The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be
Welcome contestants, as you may imagine the next few weeks will be the most grueling and difficult that you may have encountered ever in your lives. Those of you who’ve been here before remember the physical demands and mental struggles that each of you dealt with here on Fire Island D (Please see this crummy map prepared by Private Hudson two space years ago). The challenge will be tough, but the reward will be great:
Now, let’s get down to bidness, or “business” as I like to call it. Everyone knows that the highest peak on Hacknor is Mount Elferkill, which stands at 11,848 space meters – 3,000 space meters higher than Mount Killamanjaro. Truly an amazing and daunting piece of geography, isn’t it? Few people have climbed it alone. Climbing a mountain this treacherous takes a team that’s willing to work together, using their skills and teamwork to work their way to the summit.
That’s why you’ll be scaling it on your own.
Your challenge is to climb that mountain, all the way to the top. Once you reach the top, you’ll need to move to the suspension bridge and cross it to get to the space bobsled track on the other side.
There you will make your choice. You can ride in a space bobsled with one of our space Olympic (hopeful) bobsled teams or you can luge down it yourself.
OK, I guess you can snowboard down it if you really want to.
The winner of the challenge gets immunity for his or her team.
Is everyone ready? On your marks… get ready… get set… HEY LOOK AT THAT BIRD! HA! Fooled you!
GO!
Last Gladiator Standing III was brought to you in part by
Al Swearengine’s Old Gem Saloon.
Whether you’re a screw head, dirt worshiper, heathen, dirt worshiping heathen, square head, sporto, motorhead, geek, slut, blood, wastoid, dweeb, righteous dude, dope fiend, canned peach fiend, pervert, hoople, hooplehead, Swede, frog, or celestial you’ll enjoy your time at the Old Gem.
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Al Swearengine’s Old Gem Saloon.
Whether you’re a screw head, dirt worshiper, heathen, dirt worshiping heathen, square head, sporto, motorhead, geek, slut, blood, wastoid, dweeb, righteous dude, dope fiend, canned peach fiend, pervert, hoople, hooplehead, Swede, frog, or celestial you’ll enjoy your time at the Old Gem.
The Old Gem Saloon, where men with discriminating tastes are never discriminated against.
7 comments:
Climbing a mountain. Gee that sounds like a really hard challenge there.
Easy peasy one two threasy.
When I did LGS2 we had to go into space and not be goosed by stupid yoga instructors.
Hahahahaha!
Nothing like hypothermia to take my mind off this sweltering summer heat!
What's the point in going up it if we're just going to come right back down? I think by not doing the challenge I already win it.
you're right...that's a pretty crummy map :P
woohoo that fire mountian looks like home
btw will the prize be autographed?
it is worth more if it is :D
I have to climb stuff?! I might break a nail!
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