tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47755270003375168792024-03-14T09:32:39.480-05:00Last Gladiator Standing IIIJon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.comBlogger134125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-53906245490283474972009-03-04T12:19:00.004-06:002009-03-04T16:27:09.509-06:00Wow? Me? Really? Thanks.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/Sa7Ga4r-53I/AAAAAAAAB3k/RSQRMV9i4CU/s1600-h/hrg2.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/Sa7Ga4r-53I/AAAAAAAAB3k/RSQRMV9i4CU/s400/hrg2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309399175912154994" /></a>I won? I have to admit, I'm surprised. Well, not really, but my sponsor wanted me to feign surprise. I told 'em, "I'm not a feigner."<br /><br />Of course I won. I'm Mr. Bennet. I single-handedly ran a secret organization and non-secret paper company all from my menial position of middle management. The other contestants didn't stand a chance against my experience bagging and tagging, not to mention my marskmanship skills. At least Jon leveled the playing field by not allowing me to shoot the fellow contestants. Although, it would have saved us weeks of top quality Internet entertainment.<br /><br />Anyway, I realize it's been a long, long while since I was actually declared the winner, but I decided I should give a short acceptance and thank you speech. Or rather it was decided for me by my sponsor, <a href="http://www.totalsynapse.com">Total Synapse, Inc.</a>, a division of the late <a href="http://www.primatechpaper.org">Primatech Paper Company</a> (Which has applied for a government bailout; I'll keep you posted on that).<br /><br />So, yeah, here I am. I'd like to thank, first and foremost, God, who really had nothing to do with me winning this competition. I mean, if anything, he got in the way by giving my competition so-called "extraordinary" powers. I'm just a mere mortal here. Yet, I still won. Thanks a lot, God.<br /><br />And then there's my mom, who I know if she were alive today she would still not find a reason to take pride in my accomplisments. "Gladiator? You know, the Johnson's kid was a Marine," I can hear her saying.<br /><br />Jon, I have to thank him, even though I really don't want to. It turns out, he's actually a good guy. I'm not a fan of good guys. They get in the way of what needs doing. But as far as good guys go, he's a pretty good one. So, thanks Jon.<br /><br />Thanks to all of you who lost: West, Kon-El, Profesor X, Erifia, Nepharia, Ciera, Hotstuff, Koma, Gyrobo, Merlyn and Sylar. It was really your not winning that won this for me. I couldn't have done it without you.<br /><br />And to all the judges, I thank whoever gave you the wisdom to choose me for immunity when you did. When you picked one of the other guys, well, shame on you. <br /><br />Okay, the music is playing, so I just need to get this quick word in, as per my contract, Total Synapse....<a href="http://www.totalsynapse.com">medical IT services and online marketing</a>. It's a great company, ladies and gentlemen. Send them your money. Thank you, Total Synapse, for all that you've done. <br /><br />And thank you, the little people, and normal-sized viewers, who watched us do some rather silly stuff over all these weeks.Mr. Bennethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16418603606479190390noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-17483957714754838912008-08-05T13:36:00.003-05:002008-08-05T14:18:59.494-05:00Last Gladiator Standing III, the Last Gladiator Standing is...<div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;">The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered and only two remain. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be</span> </div><br /><p></p><br /><p><a href="http://i352.photobucket.com/albums/r333/joninterglad/lgs3anim4.gif"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i352.photobucket.com/albums/r333/joninterglad/lgs3anim4.gif" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /><br /><div align="center"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Y8aa9LtQ-X8BiWF4x0QiYHHncsAy2O1KYCBJIOpu_m2uLRIVy57f-xE3WpllQNvbuWRvIOJauKBJ_GM-FoPDppfrJr_8cmRZIgM9Dpan3VkmZX2Ad6n0IVMNGi0qvxT3eJijxxA5gEJI/s320/bennet.jpg" width="137" /> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVYVkbnHgSAfPX86VtmdQ2E9LHBacbelrbPbvVcm8ARum9GtFq8MLPsGSauDq5FdEj_0hvixVt2xRntN_s_qHfRogfmQPsHtDeKWZMOEZYJ-ytRoelixjEG82fGiMztAKz4cNc87z_Bcs4/s320/sylar.jpg" width="137" /></div><br /><br /><br /><br />This is it folks, the grand finale. We have ourselves a winner.<br /><br />And we’ll let you know who it is right after these messages.<br /><br /><br /><br /><div style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0em; PADDING-RIGHT: 5px; BORDER-TOP: 0em; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; BACKGROUND: url(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v701/Artiki/web_images/hinchey_nav2.gif) white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0em; COLOR: black; PADDING-TOP: 5px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0em">Last Gladiator Standing III was brought to you in part by Budweiser and Clamato.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSISSCXKo_UnmnoOrGHnxnL8RPmClELq9NSD2_MQSxoF5fm2SN5Qi_gSi-sl668y5iwD7RUDCjpY8n2yC1RNF3SyHn_1ARftoN_fxKqWUGL1MPP6CEOPlbWBlWscATaFbexXRCkAxZonQ/s1600-h/budclam.png"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231100233940591538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSISSCXKo_UnmnoOrGHnxnL8RPmClELq9NSD2_MQSxoF5fm2SN5Qi_gSi-sl668y5iwD7RUDCjpY8n2yC1RNF3SyHn_1ARftoN_fxKqWUGL1MPP6CEOPlbWBlWscATaFbexXRCkAxZonQ/s320/budclam.png" border="0" /></a><br />This is really a product out there everyone.