Sex sells.... and catches mice too.

I was very successful in catching my species of silicon mice. They were crafty little blighters but I did what all best inventors do. I kept it simple. No complicated devices or lasers I worked on the saying. "Don't take the mountain to Mohamad, take Mohamad to the mountain." I'd make the mice come to me.

There are three things any living being will come for. Food, Water, or Sex. And what sells best than all of these is sex.
The great thing is this technique will work on anything. To prove the concept of my plan I had a test. I had to find a live subject to perfect the workings of the bait for my trap. To do this I had to tempt something almost as smart and indestructible as the silicon mouse.

I chose Kon-El.

Ok not as smart as a silicon mouse but he'll do.

As my bait a Synthoid Jessica Alba in the hot tub.

Just about every male on Fire-Island D truned up. Oh and Sylar too.

Conclusion.
This should be as easy as finding a needle in a crack house.

I got the silicon mouse pheromones and set up a cage with an open door. The sexy mouse pheromones were at the end cage. Between the sexy mouse pheromones and the open door was a trap door. When the horny mouse ran into the trap following the sexy mouse pheromones, it would fall down the trap into a vat of acid. The acid would bio-degrade the mice for future use as a liquid fertiliser. I got Greenpeace to approve this method too.

It worked a treat. Best thing is all I have to do is change the pheromone for each species of mouse and I can trap them all. So I came up with the most effective mouse trap. I've already patented the process and have my legal team working on my intellectual property rights. So I should be rolling in money for the rest of my life.

Thanks Jon this challenge has been a treat. Now I can sit back relax and watch a bit of footy.

Xavier & Co get rid of some pests

As Consuela's fingers gently rubbed lotion into my red, swollen buttocks, I thought about the challenge Jon had laid before us. Build a better space mouse trap. A space mouse trap? I have had contact with alien races and their advance technology, of course. I was a kept man of the Empress of the Shi-Ar for a bit. There was actually a surprising amount of free time with that position. I spent much of it looking through their computer databases. That's where I had found this -

- a localized black hole generator. Perfect for rodent removal.

I hurriedly dressed and placed a pillow on my chair. Nepharia's version of Master and Apprentice had been a little rougher on my posterior than I anticipated. Our team was gathered in the conference room. All except Erifia, that is. Apparently she would be on her own this week.

After letting the others make their suggestions and giving them token consideration, I sent Nepharia and Kon-El out on their assignments to acquire need materials for the generator. I spent the rest of my day taking control of the minds of the retired gladiators and having them gut the old folks home of all copper, iron and other elements I would need.

I was a little concerned about one of the retirees. When I tried to take over the mind of Bonegrinder, I couldn't detect much trace of a consciousness. I was able to scan his memory, though. Apparently Mr. Bennet had passed by earlier and experienced a serious bout of flatulence right next to the hapless Bonegrinder. The noxious gas left the poor former gladiator semi-comatose. I was able to restore his mind and then take it over.

Within a few hours, the structure of the black hole generator was complete. Just in time for the Phantom Zone projector Ko-El had obtained and the anti-matter Nepharia acquired to be added. Soon the device was ready.

"Alright Kon, you have the picture?" I asked.

With a wicked grin he flashed me the photo of Granny Goodness in a bikini. I won't ask where he obtained such a horrible image. Forcing back the bile rising in my throat, I nodded in satisfaction.

"As soon as I throw the switch, the localized black hole will form here in cafeteria. You drive the mice here with the photo. They should all be running in terror. Once they near the gravity well, they'll be finished."

"What should I do?" Nepharia asked.

"My shoulders are killing me," I told her with a smile. "They could really use a massage."

She flashed me a look filled with rage and I thought for a moment she was about to cut me down with her lightsaber. After a minute, she laughed and placed her hands on my shoulders. As she started kneading my muscles, I flipped the switch.

The machine started humming loudly. A small swirling pinhole of dark energy formed in the center of the room. A terrible wind started whipping around the cafeteria. The hole grew larger. The roaring wind was so powerful that all the tables and chairs were lifted up into the air and spun wildly around the room, drawing closer and closer to the miniature black hole until they were sucked in.

