I went! I was totally sad to find no sexy sherpas to take advantage of me, but I still had hope for the bobsled racers at the top! I looked at the deadly mountain, towering above me, now shooting lava that would probably give me a lil burn if I touched it - and giggled. Up the mountain I skipped merrily!

Halfway up the mountain, I came across a pretty birdy. It was big, 'n scaly, 'n it breathed hot fire! I think it was called a dragon or something. Anyways, that's what it said when I called it cute!

"You dare call the mighty dragon, Glerthinbar, cute? You shall die a slow, painful death!"

"Awww, what a pretty song you sing, you pretty songbird!" I giggled. I reached out to pet it! When I pulled my hand back, it was like, totally gone!

Now, this was definitely the last straw. "OMG, you didn't just break my nails, you totally ate them! It's time for a catfight!"

Using my telekinetic (or is it televisionic?) super-mind trick as my sword, I slayed the mighty dragon by tearing its head off lol! I was like, totally a dragon slayer!

But...wait a minute! Dragon-slayer? That's totally nerdy! Like way more nerdy than this guy, who is probably Mr. Glasseseseses' brother, and that's way nerdy! I need to totally delete this part of the post! Where's the delete-button-thingie?! I can't find it! The keyboard has outsmarted me! WHHHHHHY?!?!

So anyways, after doing that thingie that never really happened, and crying in the corner for a minute lol, I injected some Claire-blood to regenerate a new hand, complete with perfect cheerleaderish nails. Soon after, I reached the top, and got to a bridge. Now, I've never told this to anybody before, but I'm like totally afraid of bridges. But there's one thing I'm not afraid of, in fact, it's one thing I totally love, and that's ice-skating rinks. Using the power of Sylar-logic, I used my power of freezing things to freeze the bridge and turn it into an ice-skating rink! Putting on my ice-skates that I had brought in hopes of getting a chance to use them on this volcanic matter, I started to skate across! Now, I'm not a good ice-skater. In fact, I fall about every 15 seconds lol and this time was no exception! But I made it across, only almost falling to my death about four times!

Now across the bridge, I ran into many sexy bobsled teams. I didn't know which one to choose! They all looked like, totally hot. So, I decided to like, approach the most capable looking bunch, the team that looked the most in their element...

"'ey mon. We're the Jamaican Bobsled Team!"

"Jamaicans? You're from Jamaica, right?"

"You got it, mon!"

"Jamaica is near Mexico, and Mexicans are known for their great bobsledding ability, lol! Let's do this thing, guys!"

So, with my new team of bobsled experts, we ran down the luge thingie, and hopped into the bobsled! We raced down the mountain at molasses-fast speeds! But, before we reached the bottom, our bobsled broke, and we crashed! All of the Elferkill spectators held their breath at the finish line! The suspense was killing them, and me, even though I knew what had become of us, lol!

We got out of the bobsled, and picked it up heroically lol. We walked across the finish line at the bottom of the mountain!

"Challenge complete lol!" I said, as the crowd cheered at our totally moral victory. "Thanks, guys for helping me! Hmmm, I'm hungry,"

And with that, I brutally murdered the Jaimaican bobsled team and ate their brains! "Cruel Runnings!" I loled at them. Hmmm, Jamaican brains taste funny. Haha funny. lol funny.

Dude, did you ever stop to think of why the grass is green, and not like, blue man? Far out.


Jean-Luc Picard said...

Done as I would expect Sylar to do it.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

"Cruel runnings?" That's so funny in a funny, evil way.

Professor Xavier said...

Mr. Glasses is still here? I thought you ate his brains for winning your reality show contest?

Henchman432 said...

If I read the term "lol" one more time. I will stick a ice pick in your Myfriends page.

Dental for all.

Paula Abdrool said...

I wish I could totally vote for you a million billion times! You are the best ever!!

Becca the Magnificant said...

I don't know much.... But isn't like Jamaica near the tropics?

Wouldn't that have been a foresight?

I don't know... Maybe Erifia was smart to have not picked you...