<br /><br />I mean can you believe it? Who wants beer mixed with tomato and clam juice? Boy, I sure would like some beers but I usually don’t vomit unless I have a couple cases. Maybe if I just mix a little clam and tomato juice in it…<br /><br />You know, speed things up a little bit.<br /><br />OK, tomato juice I can understand, maybe. Tomato juice is used in bloody Marys so there’s a precedent there. Plus it’s healthy (you know, unless you’re in the middle of a salmonella outbreak), so maybe you’re thinking you’re getting some vitamins with your booze. That’s good right?<br /><br />But clam juice? Who decided that <em>clam juice</em> was a tasty beverage? You don’t know what you’re getting in that clam juice either. Is it all clam or did some other bottom feeder get into the mix? Was it cooked? Who knows, it sounds like a crap shoot to me.<br /><br />Emphasis on crap, am I right, folks?<br /><br />But seriously.<br /><br />Now that people are drinking clamato juice, you know because its two great tastes that taste great together, crabapple just takes on a whole new meaning. I wonder what other great flavors are out there just waiting to be discovered. Shellentil juice sounds good. Anyone want some sharkpea? How about floundercorn juice?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSISSCXKo_UnmnoOrGHnxnL8RPmClELq9NSD2_MQSxoF5fm2SN5Qi_gSi-sl668y5iwD7RUDCjpY8n2yC1RNF3SyHn_1ARftoN_fxKqWUGL1MPP6CEOPlbWBlWscATaFbexXRCkAxZonQ/s1600-h/budclam.png"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231100233940591538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSISSCXKo_UnmnoOrGHnxnL8RPmClELq9NSD2_MQSxoF5fm2SN5Qi_gSi-sl668y5iwD7RUDCjpY8n2yC1RNF3SyHn_1ARftoN_fxKqWUGL1MPP6CEOPlbWBlWscATaFbexXRCkAxZonQ/s320/budclam.png" border="0" /></a><br />Budweiser and Clamato. Mmm mmm good.</div><br /><p></span></p><br />OK, we’re back folks. Let’s declare our winner. Our two contestants were Mr. Bennet and Sylar, two strong contestants who fought to the top of the proverbial mountain, each one willing to do what it takes to be the king of that mountain. Or queen, as it were. Yeah, I used that joke again, I went there.<br /><br />Let’s take a look at the contestants shall we? Here’s the brain eating power getter himself, Sylar:<br /><br /><br /><table cellspacing="2" cellpadding="2" border="2"><br /><tbody><br /><tr><br /><td><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAgR-WCP74Swqf3p96DskWA-SlQS1rGpFqlhex3lfs7y5ZzWjzxG93EyfTPga_l4xuQqcYTawx2xs8TV4E64sz1KvAQL0MOZKLwMBIt6s9SbcSeVrhxpI81uEwBbBF-I6DkAGNAQpihrA/s1600-h/sylarme.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229507105690353810" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAgR-WCP74Swqf3p96DskWA-SlQS1rGpFqlhex3lfs7y5ZzWjzxG93EyfTPga_l4xuQqcYTawx2xs8TV4E64sz1KvAQL0MOZKLwMBIt6s9SbcSeVrhxpI81uEwBbBF-I6DkAGNAQpihrA/s320/sylarme.jpg" border="0" /></a>"Ah-ha!" I said as I jumped out of the shadows, revealing myself in a cat-like pose.<br /><br />"Sylar!" all three of them exclaimed.<br /><br />"Activate, cleavage generation powers!" I yelled frustratingly as I pounded on my boobless chest. I looked up and saw that the three of them were staring at me, so I stammered out, "I'll be taking all of your scavenger hunt items now!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNUf9evMGMLZDHC-iW5j98PO2D27AvnFfvaSiu_rBkhRTa7JCIVVTVJd2drGLF1RNck8a7eSRAvKSrIgeEeDehJyXkftYh0I2gHOb9QbLiAy7o0LIYrMCZVnDaQPlzCXFcP2UV9z3zfqI/s1600-h/thunder.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226184615016716194" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNUf9evMGMLZDHC-iW5j98PO2D27AvnFfvaSiu_rBkhRTa7JCIVVTVJd2drGLF1RNck8a7eSRAvKSrIgeEeDehJyXkftYh0I2gHOb9QbLiAy7o0LIYrMCZVnDaQPlzCXFcP2UV9z3zfqI/s320/thunder.jpg" border="0" /></a>I sat with my new friend, the gladiator, Thunder Thighs, and painted my toe nails with her.<br /><br />"Omigod, that shade of pink looks like, soooo good on you!" I said to Thunder Thighs.<br /><br />"Thanks, Sylar. I hope it impresses Jon."<br /><br />"Jon the Introglockenspeil?"<br /><br />"Yes, I've got a thing for him. I want to wrap my thunderous thighs around him. He's one sexy gladiator."<br /><br />And so, my plan, like totally worked! Hancock started beating up the armies, and would keep them at bay until the other contestants came around to complete the challenge themselves! I didn't have to worry about him murdering them all since he's only PG-13! Challenge complete!<br /><br />Er, wait a minute....<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnKoa2i227E70wVx0_kgl380k7w1XNJTCYXinKBoLX2TUdJgIe0I52abPR_gLi5Rw8h__sE7ECcq_eJ-o4UNXlaGTetaJZunHJXod2OTT2X-51kseNZ_47G4VPOqzQqA4yJMggOaAcUws/s1600-h/Pirate_Cheerleader_Boy_by_satat.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5219169509525133490" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnKoa2i227E70wVx0_kgl380k7w1XNJTCYXinKBoLX2TUdJgIe0I52abPR_gLi5Rw8h__sE7ECcq_eJ-o4UNXlaGTetaJZunHJXod2OTT2X-51kseNZ_47G4VPOqzQqA4yJMggOaAcUws/s320/Pirate_Cheerleader_Boy_by_satat.jpg" border="0" /></a>I got into uniform, and damn did my 13 year old body look sexy. Proceeding on, I moved to the gym, where I was greeted by the coach.<br /><br />"Um, you know, there are <i>male</i> cheerleading uniforms, too, right?" she asked.