The crazy, all consuming wind storm grew so rapidly in force that the walls started to buckle. Pieces of floor and ceiling ripped loose, all drawn into the irresistible force of the hole. Nepharia was able to use her Jedi powers to create a bubble around us, protecting us from the tempest.

The doors flew from their hinges into the hole. A flood of mangy, giant sized rats came streaming through the gaping entrance. A laughing Kon-El hovered above them, resisting the fury with his Kryptonian might.

As soon as the last rat was gone, I flipped the switch to turn off the hole. Nothing happened. The walls crumbled and the ceiling collapsed, all being sucked into the hole. And then as quickly as that, the hole vanished. Hurtling loose debris crashed to the shattered ground.

My teammates and I gathered next to the device.

I looked at them and said, "In the immortal words of our esteemed president, mission accomplished."

Mission 3: The Best Laid Plans

They were everywhere! Crawling up my pants leg, scurrying across the floor, sitting by my keyboard...oh, wait..no, that one's okay.

But the rest were crazy! The genetic mouse variant I was assigned was the strangest of all: actual computer mice!

"How did this happen?" I asked, startled by the odd species of mouse before my eyes.

Jon answered, "Well, uh...see, I had a pet....Nobella; You'd have loved him...um, well..." He opened his wallet to show me a picture.


"Well, these won't work as breast implants!" I said to myself as I stared into the horde of these nasty little pointing devices. I had on my surgical gloves with a scalpel in hand, the original plan being to insert the little silicon mice into the breasts of high class female celebrities. Pauly Shore was already signed up for three. It was clear I'd have to go about this another way. I needed a new plan...


If only catching Sylars was the mission. The dumber the creature, the easier to exterminate. But unlike Sylar, these mice can find their way out of a maze.

Then, it hit me. I can shoot them! I've been aching to shoot something since I've started this competition. For gladiators, these intergalactic kind sure are wimpy. I guess they still use the giant Q-Tips in battle. Some of us are more evolved...and some of us are even more evolved than the evolved ones.

I'm talking, of course, about Martians.


Intelligent. Funny-looking. And West-approved. These aliens had the technology I'd need to blast my computer mouses to computer bits.

I decided that I could sneak aboard an Interglactic Gladiator Federation spaceship, fly to Mars, break into their top secret weapons design facility, beat the guards unconscious with a can of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls, grab a prototype blaster, escape back to Hacknor, and start blasting away...or I could try eBay.

A short bidding war later and I had the alien weapon delivered to my door. "Wow, this is such a nice gun," I said examining my new sidearm.

"OOh, Mr. Glasses! That's an awesome vibrator!" Sylar complimented.

"It's a gun," I pointed it at him, ready to shoot.

"Oh, silly billy, you know I can't die from being shot! And look at you...a suit and tie? If you're packing alien heat, like, you totally need some space guy duds!"

He was right, of course. I couldn't go around blasting a blaster in company-issued clothing. I need to dress to kill, the first rule of gun safety class.

As I adjusted my codpiece, I knew these mice wouldn't stand a chance. I began firing away at the little half-mechanical mice. They screeched in a panic and attempted to flee.

"Ha! Go ahead!," I mocked, firing during pauses for breath. "Attempt to flee! You can run, but you can't not be blasted by my awesome laser shooter!"

The mice were dropping like flies. It was like shooting fish in a barrel. Their goose was cooked. Then, things were as quiet as a mouse.

I glanced around. Mouse skeletons littered the battlefield. I perceived it as a great victory glancing around at my vanquished foes.



I had taken care of my mouse variant. I only hoped my team was as effective with their mices. Once we add my super cool alien blaster to their incredible traps, we'll have the ultimate mouse-killing machine. PETA will crumble at our might!

"Move over Garfield, there's a new fat cat in town."

That's when Bob Barker jumped out at me. "Great job, Bennet!" He congratulated me with a nudge at my shoulder. His near-perfect teeth reminded me of a science class skeleton, as did most of the rest of him. He continued, "but you know, you could have just removed their balls."

