Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Sylar List

Omigod, there's like, so many things to do this challenge! Now, I know I'm notorious (I know that word? I'm surprised, too) for not doing what I'm supposed to do in challenges, but now we're getting down to end, so I figured I better actually listen. So, I wrote myself a list so I wouldn't forget anything!



There! All I had to do was get some brains? Hehe, that's easy, I'll win this challenge for sure! Er, wait a minute, that's my grocery list. Let's try this again...



That seems better. Now, let's get to it!

So, I needed the Mystic Iron Armor, and the Will Smith lookalike, Hancock, knew how to get it. I had to find him! But how? Hmmm. That's tricky. Then I got it! The Hancock Signal! Works for Batman! So, I lit a searchlight, and put a bottle of liquor in front of the beam.



It wasn't long before the superhero landed in front of me, and snatched the bottle from my hand.



"Hey, like, you're an a-hole," I said to him, appalled at such rude behavior from a good guy!

He glared at me. "Call me that one more time," he said.

"Ok! A-hole!" I exclaimed with a giggle.

He threw me up into the air, and I flew like a birdie! Wheeeeee! I fell back down, and landed in his strong, sexy arms.

Clapping my hands gleefully, I said, "That was fun! Again, again!"

"Ahem. You didn't say the magic word," he responded.

"Please?" I said.

Hancock shook his head.

"Oh," I responded, figuring out what word he meant, and said, "A-hole!" Up in the air I went again! Yay!

Halfway down my xixth trip up into the sky, I remembered my list! I pulled it out. Hmm, now what did I need again? I don't think he has a cow, pork or chicken brain, and he's probably not a store clerk...

Oh, wrong list again. I needed him to find me the Mystic Iron Armor!

Hancock caught me, and said, "Call me that one more time."

"Maybe later, but first, I have a question for you: do you know where the super-cute Mystic Iron Armor is?"

"Yeah I know. I can get you there."

"Will you get me there through throwing me?" I asked.

"Is there any other way?" he responded.

I clapped my hands and closed my eyes, waiting for my flight to begin. But it didn't. I opened one eye and glanced at Hancock. He was standing there, staring at me, with his arms folded.

I rolled my eyes. "Do I really have to say it again?"

Nodding, Hancock said, "Say it, one more time."

"Omigod, fine! A-hole!"

And with that, Hancock threw me, sending me flying through the air. And suddenly, I landed with a crash.

I looked up. In front of me stood the two men, and behind them, multiple sets of Mystic Iron Armors!



The one with makeup on had a gun pointed at me. Gosh, that makeup was really caked on. What a skank! "Skank!" I shouted at him.

The man cackled maniacally. "Skank? I am the Brain!"

"The...Brain?" I started to drool a little. If this guy was called the Brain, imagine how delectible his actual brain must be! "So, you're a supervillain, like me, what power might you have?" I asked, excited at the possibility of eating his brain and stealing a power. I hoped it wasn't the power of skankiness, but looking at his makeup, I was afraid it might be.

"Power? Well, uh, you see, I don't really have a power," he responded, scratching his head.

"You don't have a power?! Then why are you the Brain if your brain is worthless? They should call this guy the Brain," I said, pointing at the Brawn, "He's got a worthwhile brain that would give me a power! And I'd eat it too, if it wouldn't make me like, totally ugly! But you're called the Brain, even though your brain is good for nothing but giving me thunder thighs!"

The Brain totally broke down in tears. I stepped over to the Brawn, and put my arm around him.

"So, like, sexy, can I have one of your totally awesome Mystic Iron Armors or what?"

"You called me ugly," he said, growling.

"Oh, no, no," I responded, "That look totaly works for you, hun. You've got the face for it. Me, my cheeks are too chubby, wouldn't work for me. But you, you're like, totally hot."

"The Hulk didn't think so. He beat me up, when all I wanted was love," he said, through tears. He and the Brain held each other and cried. Sheesh, these guys totally had self esteem problems!

"The Hulk was wrong! You're sexy, Brawn! And Brain, I'm sure you're good for something. I mean, you're probably smarter than me, or something. I mean, most people don't really care about smartness, myself included, but someone probably does!"


The two villains looked at each other, and nodded. Through their tears, they decided that I was worthy for a suit of armor. I put it on.


"Well, thanks guys," I said to them, "Let's get together and murder some people sometime."

And with that, I headed towards the battlefields on Hacknor. I walked to the center of the battle, between the two armies. Now, I was about to totally like, just murder all of them, but I figured I may get in trouble in the competition when my competitors hadn't completed their challenge yet (why must they all procrastinate?!). So, instead, I came up with a totally awesome plan!

Luckily for me, I was carrying around a portible Hancock signal. Random, I know. But this time, I made a little modification to it, and then turned it on.



In flew Hancock, landing next to me in between the two armies.

"Which one of y'all turned that searchlight on?" he asked, tapping the portible Hancock Signal.

I steathily pointed at the Golden Army and the Telmarines.

"Why are you pointing at us?" one of the members of the Golden Army asked, "Are you accusing us?" They totally didn't notice my accusation of them!

And so, my plan, like totally worked! Hancock started beating up the armies, and would keep them at bay until the other contestants came around to complete the challenge themselves! I didn't have to worry about him murdering them all since he's only PG-13! Challenge complete!

Er, wait a minute....



There's a box unchecked! That means I didn't do something! Right? I'm not sure. Well, I should probably do it anyways.

"Hey, any of you guys have a cute robot?" I asked the peeps getting beat up.

"I am a cute robot," a female Telmarine mercenary said, stepping forward. "I am a Terminator. A cyborg with a learning computer, a neural net processor."

"Good enough for me," I said with a shrug, and then blewed her up.



List complete! Now, to go grocery shopping...

4 comments:

captain koma said...

Ok you made me laugh.

A bit. Playing the crazy maniacal brain eating both sexed psycho works for you. Less LOL's and play up the camp and you'll have it.

However Summer Glau is not the kind of cute robot I was thinking of.

You did well.

Have a gold star.

Lt. Cmdr Oneida said...

But she is a cute robot. You have to be specific, bunny rabbit cute or Amanda Bynes cute.

I thought that was a pretty good adventure

Mr. Bennet said...

Why couldn't I get that robot?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

She is a cute robot. Looks like that pic is totally ripping off the Borg Queen though,
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