<br /><br />"Oh, I know. But those don't do justice to my sexiness."<br /><br />In the stands sat the hot boy from my class. He looked down at me and laughed. "Hey everyone, look! It's Gabriel <b>Gay</b>!" Everyone laughed at his like, totally awesome insult!<br /><br />I fired back a comeback. "Oh yeah, well, you're like, totally hot!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLxT0I-5nYwxo4pMXnlycnPs8910O5oawiV0DhBFa4NKEbeAZ0phYH4jXxyOsanoPar2C8vnWrZaJK0OMx0juNokzyCM-AnsFbZDew6cW58yYvt3fRKUEQQSmg71-85yrHJ6MGzpmMswk/s1600-h/challengelist2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224115784135751026" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="316" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLxT0I-5nYwxo4pMXnlycnPs8910O5oawiV0DhBFa4NKEbeAZ0phYH4jXxyOsanoPar2C8vnWrZaJK0OMx0juNokzyCM-AnsFbZDew6cW58yYvt3fRKUEQQSmg71-85yrHJ6MGzpmMswk/s400/challengelist2.jpg" width="378" border="0" /></a><br /><br />There's a box unchecked! That means I didn't do something! Right? I'm not sure. Well, I should probably do it anyways.<br /><br />"Hey, any of you guys have a cute robot?" I asked the peeps getting beat up.<br /><br />"I <i>am</i> a cute robot," a female Telmarine mercenary said, stepping forward. "I am a Terminator. A cyborg with a learning computer, a neural net processor."<br /><br />"Good enough for me," I said with a shrug, and then blewed her up.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKH4qA_Psg3dEp7-4xnXb8DOtLTPGg5Yrd1Qhrml-ZvEf0SZnpoJV7v0Y4MwUckBQQKLum5FkUvXAwQglmqe8mKxKbhzY_g4XSTu2ASZXiQ217V_GEdOezv6070SiK630vMX_Z9WmacLA/s1600-h/exploded.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224121568501504866" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKH4qA_Psg3dEp7-4xnXb8DOtLTPGg5Yrd1Qhrml-ZvEf0SZnpoJV7v0Y4MwUckBQQKLum5FkUvXAwQglmqe8mKxKbhzY_g4XSTu2ASZXiQ217V_GEdOezv6070SiK630vMX_Z9WmacLA/s400/exploded.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />List complete! Now, to go grocery shopping...<br /></p></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />That was Sylar everyone, give him (er, her?) a hand. We’ll be right back after this short break.<br /><div style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0em; PADDING-RIGHT: 5px; BORDER-TOP: 0em; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; BACKGROUND: url(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v701/Artiki/web_images/hinchey_nav2.gif) white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0em; COLOR: black; PADDING-TOP: 5px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0em">Last Gladiator Standing III was brought to you in part by the Boba Femmes.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsdXVF4xLEifgdkNTMGXqjbp33PYRsC3joRK6WvCq0YIlW2KAYDu3P-yhznjS4-xKngUQC3skcfe0PBrShIJwtJjFGjUYifiYb7L1no7JZf_GcDREOwEJJT_CeCHeGIUOyOBkXO9eC4XU/s1600-h/fett1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230996870051619730" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsdXVF4xLEifgdkNTMGXqjbp33PYRsC3joRK6WvCq0YIlW2KAYDu3P-yhznjS4-xKngUQC3skcfe0PBrShIJwtJjFGjUYifiYb7L1no7JZf_GcDREOwEJJT_CeCHeGIUOyOBkXO9eC4XU/s320/fett1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />The Boba Femmes are the galaxy’s deadliest and sexiest mercenary force and they’re open for business.<br /><br />Need a hot chick in armor to lay down dome heavy duty firepower? Call the Boba Femmes.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrXNiSfeu-Vb4I9Z3Ja13rGo_JMB_1VN5AmSUalRIltaHLcbd99MLjZkzxgBkFm5d0AxJAbtMURFe4HewTH_SYfrMaBsEVUQDI4zJntMsxlyAWN82pBCB-WzLQK8O493S8QziuQI4HOQA/s1600-h/fett2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230996873424275874" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrXNiSfeu-Vb4I9Z3Ja13rGo_JMB_1VN5AmSUalRIltaHLcbd99MLjZkzxgBkFm5d0AxJAbtMURFe4HewTH_SYfrMaBsEVUQDI4zJntMsxlyAWN82pBCB-WzLQK8O493S8QziuQI4HOQA/s320/fett2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Looking for someone to fight a dirty battle for you and look good doing it? Call the Boba Femmes.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2r6wsCM1fBC57AkHaMbNS18WrPwRXL0zW4a0C0JyYaZGbOiMfF31Ls5XS85MXwO72XUikcT5BVYsmHBik7vcQ25k4SzT-_wYDmUdTt2y-3h34PY0f0CIf-uLs8tRsc_GkYcsSezYdmcU/s1600-h/fett3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230996873852689250" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2r6wsCM1fBC57AkHaMbNS18WrPwRXL0zW4a0C0JyYaZGbOiMfF31Ls5XS85MXwO72XUikcT5BVYsmHBik7vcQ25k4SzT-_wYDmUdTt2y-3h34PY0f0CIf-uLs8tRsc_GkYcsSezYdmcU/s320/fett3.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Looking for a little action? Call the Boba Femmes.<br /><br />Call the Boba Femmes today.<br /><br /></div><br /><p></span></p><br /><br />You know, you wouldn’t think that someone without any powers would last so long competing here, yet that’s what Bennet did. Unless you consider the ability to tell long, endless stories about the Kraft process a power. Here’s Bennet:<br /><br /><table cellspacing="2" cellpadding="2" border="2"><br /><tbody><br /><tr><br /><td><br /><p>"Sorry," I smiled and waved in an attempt to life their spirits. Then there spirits were indeed raised. I turned to see Prince standing behind me with his magical guitar.<br /><br />"Prince!" I exclaimed.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJSCfknn63I/AAAAAAAAA-E/2AGSLeZFw-Y/s1600-h/060531_prince_vlarg_11a.widec.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229948546201414514" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJSCfknn63I/AAAAAAAAA-E/2AGSLeZFw-Y/s400/060531_prince_vlarg_11a.widec.