"You mean spay or neuter?"

"Of course."

Old gladiators...gotta love 'em.

LGS #3: Heeeeeere Mousie, Mousie, Mousie...

I arrived late for the group briefing. Xavier and Kon both looked at me as I stepped in.


”Ah good,” Xavier began; “Now we’re only missing one of the team.”

I coughed and cleared my throat as I took my seat. “Oh,” I piped up, “Erifia told me that she wasn’t going to make it and to start without her.”

Xavier looked at me and squinted. “Nepharia, I sense that you are not telling the entire truth.”

”You’re right,” I answered. “That’s not anywhere near the truth.”

”So where is Erifia?” Kon asked, sitting forward in his chair.

”Well, to be totally honest, I’m not sure,” I answered. “I told her to meet us at Fire Island near the house – but that we weren’t going to be getting started until later today.” I smiled cheerfully.

Xavier covered his eyes with his hand momentarily in what appeared to be despair. Kon actually laughed out loud, but quickly stifled it when Xavier shot him a sharp glance.

Xavier looked at me, not a little unhappy. “Fine,” he said, “Let’s get started then.”

We began a brainstorming session on how to manage the rodent problem at the house. I personally would have loved to just set the entire place on fire, but Xavier reminded me that we were supposed to build a mousetrap to capture them while keeping the house intact. Although I’m not exactly sure that was a stipulation of the challenge.

Kon suggested several great things, of which my favorite was, giant space cats or something to that effect.

”The challenge is to build a trap to capture them, Kon, not have them eaten,” Xavier corrected.

”It’s all semantics,” I said. “Jon wants the mice gone, does it matter how we do it? Besides,” I continued, “I’ve seen some of the traps that were left out there by others, and they didn’t have the intended results either.”

Xavier pulled out the paper with the challenge on it. “It clearly says here ‘Your job is to invent a new space mousetrap, catch all those little buggers that you can!’ “

He looked up at me, shaking the paper in my face. “We will not have you attempting to cheat again this round,” he glared at me. “Especially when it can potentially harm the other contestants – is that clear?”

I was rather surprised by his reaction, but figured I might have been a little too rough with him during our post-challenge #2 festivities.

”Ok, fine,” I said, putting my hands up defensively. “So do you have any ideas?” I asked finally.

”Well, it just so happens that I think we can create a small worm hole that will suck them all in,” he said. “Here are the parts we will need,” and he passed us another paper with a short parts lists.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “So if you had this idea already, why didn’t you bring it up before you shot down ours?”

”Well,” he said, “I wanted you both to think you could intelligently contribute to the conversation.”

I rolled my eyes and looked back at him. “Fine,” I said in disgust. “What is it you want me to get?”

”You can get the anti-matter that we’ll need,” he directed. I shook my head and headed out the door.

Where the hell am I going to find anti-matter? I thought. We haven’t used anti-matter in over a millennium.

Then it occurred to me: the Starship Enterprise uses anti-matter in its engines. Bingo! I would have to go back to the future to obtain a small sample.

Pulling out my portable flux capacitor, I installed it on my ship and set the time and coordinates for the year 2153. While the Enterprise of that era had lower grade antimatter and less of it than later iterations of the ship with the same name, they were also less capable of detecting my activities in their engine room.

After the required pleasantries of meeting the officers, dinner, and a complete tour of the ship, I was showed guest quarters and left alone. I donned a stealth field generator and slipped from my cabin.

After getting lost several times around the ship, I did manage to finally find the engine room. I discovered the anti-matter containment area and figured these humans have never had their fuel siphoned before; otherwise, they would have kept a locked fuel cap.

I managed to get a better part of their anti-matter and place it in a secret panel upon my ship. I returned to my quarters and finished out the night with some sleep.

Then next “day” I went to the bridge to thank my hosts and bid them goodbye when I found the captain rather upset.

Captain Archer was leaning over a panel and tapping the anti-matter gauge. “Gees, guys, we just filled up! I can’t afford to fill up every time you go joy riding about the galaxy.”

I whispered to Commander Tucker, “He seems to be rather unhappy today.”

