Friday, July 4, 2008

X-Baby

Jon expects me to step into this device where I will revert in age, somewhere between 4 and 13? Well it better be 13. That's when my powers developed. It wasn't long after that, that I started to lose my hair. I'm a natural blond, you know.

Jon also wants us to maintain a journal about our experiences. I had best obtain some copyright protection, in case he has any funny ideas about reprinting my writings. I'm using a tape recorder to take down my observations.

Entering the transformation room, I can see that there is no one else present. I might as well dispense with the farce then. I am stepping out of my wheelchair. The metal tower in the center of the chamber is already emitting a fantastic array of colors. Weird energy is coursing through my body. I can feel myself changing. My body is . . shrinking and . .

Well this totally sucks! I'm a midget! An' . . an' I don't have any of my cool ass powers! How am I suppose to pay back that old fart-head with the glasses? An' none of these stupid clothes fit! I'm suppose to run around this place with my weenier hangin' out? Fine. Enjoy the show.



Oh, I see the old hosebag runnin' this game left some clothes out. Great. It's his fault I'm so short and don't have none of my kickass powers. He's the one who outta pay. Yeah, that's it. I'll get revenge on Jon. Heh heh.


Monday

I got the perfect plan! I got to whisper so no one can hear me. I'm sneakin' up to Jon's room. The poophead's not in. Heh heh heh.


Just walk across the room. Good. Go into the bathroom. Climb up on the hamper . . easy does it now . . yeah. Now I'm hanging a hidden video camera up . . oh this is great! Whoops! No . . no . . I got it. Okay, now to get the heck out of here and back to my room.

He's coming! Hide! Whew, that was close. I'm under the bed and I can hear his big feet walkin' by. Okay, he's in the bathroom. Now to beat it to my room!

This is great! I'm gonna put this all over YouTube! I'm flippin' on the monitor and . . AARRGGHHH!!!!!!! I'm blind! I'm blind! It's Granny Goodness and she's getting into the shower!!!


Tuesday

I'm stuck in the infirmary for the whole stinky day. That Granny's fat ass scarred me for life.


Wednesday

Okay, while I was in the infirmary I came up with the perfect plan. I'm going to take Jon's Danger Sled for a joy ride. Heh heh heh. This is going to be fun!




So I'm going to the teleporter tube. It totally takes me straight to the Danger Sled! Hmm, I'm lookin' at these controls and they seem a little . . confusing. Maybe this one? No, that didn't start it. Oh, must be this red button.





AARRGGGHHH!!!


HELP!! The ship is flyin' around out of control!! Somebody get me down! This stupid ship is going to crrasshhhhhh . . .


Thursday

So I'm in the lame ass infirmary again. Jon's dumb ship hit a satellite or somethin'. This sucks.


Friday

Okay, I had plenty of time to come up with a great plan. This one is perfect! I better wear a disguise though. I don't want stinkyhead Jon knowin' it was me.


Oh this gonna be great! I'm going to put waterballoons in all his shoes! When he steps into them, his feet are going to get all wet!!


I'm at the water fountain, fillin' up the first balloon. Oh man, I am so brilliant I amaze myself. The handle is kinda loose. Maybe if I turn it harder it - ARRGGHHH!!



*sputter* The stupid water is gettin' everywhere! How the heck is anyone suppose to turn this thing off?! I'm drowin' here!!

Well this just sucks.

Saturday

Well this whole week just blew. I wrecked Jon's ship. I flooded his hallway. I guess I better apologize. Sigh. He and Hudson went up to the satillite where the ship is being fixed. I'm going into the transporter to apologize to him.

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Heh heh heh.

7 comments:

Mr. Bennet said...

Well, that was rather childish.

Kon-El said...

Was Hudson in drag??

Professor Xavier said...

Yup!

Private Hudson said...

I lost a bet!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Right...

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I wonder if Xavier was like that before at that age.

Nepharia said...

well think, Prof. X -- you still kinda got even with Jon. Look at all the damage you did. :D