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />"Someone asked for a miracle," he replied, then did a quick dance step and smashed his symboled guitar into the thick glass chamber. It broke into thousands of pieces and Flash and the gang escaped. We ran out of Ming's palace to safety.<br /><br />There I was met by all the former contestants. They were all enthusiastic to see Flash Gordon and Queen alive and well.<br /><br />Bone Grinder made his way up to the podium.<br /><br /><i>Oh, brother...</i><br /><br />"Thank you," he began. "I don't fight freedom because it's easy. I fight freedom because my dad left when I was seven. I never drank any of that Sprite crap, though. I'm a 7-Up guy, always been one. Sometimes I drink water, but that's just because it's easily accessible. I had to build my own well once. It was during the drought of ought three. Vultures were disintegrating in mid-air from the heat. I got myself a stick and started digging. I almost made it to China, which is pretty good considering I wasn't on Earth at the time. But there was no reason I couldn't hold hands with the woman I loved. The church frowned on it, but that's their problem. I say, if you spend a buck seventy on a couple of burgers and the drive in, you're entitled to some hand action...."<br /><br />A couple of days later, he finished and the challenge finally came to an end.<br /><br />I clicked to the next slide.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SHaxwrFhhUI/AAAAAAAAA7E/gOf7nNUYeTw/s1600-h/slide2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221556267740398914" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 360px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 180px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="189" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SHaxwrFhhUI/AAAAAAAAA7E/gOf7nNUYeTw/s400/slide2.jpg" width="367" border="0" /></a><br />"By simply replacing the word glasses with gladiator, I become the Horn-Rimmed Gladiator. It's perfect, and has rather satanic connotations, a must for capturing that elusive caveman demographic."<br /><br />I continued on with my presentation...<br /><br />"With the signature glasses comes the possibility for endless merchandising. Everything not yet wearing horn-rimmed glasses can be produced by us with the vision-augmenting, and stylish, spectacles, then sold with an enormously high markup to the general masses."<br /><br />"How high of a markup?" the VP asked.<br /><br />"Umm...upwards of seventeen hundred percent," I answered quickly doing no math in my head.<br /><br />J'onn seemed impressed. I continued on to the next slide.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SHatbCEigkI/AAAAAAAAA6c/fy3da_V3bxM/s1600-h/baby.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221551497906651714" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="206" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SHatbCEigkI/AAAAAAAAA6c/fy3da_V3bxM/s400/baby.jpg" width="390" border="0" /></a><br />"Horn-rim your little gladiator."<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SHatkBfq4WI/AAAAAAAAA6k/MH9pvaUudoU/s1600-h/jello.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5221551652370833762" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="198" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SHatkBfq4WI/AAAAAAAAA6k/MH9pvaUudoU/s400/jello.jpg" width="372" border="0" /></a><br />"Horn-Rimmed Gelatin."<br /><br />"Yes, yes. That is a good plan. But I feel we need some more products. Man cannot live by bread alone, ya know. Say...could we put some of those glasses on bread?"<br /><br />I clicked on to the next slide.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SGRfHzy1qRI/AAAAAAAAA4c/be1qVXAxMhM/s1600-h/bennetsword.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5216398856169040146" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SGRfHzy1qRI/AAAAAAAAA4c/be1qVXAxMhM/s320/bennetsword.jpg" border="0" /></a>"I am Gavin MacLeod of the clan MacLeod," I said withdrawing my katana. "There can be only one!" With one quick swipe, followed by a few hacks and a dice, I decapitated the acne-ridden busboy.<br /><br />Sylar giggled as he chased after the rolling head.<br /><br />Professor Xavier rolled over to me. "That's just great, Bennet!" He sounded annoyed. "You realize I have the underwhelming honor of being the doctor on this sentient ship, and you've just caused me hours of paper work!"<br /></p></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br />Mr. Bennet, everybody.<br /><br />We’ll be right back to announce the winner right after these important messages.<br /><br /><div style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0em; PADDING-RIGHT: 5px; BORDER-TOP: 0em; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; BACKGROUND: url(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v701/Artiki/web_images/hinchey_nav2.gif) white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0em; COLOR: black; PADDING-TOP: 5px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0em">Viking Ted – Freelance Space Mechanic coming this fall on the Intergalactic Gladiator Network!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTB00OtGIfUyEAV_KygNoY0u4hNhpBG6q6oShMkGx0Gk1gkuZZr41KNrdzFqnSCUt3e5nIOZAOlo1IbAHKGTKOgSrP_CXvQeZ4sznQVvEs0IG2P-c4dDHU_KV1We6XpBzBrOj75CH94Oua/s320/ted003.