“Yeah, it seems all this starting and stopping is affecting our mileage,” he mumbled back.

”I believe it is time that I leave,” I responded. “Please let your captain know I appreciate his hospitality.”

I made a quick beeline back to the landing bay and a quick escape before they could figure out where their fuel had gone. Making a quick landing back on Hacknor I met the others at the house on Fire Island.

”Why didn’t you just go to the Hacknor Space Academy?” Kon asked me. “They keep plenty of it there.”

I smacked my head then threw the container to Xavier.

Challenge 3: Rabid Mutant Desert Cat Lady

"Hehe, who needs a trap, when you can chop open skulls," I giggled as I opened the file Koma handed to me, ready to find out what species of mouse I was assigned.

I read the file. Skullus Impenetrus Mousus. This variant mouse has a skull that cannot be penetrated, even by cross-dressing telekinetic serial killers.

"Hey, wait a minute! I'm a cross-dressing telekinetic serial killer! And penetrate, I think that has to do with skull chopping! Oh no!" I thought for a moment, and then stated, "Anyone wanna trade mousies with me?"

"No," they all proclaimed in unison.

"But...I can't kill these mousies! And I'm not smart enough to figure out how to design a mouse trap! Or AM I?" I rubbed my chin in thought.

Thirty murdered guards, one stolen spaceship, and one kidnapped Australian later, I found myself back on Earth, in the Sahara Desert.

"Water, I like, totally need water!" I cried, struggling to walk against the heat.

The Australian handed me a canteen of water. "What did you bring me here for, mate?" he asked.

"Why do you think? We're in the world's biggest kitty litter box, and you're the world's greatest kitty hunter!"

"Blimey! But I hunt crocodiles!"

"Oh well! There's lions in Australia, so you should be able to handle it! Now, find me a kitty, or I'll totally like take you into bed with me!"

And with that, Crocodile Dundee quickly set off, searching for a cat trail. It wasn't long before he found it. Something was buried in the sand; he leaned down, picked up the clump, and sniffed it. It was what we was looking for: kitty poopies.

There was a trail, and we followed it for miles. Eventually, though, I came up to who I was looking for. A figure, crouched over, straining to continue the trail I was following.

"Too much Taco Bell?" I asked the pooing figure.

She snapped her neck towards me, hissed, and leaned back, ready to pounce! It was my old foe, the Cat Lady!

She sprung towards me, attacking! I caught her with my telekinetic super mind trick, and pet her with my sexy mind. "Like, calm down, Cat Lady!"

But she wouldn't. She was like, totally rabid! Hmmm, rabies, I thought, that seems like a cool power to have! I lifted my finger, ready to chop open her skull, and then I noticed the foam dripping down from her mouth. Ewww, that's totally like, unsexy. Plus, I think rabies kills you, and dying might not be so fun either, I guess.

So, instead of murdering Cat Lady and taking her power of rabid feline mouse-lust insanity, I leashed her up, ready to take her back with me, and set off in search of a way to get back to Hacknor. I turned to my friend, Dundee, who had helped me find my trap. First, I had an Australian to cook on the barbie.

One yummy Australian brain, 30 rabies shots, three NASA missions, and one successful attempt at breaking the speed of light later, we were at the Old Gladiator Home.

As we stood outside the Home, Cat Lady pulled at her leash, trying to get inside, and every now and again, turning and trying to eat me, hehe, that silly lady.

"Ok, Cat Lady, go!" I let go off the leash! She pounced on me and tried to tear off my face! Using my super mind trick, I punted her towards the house! Kinda like this, only with my mind instead of a foot!

She crashed into the house through the roof, and I heard her quickly set to crunching on Sylar-proof mice skulls. It sounded like someone was eating Pringles! Hmmm, I wish they had brain-flavored Pringles.

But then, I heard a deathly meow! I quickly ran inside, and found the dead Cat Lady, dead.

