You’d think I’d know not to stand too close the contestants. Always stand near Jon, always. But Jon was on camera, I’d just thrown one some clothes and forgotten my morning caf. I figured hanging outside of camera range would best. Which would be why I was near the contestants, not near Jon. Oh, did I mention it was also as far from Hudson as I could get?
Aww crud, I’m 12 again.
I didn’t like being 12. I got my first job at 12, as a body guard, which might explain my sudden anxiety someone is going to shoot me, or ask me a hard question about nation building or some junk like that. I’ll stick to easier stuff, like judging the contest.
Xavier: I like your shenanigans, very endearing. If only you had a partner in crime…
Erifia: I feel your pain, really I do. No one in their right mind wants to go through puberty again. Excellent use of cooties as a bioweapon, you utilized an asset against the appropriate target.
Noah: Ok, so I don’t feel you pain at being overweight, but I did feel some pain when you stepped on my foot earlier. I didn’t mean to laugh at your pain and discomfort, but I did.
West: Your drawings were so cute, gold star!
Sylar: Well, on the plus side, having the body of a 13 year old boy *is* the best way to fit into all those goth clothes you like. Boobies are overrated anyways.
Kon-El: Wow, you’re going have to bring a lot of flowers and gifts next mother’s day to makeup with Lois after blowing up her apartment.
This was a really hard choice. And Jon, being the big meanie that he is, says I can’t give trophies to all of you. After conferring with the other judges and this totally cute guy who works on crew, we have decided that...
Professor X, you are the winner.
But West, here is an extra gold star, and Noah, here’s some sugar free jello. Great job, everybody.