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230996870051619730" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTB00OtGIfUyEAV_KygNoY0u4hNhpBG6q6oShMkGx0Gk1gkuZZr41KNrdzFqnSCUt3e5nIOZAOlo1IbAHKGTKOgSrP_CXvQeZ4sznQVvEs0IG2P-c4dDHU_KV1We6XpBzBrOj75CH94Oua/s320/ted003.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /></div><br /><p></span></p><br /><br />Welcome back everybody to the Last Gladiator Standing III grand finale. I know everyone is excited to see who the winner is, but let’s take a moment to look behind the scenes of this year’s competition. Here’s the main control room where hundreds of technicians work endless hours (Thanks to indentured servitude, ha ha!) to deliver the exciting competition to you. Wave hello, fellas!<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7fGFWH1TFQQh1DBP8RpR0mXk5R5FEH1NJNq4U7sHy5PmEN4SxarOrwFdlQEAR-PKPWqqPHMaqtS58vJMgGWK0hCs30224bv8jGBKHbzsZRhCfQsj8xYCx9gEaU8U6f5RNItc6Wi7cyt8/s1600-h/control+room.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231100239701610178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7fGFWH1TFQQh1DBP8RpR0mXk5R5FEH1NJNq4U7sHy5PmEN4SxarOrwFdlQEAR-PKPWqqPHMaqtS58vJMgGWK0hCs30224bv8jGBKHbzsZRhCfQsj8xYCx9gEaU8U6f5RNItc6Wi7cyt8/s320/control+room.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />That’s great. We’d also like to take this opportunity to thank this year’s group of judges. Give a great big hand to:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinJyerdsT4XgJrDuxdj09U-joS0t90dGB0tcM_ED6MX2EbnbOBEZG75UCqpzG9lw7oMj18Go-7AH-tYvfo6ymuxIe4RVe_4U2P-PegL00pf2CpYOuENrUxcFHqVttv4PHTv1jminAevu0/s1600-h/rania.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231101887689174882" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinJyerdsT4XgJrDuxdj09U-joS0t90dGB0tcM_ED6MX2EbnbOBEZG75UCqpzG9lw7oMj18Go-7AH-tYvfo6ymuxIe4RVe_4U2P-PegL00pf2CpYOuENrUxcFHqVttv4PHTv1jminAevu0/s320/rania.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Commander Oneida!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjTfJP7hSAGIwTCScCW2xcDQEcEAW1TQgFzbioGnT9inTP8QYCh3GpUjXv9GMQDmkgszMLPZO58l5R8dBpNtTMEQh56ijj5z1HC_45_OPTPs_nI_I6M1jMNAP2JdiQWVwI8UBgXoMogi8/s320/henchy.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjTfJP7hSAGIwTCScCW2xcDQEcEAW1TQgFzbioGnT9inTP8QYCh3GpUjXv9GMQDmkgszMLPZO58l5R8dBpNtTMEQh56ijj5z1HC_45_OPTPs_nI_I6M1jMNAP2JdiQWVwI8UBgXoMogi8/s320/henchy.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />The Henchman!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmfUSCRurg_UIMVQKR-qaPR17kjHbsDtCBo6_JgXPRK0AMwchQvOG83-X56OysmI1TOwLvs3lsDFArYFquvi6gat04s1ufrQMx4ga7ifwzN5YWJ6ZLSsdmUe-JUU7xHZa9y5U_hCf9DWk/s1600-h/simon.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231102465437662146" style="WIDTH: 183px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 177px" height="177" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmfUSCRurg_UIMVQKR-qaPR17kjHbsDtCBo6_JgXPRK0AMwchQvOG83-X56OysmI1TOwLvs3lsDFArYFquvi6gat04s1ufrQMx4ga7ifwzN5YWJ6ZLSsdmUe-JUU7xHZa9y5U_hCf9DWk/s320/simon.jpg" width="207" border="0" /></a><br />Simon! Booo! Ha ha, just kidding Simon!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdNdas3xFiAGqaBKiPFzhdlXMqd1rksx6_TfxEx7yvajfX1K9x0xPB6V2LmKZGOwVBtwW8lf84_x6IrZAXJSrvsQrGQJFs1dIKcWYdXX45A_yWhuvXG4zmsVTPIoDaMXuM_6JnEbEZYcU/s1600-h/bfoot.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231102950998160994" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdNdas3xFiAGqaBKiPFzhdlXMqd1rksx6_TfxEx7yvajfX1K9x0xPB6V2LmKZGOwVBtwW8lf84_x6IrZAXJSrvsQrGQJFs1dIKcWYdXX45A_yWhuvXG4zmsVTPIoDaMXuM_6JnEbEZYcU/s320/bfoot.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Blockade Boy!<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJRx2_aFb9I/AAAAAAAAA90/3COPOaY4NEE/s320/koma-profile.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJRx2_aFb9I/AAAAAAAAA90/3COPOaY4NEE/s320/koma-profile.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />And (uh… I guess) Captain Koma!<br /><br />Thanks everyone, you’re the best. You’re all the best!<br /><br />And now, for the moment you’ve been waiting for.<br /><br />The winner of Last Gladiator Standing III and a personally signed copy of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1413718248/002-4846773-4245647?v=glance&n=283155">Stories of the Unexpected</a> is<br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/111/1134/1600/unexpected.0.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/111/1134/1600/unexpected.0.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />None other than...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The person who you will see named below...<br /><br /><br /><br />Who is...<br /><br /><br /><br />none...<br /><br /><br /><br />other...<br /><br /><br /><br />than...<br /><br /><br />Mr. Bennet!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Y8aa9LtQ-X8BiWF4x0QiYHHncsAy2O1KYCBJIOpu_m2uLRIVy57f-xE3WpllQNvbuWRvIOJauKBJ_GM-FoPDppfrJr_8cmRZIgM9Dpan3VkmZX2Ad6n0IVMNGi0qvxT3eJijxxA5gEJI/s320/bennet.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Y8aa9LtQ-X8BiWF4x0QiYHHncsAy2O1KYCBJIOpu_m2uLRIVy57f-xE3WpllQNvbuWRvIOJauKBJ_GM-FoPDppfrJr_8cmRZIgM9Dpan3VkmZX2Ad6n0IVMNGi0qvxT3eJijxxA5gEJI/s320/bennet.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Congratulations, Mr. Bennet, you are the Last Gladiator Standing.Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-5424610989725032132008-08-04T21:45:00.002-05:002008-08-04T22:12:04.000-05:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgubaVYLLpAH2NIkvS2igzb0yEfoYe06GgA7mLKEyGFFffThUz0fO9h_bLPW7U9yKd7_dNxK_lRn9k2cAiPk8_lN7qV6ZzmicodjQpFPAYy03tyjcFFCG0hbnd7be8lNZUQUVX2xHJb7tsj/s1600-h/vote.