"WHHHHHHHHHY?!?! WHHHHHHHHHY ME?!" I wailed like Nancy Kerrigan, crying, and shaking my fist angrily at the sky. But then I looked around, and saw that all the mousies of my assigned variant were dead, AND my one-time nemesis Cat Lady was now out of the picture, AND I only got a little bit of her rabies, since I am eating her rabid brains as I type! Now that's a pretty good day for a Sylar! Only topped by a threesome with a rabid Mohindy and Peter! Hmmm...

Maybe I can make that happen...

Kon-El: Challenge 3

So we're all in a meeting well except for Erifia, Who Neph tricked with the wrong meeting time I thought it was funny so sue me. I hear she's doing something with fishing poles and her sidekick making out with Space Zorro.

Meanwhile all my plans are gettin' shot down by X.


“I can get the phantom Zone Projector and send them all there!"

The mutant considers it. No the rules say we have to build the trap but we can use the projector for parts and some other stuff if you don't mind it shouldn't be hard for one of your powers."

I can't believe it he gave me a freaking shopping list. That and he wants me to find a way to scare them out Arrrgh!


Okay enough drama I'm just gonna do it, I take the teleporter back to Earth. Gettin' the Phantom Zone projector was easy, for some reason no one is in the Fortress but Krypto, and I threw a ball at him, he doesn't care though he did break those statues of Zor- EL and Lara catching the ball. Oops.

Next the Electro magnetic couplings, I go to the JLA satellite, or Watch Tower and start sneaking out those and several others on my list, when freaking Aquaman shows up. Why is he not wearing a shirt?

“What are you doing here Conner?" I can't believe it the dude that talks to fish is giving me attitude.

“I was here um showing fans of yours around." I lie.

“I have fans? I mean of course show me where they are Conner." I tell him to go to the galley he'll be there forever. Any way I get all the components that I could find there next stop Bat cave.

Robin was there " Conner what do you want?"

I give him the list. " No Kon you super guys always just barge in here and take stuff Did I tell you about the time Kara came barged in here and just took info on Batgirl?"

Huh I didn't know Kara swung that way. “Dude I'm your best friend."

“Oh the best friend that danced with the girl I liked that time?" He waves his hands.

“Sigh. Tim I'm just going to take what I want you can help me or not."

He kicks me and I grab his foot, he tries to get his green k out of his belt he discovers my TTK has kept his belt closed. “Damn it Conner you'll have to train all day when you get to back to the Titans this is not over you hear me?"

I put him in the Batmobile's trunk. Sigh. So getting the JLA mad at me? Check.

Ticking off the Teen Titans and my best bud? Double check. After getting the parts Alfred shows up looking for Robin, when he can't find him he gives the cookies he baked to me. How Alfred couldn't hear all the kicking and screaming in the trunk is beyond me. Any way Mmmmmmm cookies

Okay now I need something to scare the little rodents out. Hmmm X already rejected my giant space cat idea, but how about Supercat? I fly to Metropolis. And my cousin Kara. Um I'm really sorry about this Kara, but this is the only pic I could find of you on Hacknor, and it was in HS' room um sorry.

I guess since I slept with his aunt he'd drool over my cousin as revenge.

“Hey Kara? Can I borrow Streaky?"

“No!" She shouts.

“Why not?" I giver her the puppy dog eyes.

“You’ve groped and or had relations with every one of my friends! I have to listen to them complain about you all day! So, no!"

“You just need uglier friends.” I shrug

“Get out!” she demands.


Well that sucks wait I saw something in the JLA satellite that'll scare 'em out. When I returned I told Aquaman he had no fans and while he was crying I got it. When I'm back on Hacknor later. I show my team all the stuff I found.

Xavier smiles. “Good work Kon, but where's the thing to scare the rats out?"

“Here ya go a picture of Granny Goodness."


“That is bad... but not quite what I was thinking..." Xavier responds.

I look at the pic ooops wrong one here she is in a bikini." I show it to Xavier.

"Ahhhh! Kon! Put that away it's disgusting! Okay it'll work!"

Nepharia walks in " AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! What in the name of the Dark Sith lords is that?"

Okay time to see how the rats take it.

Cool, they'd rather jump into the disgusting algae infested swimming pool than look at it. Now I just have to wait for the trap to be built, and chase 'em to it.

