Sunday, May 18, 2008

Challenge #1 The Bridge Is Out?!?!



Gulp.

The mountain is how high?

I hate heights. Someone must have sold my StarFleet psych test to Jon. When this is over, I’m hunting that butthead down.

Once Jon is done with his details of the challenge, he comes up to me and says, “Hey, Ciera. About that Easy Button of yours…”

“Nothing to worry about, Jon,” I reply, already thinking of the things I’m going to need to climb a mountain by myself. “The GodzFather said it wouldn’t work for competitions or personal gain.”

“The GodzFather?” Jon asks.

“Yeah, the Godfather of all Godfathers. He’s really kind of creepy. It’s a long story, I’ll tell you about it later, right now, I’ve got to go pack my gear for this climb.”

“Ok, then - Good luck,” says Jon and walks off to talk to another contestant.

I try to think of everything I might need to get to the top…I throw everything into the wagon I found, and then realized that I might have over packed…



Ooookay…I start throwing stuff out, getting anxious as I see others getting out ahead of me. How’d these get in there?


Someone’s been messing with my wagon!

Never mind! I don’t have time for this! I grab a backpack and shove in the barest necessities - water, rock climbing gear, chocolate, compass, oxygen tank, matches, duct tape. I get unhook the donkey and climb on her back…together, we make good time, climbing higher and higher. Because of my later start, I avoid the cobra’s, and lava flows, and avalanches…mostly…Ok, the avalanche killed my donkey and then I had to start off on foot, not quite from the bottom of the mountain, but damn near close. My poor donkey. :( I keep on climbing…

And climbing…

And climbing…

Whew…how tall is this mountain again?

Too tall…Pretty though…kind of…all that lava kind of puts a damper on things.

What a desolate place this is.

I drink some water…and I keep walking…

And walking…

I munch a candy bar…and keep on walking…

And walking…

The sound of an engine approaching jolts me out of the daze I’m in. Engine? I decide to hide in the bushes just in case they’re unfriendlies…ouch! These are prickly bushes! Still, I’m staying here until….

Holy Mother of all that is just….

The guardian angel of all Malfians appears on his motorcycle.


“Fonzie!” I cry popping out of the prickly bushes.

He stops the motorcycle, “Aaaayyyyy,” he says. “Hop on babe.”

Fonzie called me babe!!! I must be grinning like a fool! I climb on and wrap my arms around him. We take off, until we can go no further…

“You’re on your own from here on, babe,” Fonzie says, pinching my hiney as I get off.

Fonzie pinched my hiney!!!

He roars off looking for another Malfian in need, and I look up at the sheer rock climb before me…up…up…

Yikes!

Out of my backpack comes my grappling hooks and rope. It takes three shots before the pointed ends anchor. I make sure it is secure, gear up, and rock on!!!!

And climb…and climb some more…this is fah-reaking scary!!! This is why I almost flunked out of the Academy…I try not to think about how high up I am…try not to think about how the rock is scraping my knees and elbows…I’m becoming out of breath the higher I go, so about halfway up, I pause to pull out my oxygen tank and take a hit….or two…Wow!!! What a difference! I climb the rest of the way and reach the top….Now, didn’t he say there was supposed to be a suspension bridge around here somewhere?

I start looking…what’s this? The bridge that Jon said would be here... Isn't!!! On the other side, I see Nepharia disappearing. I wouldn't put it past her to have taken the bridge out with her lightsaber. Drats! Now what? I look down the ravine and see another bridge, so I go to check it out...it is already in use. Has someone beaten me to this bridge as well? Not quite...but it is full...



“Excuse me?!” I call out. Dozens of beady eyes turn to me… I gulp. Quite loudly I’m afraid. He looks constipated and constipated people aren't generally nice. “I'm trying to get to the Luge area. The bridge seems taken, is there another one? The one up the way is out.”

“Yes,” replies a man with a thick Indian accent. “There is a third bridge half mile that way.” He gestures to the left with his sword, even further down the ravine.

“Okey-dokey! Thanks!” I reply. I turn and quickly walk the way he pointed, wondering why I didn’t think to pack my sword. It’s probably back in the wagon underneath all those highheels! Sheesh! As I walk, I hear his friend hit him, and say in a proper accent….

“You idiot! She is pretty! We should keep her for ourselves!”

“Oh, good idea…Mebbe we can catch her…”

I break into a run…but I’m already exhausted so they catch me easily and take me back to the bridge. They carry me onto the bridge just as Indy raises his sword…

Oh my God, he’s gonna do it!



My captors loose their grip on me, and I cling to the bottom of the bridge…I’m on the right side, I hope, because when I look across the canyon, I see


Hastily, I climb my way to the top and run off in search of the other suspension bridge…looks like it's a fixer upper...But I’m so scared of the bad guys catching back up to me that I race across without even looking down! I trip over every other slat, and plow down some poor lost tourist {or is it another contestant? I don't know, I didn't stop for his name!}, but I don't look down. I hurry over to the Luge, disappointed that I have to assemble it myself. I end up running out of pieces, but it’s not completely together, so I pull out my duct tape and tape it up good and solid. I hop on.
It’s not too bad at first, it’s kind of fun. How Jon managed to get ice to stay on a fire island is beyond me., although it does look like it’s beginning to melt already.
But then, there is a sharp turn in the track and………



Omigod..omigod…OMIGOD!!!

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

OHMIGOD…I’M GOING TO DIE…I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE…I DON’T WANT TO DIE…I’M TOO CUTE…AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally slide to a stop in front of Jon, who for some reason is shaking his head and laughing at me.



My Kirk comes and wraps a blanket around me., telling me I did a good job. I just want a shower and a cup of cocoa…

10 comments:

Nepharia said...

Aw, hell. You didn't bring Indy back with you? We coulda had a really good time in Kon-El's hot tub with him.

Ciera said...

If he shows up again, I'll be sure to snag him!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Hey remember, any ride down the side of Mount Elferkill that you can walk away from is a good one, right?

Hotstuff said...

Great way to handle the Challenge :D

you know you two girls could join me in the hot tub :))

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Excellent entry, Ciera. You even had the Fonz! AAAAAAAYYYYY!

Paula Abdrool said...

You are awesome!!!

When I read your post I totally want to cover myself in coolwhip and feed myself to the Lakers!

Erifia's Author said...

Wow... Hey there... Indy used to be my hero.

Mr. Bennet said...

So what? He pinched my hiney too.

Henchman432 said...

I wasn't bored.

Mauve said...

Interesting to know.