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgubaVYLLpAH2NIkvS2igzb0yEfoYe06GgA7mLKEyGFFffThUz0fO9h_bLPW7U9yKd7_dNxK_lRn9k2cAiPk8_lN7qV6ZzmicodjQpFPAYy03tyjcFFCG0hbnd7be8lNZUQUVX2xHJb7tsj/s320/vote.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5230865675086245762" /></a><br /><br />One for Bennet... <br /><br />One for Sylar...<br /><br />Two for Bennet...<br /><br />Two for Sylar...<br /><br />Three for Sylar...<br /><br />Four for Sylar...<br /><br />Three for Bennet...<br /><br />F--<br /><br />Oh carp, I dropped the jelly beans. <br /><br />I have to do a recount.Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-69284443689639116862008-08-03T10:55:00.002-05:002008-08-03T10:57:24.312-05:00<div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;">The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered and only two remain. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be</span> </div><br /><p></p><br /><p><a href="http://i352.photobucket.com/albums/r333/joninterglad/lgs3anim4.gif"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://i352.photobucket.com/albums/r333/joninterglad/lgs3anim4.gif" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /><br /><div align="center"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Y8aa9LtQ-X8BiWF4x0QiYHHncsAy2O1KYCBJIOpu_m2uLRIVy57f-xE3WpllQNvbuWRvIOJauKBJ_GM-FoPDppfrJr_8cmRZIgM9Dpan3VkmZX2Ad6n0IVMNGi0qvxT3eJijxxA5gEJI/s320/bennet.jpg" width="137" /> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVYVkbnHgSAfPX86VtmdQ2E9LHBacbelrbPbvVcm8ARum9GtFq8MLPsGSauDq5FdEj_0hvixVt2xRntN_s_qHfRogfmQPsHtDeKWZMOEZYJ-ytRoelixjEG82fGiMztAKz4cNc87z_Bcs4/s320/sylar.jpg" width="137" /></div><br /><br /><br />This is it, ladies and gentlemen. The final vote. Who will win, who will be Last Gladiator Standing? <br /><br />All contestants and judges send me your final vote. The winner will be announced Monday night.Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-15466890333132479922008-08-02T11:02:00.005-05:002008-09-03T18:20:06.507-05:00The Final Mission: Princes of the UniverseWell, here I was on the space shuttle about to take off to do that stupid challenge that stupid Sylar drew from the stupid hat. I would much rather be on a fun scavenger hunt, but it seems I have to be rescuing Queen from some emperor guy. I don't see the point with Freddie Mercury gone. I doubt Flash Gordon has the same homo-erotic appeal.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJRx2_aFb9I/AAAAAAAAA90/3COPOaY4NEE/s1600-h/koma-profile.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJRx2_aFb9I/AAAAAAAAA90/3COPOaY4NEE/s320/koma-profile.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229930256831705042" /></a>"Just wait 'til you see him swing a sword," Captain Koma said.<br /><br />"What are <b><i>you</i></b> doing here? Come to sabotage my efforts?"<br /><br />He replied, "You don't need any help in that department. I just wanted to make sure there would be no more thong thievery going on. Times are tough in Australia; I've got a limited supply. Last Gladiator Standing was my ticket to thong heaven, but <i><b>somebody</b></i> ruined that dream."<br /><br />"Oh, yeah...must suck. See you later." I was hoping he would simply exit the shuttle and leave the awkward moment behind us. Instead, he followed me all the way to Planet Mongo, something about a rendevouz with a Hawkman.<br /><br />As I departed the shuttle planetside, I waved farewell to Koma. He ignored me as he embraced a bulky winged fellow with a large battle mace.<br /><br />"Get your star maps! Star maps, right here!" A familiar voice called out, enticing me to buy his product.<br /><br />"Professor, why are you here?"<br /><br />"Oh, trying to save up for a new appendix. Care to buy a Planet Mongo star map?"<br /><br />I made the transaction with him and had a full color detailed map of the entire planet. "Thanks, Charles. About your appendix, though. You realize they aren't necessary, right?"<br /><br />"What do you mean not necessary?"<br /><br />"They don't have a function. Having it removed doesn't put you in any physical harm."<br /><br />"Oh, well...um, yeah I knew that," he replied sheepishly.<br /><br />I picked up on his lie and said, "Wait a minute! You didn't know about the appendix. That means...you're not a real doctor!"<br /><br />"It's just a Ph.D." he shouted. "Why must everyone assume that requires a knowledge of human anatomy. I know where the important parts are."<br /><br />"Yeah, only because you've lost control over them."<br /><br />He rolled off angrily mumbling about a paraplegic's right to choose.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJSC9pJvnCI/AAAAAAAAA-M/wyvrcruP0Yo/s1600-h/mongo_map.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJSC9pJvnCI/AAAAAAAAA-M/wyvrcruP0Yo/s400/mongo_map.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229949062814342178" /></a><br />I consulted my newly acquired map and headed for Mingo City. Surely that would be where I would find this Emperor Ming lunatic.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJR5UsjyFeI/AAAAAAAAA98/Vm_O8tAaefo/s1600-h/ming.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJR5UsjyFeI/AAAAAAAAA98/Vm_O8tAaefo/s320/ming.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229938463749576162" /></a><br />"My name isn't Shirley," the crazy-eyebrowed emperor said as I entered his throne room.