Challenge #3 - Ciera's attempt

How did this happen? I confuse Republicans with Lobsters? {see Koma's earlier post} It must be from being cloistered with all these guys during the challenges. I mean, I’m the only girl on the team! Well, Sylar’s kind of girly…since he’s a teenage girl inside of a serial killer’s body. Even worse, it took three challenges for me to realize it! I think Bennett’s idea of turning the mice into breast implants is what tipped me off. Do men think of nothing else?!?!

Frustrated, I decide to go back to my ship for a brief respite. I meander through the Old Gladiator’s Home, saddened by the sight of these crusty mice intermingling with the retired gladiators. The mice haven’t shown any signs of aggression, but they’re obviously disease ridden as some of the old gladiators have already started showing signs of Space Tourrets Syndrome…like the old man in the corner that keeps crying out “Fire phasers!” over and over again interspersed with “Khan!!!”

How the mighty have fallen. And all because of these filthy rodents!

Inside my ship, making sure the doors are firmly locked, my sidekick Kirk greets me.

He brings me a cup of the blueberry tea I like as I curl up on the couch in the ships lounge area.

“How’d the team meeting go?” Kirk asks me.

“Don’t ask,” I reply grouchily.

“Tough challenge, huh?”

“Yeah. I don’t like mice to start with. And these are like the Horta, well, sorta.”

At least the mice don’t leave burn trails behind them…though their waste products are reported to be quite heavy.

“Remember that time with the mouse in the paper bag?”

“Do I ever! If I hadn’t hesitated, I would have had him for sure. Too bad I screamed like a girl when he jumped out at me.”

“Uhm…you are a girl.”

“Thanks so much for noticing!”

“Anyway,” he continued. “You didn’t let discouragement stop you then, did it?”

“Of course not. I kept on until I caught the bugger.” I see his point. Keep on trying to defeat these crusty mice no matter what. I take a deep sip of my tea…

Hmmmmm....

“They have to eat, right? Or drink?”

“Yes,” he answers even as I dart up from my seat and go to the computer consoles. He follows after me and ever worried about liquids near the computers, Kirk takes the cup away from me even as I set it down. “We don’t want another short like last time.”

“Right.” The computers were down for days and we were also stranded as well…although that did have its perks. With one hand, I start my computer database searching for traceable radioactive isotopes, hopefully one that isn’t harmful to the mice or people and call Koma on my comm unit. “Koma?”

There was no reply. I went through the list of the men on my team, and the only reply I got was from HotStuff saying that he was busy and couldn’t talk.

I turn to Kirk and said, “I guess I’m on my own!”

“Looks it.”

“Ok, I need to find out these mice eat. Other than wiring and power couplings.” I link my ships’ computer to the one we used for our initial research. “Hmm, regardless of their silicon base, they’re still mice and they still like to eat cheese. So.” I turn to my small replicator, thinking that I’m about to tax it to the extreme. I type in a recipe for cheese laced with traced amounts of iron and small amounts of Akarian, a rare element that is mildly radioactive and relatively harmless to humans and mice. Even though he’s watching over my shoulder, I explain to Kirk what I’m up to. “What I’m going to do, is feed them this treat, and then lock onto them with my transporter and just beam them out. In the future, we can make a smaller scaled version so a ship isn’t needed.”

“Where are you going to beam them to?” Kirk asked me.

Oh. Great question!

“I don’t know,” I tell him. “I’ll think about that as we’re reconfiguring the transporter.”

“Sounds like fun.”

It usually is…for reasons that have nothing to do with the transporter. But we have a mission so we’re done relatively quickly. Ok, there might have been a little kissing and fooling around… I need to get this place updated – it still looks like something out of the sixties.

Later, after that’s done, I call up an old friend on the comm unit, audio only.

“Picard?”

“Err, hello, Lieutenant Commander,” came the reply. He only ever calls me that when there’s someone listening. He's probably on the Bridge. “I’ll have you transferred to my ready room.” Yep, he was.

I wait a moment, and then he comes back. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this call, Ciera?”

“Jean-Luc…I need a favor.”

I can hear his hesitation across the light-years. “The last favor you asked for required me to have the ship decontaminated.”

“Oh, yeah.” I’d forgotten about that. “ Well, if you don’t put up the proper force fields, you’d have to do that again this time. We’ve got space mice here on Hacknor, in the Old Gladiator’s Home.”

“Space mice? That does sound like a problem. What is it you’d like me to do?”

“Let me beam them to your ship and then you can take them home.”

“Take them home?!”

“Sure, they have to have a planet of origin. Maybe they’re from Janus VI?”

“Ciera…”

“Aw, come on Jean-Luc. Pleeeeze?”

He sighs deeply. “I’ll be there shortly. In the meantime, I’ll confer with Mr. Data as to a possible home world for the mice.”

“Great!” I answer. “Oh and Jean-Luc…speed is of the essence.”

“I’ll see if I can’t get La Forge to coax the engines a little.”

While I wait for him to show up, I pile my replicated cheese into baskets and fine-tune my remote activation device for the transporters.

I have more cheese than I can carry, so I pull out my trusty hover sled and load that up as well.

“I can carry some,” offers Kirk.

“Naw, I have to do this on my own.”

“All right. I’ll at least monitor the transporters, and keep an eye on you.”

“You’re so sweet.” I give him smoking hot kiss before I go. With pleasant thoughts of later, I take off and head back to the Old Gladiator’s home. Talk about mayhem. There’s so much going on, I can’t even describe it all! I head out back, dropping bits of cheese here and there. I am pleased to see that the vermin come running for what is to them a tasty treat. It’s going to work!!

Not half an hour later, my comm badge chirps as Jean-Luc calls me back. “We are in transporter range.”

“Did you find their home world?” I ask as I push buttons on my remote device and begin to beam the first batch up. Here and there I see shimmers of mice disappearing.

“They are originally from a lab based on the far side of Hacknor.”

“Imagine that. So, what are you going to do with them? We can’t leave them here.” I beam up the second batch. More mice shimmer away. “We have sick gladiators already!”

“Err…We’re taking them to Janus VI. We’ve been in contact with the Horta, and they’re glad to take the mice off our hands. It ought to make for an interesting mix.”

“I would think so.” I beam up another batch…and another. I end up beaming away several dozen mice, every one that had eaten our tainted cheese. I see no more in the vicinity and all the cheese is gone. “That’s all I can find, Jean-Luc.”

“Thank goodness,” he replies. “Our holds are quite full.”

“I won’t keep you.”

“I think La Forge will be coaxing even more speed out of the engines,” the captain commented. “And Ciera…you owe me one.”

“I have no doubt. Thanks Jean-Luc.” I sigh. I return to my ship, plop on the couch and wonder aloud. “I wonder how I did?”

“I think you were fabulous,” Kirk comments.

“You always do.” Just as we begin to get cozy Jean-Luc calls me again.

“Ah, Ciera… have a small problem.”

“What is it?” I ask. Kirk must have fixed the visual on the comm, because Jean-Luc is on my screen. I'm a little embarrassed to have him see me with my mussed up hair and red face from smooching.

He doesn’t seem to notice as he answers, “It seems that there is a retired gladiator amongst the mice you beamed up.”

The view on my screen changed. It was the gladiator with Space Tourrets that I saw earlier! He looks happy though.

“He must have eaten some of the cheese...maybe I’ve discovered a cure for Space Tourrets?”

“Perhaps. Shall I bring him back?”

“He’s not causing any problems is he?”

“Not exactly.”

“Sweet. Better drop him off at StarFleet Medical then and have him checked out. Would you be able to do that for me?” I make sure to bat my eyelashes at him.

He sighs. “Now you owe me two.”

“I’m ok with that.” I give him an incorrigible grin. “Thanks Jean-Luc.” I sign off before he can say anymore.

“I wonder what he meant by ‘not exactly’?” Kirk commented, pulling me back to the couch.

“He’s probably chasing the nurses.” I snuggle close to him. “Now, where were we?”

I'm glad I locked the doors.