<br /><br />"Well, in that case," I replied, "my name isn't Noah." I quickly reached for my pistol, but West flew in and kicked it out my hand.<br /><br />"West?" I asked confused. "What are you doing here?"<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJSD0LQHh3I/AAAAAAAAA-U/RHQhrxVNKNs/s1600-h/nick-dagosto-heroes-2.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJSD0LQHh3I/AAAAAAAAA-U/RHQhrxVNKNs/s320/nick-dagosto-heroes-2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229949999680817010" /></a>"Hey, Mr. B!" He waved at me dorkishly. "I'm training to be a Hawkman!"<br /><br />"Well,for now, can you leave me alone? I'm trying to save Queen and Flash Gordon from this merciless Ming man."<br /><br />"Oh, sorry about that." West picked my gun off the floor and tossed it at me. He turned and flew back out the window.<br /><br />"Ah, ha!" I said with my gun pulled on Ming. <br /><br />He quickly grabbed Merlyn Gabriel out from behind his throne and held her in front of him with a death ray to her head. "Not so fast, Mr. Bennet. Put down your gun or Merlyn gets it."<br /><br />"Who?"<br /><br />"This lady I'm holding the gun on."<br /><br />"Well, I figured out that part. I just don't really know who she is. Got any more damsels in distress?"<br /><br />He tossed Merlyn to the side who quickly got up and ran away. Then, he pulled Ciera out from his throne and put his death ray to her head.<br /><br />"Oh, no! Not Ciera!" I exclaimed. <br /><br />"Good!" Ming grinned. "The Jedi damsels were a bit more difficult to kidnap. Now, put down the gun."<br /><br />"First show me Flash Gordon and Queen," I commanded.<br /><br />"You're in no position to be making orders," Ming replied as Kon-El walked out with a tray of hors d'oeuvres.<br /><br />I grabbed him quickly and put my gun on his neck. "Now, Ming, you show me the band or Wonder Boy here gets it."<br /><br />Ming gasped. "Not my hunky servant!" <br /><br />Kon was about to explain how he's impervious to bullets, but Ming already hit some controls on his wrist band. A nearby wall slid open to reveal Brian May, Roger Taylor and Flash Gordon.<br /><br />"Now, Kon," I said, "I want you to get Ciera out of here." He flew off with her out a window. <br /><br />I aimed my gun at Ming. He aimed his death ray at me.<br /><br />"Well, looks like we've got ourselves a showdown," I commented.<br /><br />"Indubitably," he replied.<br /><br />"Green PopTarts are not necessarily healthy nor evil," Gyrobo said as he buzzed in and out of the room.<br /><br />Ming fired his death ray gun as I fired my death non-ray gun.<br /><br />My bullet struck him in his goatee, which fell limply to the floor. "No!" he gasped attempting to catch the falling hairs.<br /><br />His death ray sent glowing circle rings around me. I felt a tingly sensation in my feet, and then it stopped.<br /><br />"Darn this theoretical technology!" he said throwing his death ray gun to the side. He quickly scooped up his discarded facial hair and made a run for the door. On his way out, he hit a button, causing gas to enter into the room where the band was awaiting their rescue.<br /><br />"Umm, guys," I said through the thick glass. "If you can hear me, I don't think there's any chance for your survival. I know it must not be what you want to hear, but barring some miracle, I just don't have a way to break through this glass."<br /><br />Inside, the band members began gasping for breath. Eyes were bulging and death was nearing.<br /><br />"Sorry," I smiled and waved in an attempt to lift their spirits. Then there spirits were indeed raised. I turned to see Prince standing behind me with his magical guitar.<br /><br />"Prince!" I exclaimed.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJSCfknn63I/AAAAAAAAA-E/2AGSLeZFw-Y/s1600-h/060531_prince_vlarg_11a.widec.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJSCfknn63I/AAAAAAAAA-E/2AGSLeZFw-Y/s400/060531_prince_vlarg_11a.widec.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229948546201414514" /></a><br />"Someone asked for a miracle," he replied, then did a quick dance step and smashed his symboled guitar into the thick glass chamber. It broke into thousands of pieces and Flash and the gang escaped. We ran out of Ming's palace to safety. <br /><br />There I was met by all the former contestants. They were all enthusiastic to see Flash Gordon and Queen alive and well.<br /><br />Koma patted Flash on the back. "Hey there, Speed Gordon. How about a couple of drinks later, mate?"<br /><br />Erifia and Nepharia both pushed Koma out of the way and fought over Flash's autograph. <br /><br />"Sign my lekkus!" Erifia shouted. <br /><br />"Sign these!" Nepharia exclaimed. I think she won.<br /><br />Hotstuff approached with a guitar in hand. "So are we going to stand around here all day or are we going to jam out?" <br /><br />Flash started singing "We Are The Champions". Queen, Hotstuff and Prince joined in. The day ended with a glorious dance number as Professor Xavier sat in his wheelchair feeling of where his appendix used to be.Mr. Bennethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16418603606479190390noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-7203563187113776902008-08-01T07:04:00.006-05:002008-08-01T07:24:20.160-05:00A Scavenging We Will Go<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxvTEoXpEDKh-6Qxmma6j-4Nz2jhgVX4JUDIqLhJ95TBijCngt1AtJgqCh6aBJ4boKX6WagjtrSlmnDIhp2UTBWAxOG2k5x2jM1Zel3huRtZjaPxvmXvepxRESV8XVoUzMKLi0VUrYRe8/s1600-h/nursesylafix.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxvTEoXpEDKh-6Qxmma6j-4Nz2jhgVX4JUDIqLhJ95TBijCngt1AtJgqCh6aBJ4boKX6WagjtrSlmnDIhp2UTBWAxOG2k5x2jM1Zel3huRtZjaPxvmXvepxRESV8XVoUzMKLi0VUrYRe8/s320/nursesylafix.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229140524282300354" /></a>I put on my disguise, and entered the room where Professor X was waiting.<br /><br />"Hi! I'm like, Nurse Sylar...ine, and I need to cut your appendix out!"<br /><br />"Hellooooo nurse," Professor X responded. "Sylarine, did you say your name was?" He began sensually rubbing his metal chair against my thigh. "Anything for you."<br /><br />"Really? I mean, good! Let's get started then."<br /><br />"Yes, yes, right away. Have you done this before?" he asked.<br /><br />"Don't worry," I said reassuringly, "I'm a brain surgeon!"<br /><br />"You are?"<br /><br />"In a way," I said with a wink.<br /><br />"Are you coming onto me?" The Professor winked back.<br /><br />"Of course! I come onto anything that moves!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfCvj4gzsmVFksx8s9PoLaLKYbNmOs_HLq5n1tPiBG0xTqIku_8a26y85u0wLDV5RQe8r5tO67ykuaQpf5C7ekzk7SCc3SIXfiLoGF7kutR0UlUQuk9Ox4m7AFrvu6RYyZyoQUBHu7XOo/s1600-h/65716105_43fcf0b9e4_o.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfCvj4gzsmVFksx8s9PoLaLKYbNmOs_HLq5n1tPiBG0xTqIku_8a26y85u0wLDV5RQe8r5tO67ykuaQpf5C7ekzk7SCc3SIXfiLoGF7kutR0UlUQuk9Ox4m7AFrvu6RYyZyoQUBHu7XOo/s200/65716105_43fcf0b9e4_o.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229521004220036834" /></a>The Professor sat there in silence. He certainly wasn't moving much. <br /><br />"You are certainly very insensitive to the handicapable. You remind me of a certain rude cross-dressing serial killer that I know." It was then that a look of terror came on his face. "Wait a minute...Sylarine...Sylar-ine...Sylar!"<br /><br />"Hehe, yup!" I cackled. Using my power of telekinesis, I tore open his flesh, and reached my hand inside of him. He didn't scream in pain, which made me sad. Damn paraplegia! I pulled out his appendix, and turned to walk away.<br /><br />"Sylar!" Xavier shouted in disbelief. "How couldn't I read your mind!"<br /><br />"My wig is totally like, telepathy proof!" I said with a giggle, and then scampered away<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiklMZ7t3umWBdMmvtaumdxeph-EoyucE5LZVT52FkxBH3RBZfB6rnFXYbG5TUUI7HB65_0Alc2L5BiSsbugUe27uqyQj-dugotBEBUIBYjfpVs8Sk2C9OU84jJdadyeYHVbCl82T4O2RQ/s1600-h/jafar_parrot.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiklMZ7t3umWBdMmvtaumdxeph-EoyucE5LZVT52FkxBH3RBZfB6rnFXYbG5TUUI7HB65_0Alc2L5BiSsbugUe27uqyQj-dugotBEBUIBYjfpVs8Sk2C9OU84jJdadyeYHVbCl82T4O2RQ/s320/jafar_parrot.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229519491848996690" /></a>Well, that was fun, but now it was time to put my plan into action! I hid around the corner from Xavier's room, and waited for my competition. It wasn't long before Jafar arrived. He walked into Xavier's room, stuck his hand in my premade hole, and shouted, "Fiddlesticks!" when he found nothing there.<br /><br />"Now there's a surprise. I think I am gonna have a heart attack and die from that surprise," his parrot put in, "Did ya even get in there deep enough? Here, let me try." The parrot jumped into the appendix-less hole, and began digging around. Jafar stood outside, watching intently.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilvPCE_5pjTKvjY59byo8tMjFQPX9hq8ZzFwYfTr0A9cE2-nI7mZ73cGA4pMFdngZWysiU7TEdceTYrTCqyFw0O4CHal9ikIReNYHO0VVNUjL1d6uZjhYMK8qskWRtWc_M-Pl5N_Qp3vM/s1600-h/xavierparrot.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilvPCE_5pjTKvjY59byo8tMjFQPX9hq8ZzFwYfTr0A9cE2-nI7mZ73cGA4pMFdngZWysiU7TEdceTYrTCqyFw0O4CHal9ikIReNYHO0VVNUjL1d6uZjhYMK8qskWRtWc_M-Pl5N_Qp3vM/s320/xavierparrot.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229509201332245810" /></a>"Ahem," someone cleared their throat. It was Professor X. The parrot poked its head out. <br /><br />"He left you alive?" it said. "Who is he, Ghandi? Well, anyways, there's nothin' in here. Let's go, Jafar."<br /><br />They went outside and hopped on their magic carpet. On it was a bag full of stuff. It looked like they had most of the items already! <br /><br />As the carpet lifted into the air and flew away, I followed on the ground. After a few thousand miles, they landed. I was a bit behind them, I ran to catch up.<br /><br />As I approached, I saw Nepharia. Jafar was on the ground on all fours in front of her.<br /><br />"Now, moo like a cow," she told Jafar.<br /><br />He listened, and responded, "Mooooooo!"<br /><br />Nodding in approval, she continued, "Good. Now, make love to your parrot."<br /><br />"Oh come on now!" he complained.<br /><br />"Sure, like <i>that's</i> the worst thing you've ever done," the parrot put in sarcastically.<br /><br />"Oh, fine, fine," Nepharia said, "I guess you can borrow my shoes. But I want them back!"<br /><br />She handed Jafar her shoes. He spoke to his parrot. "Well, that's everything but the appendix."<br /><br />Oh great, I had to follow them to one more person to get that appendix. But I didn't wanna! I wonder who could have it? Oh wait, I do! So I think that means, between Jafar and I, we had all the items! Right? If they had all but the appendix, and I had the appendix, that should be all of them, shouldn't it? I wasn't sure, but I moved forward anyways.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAgR-WCP74Swqf3p96DskWA-SlQS1rGpFqlhex3lfs7y5ZzWjzxG93EyfTPga_l4xuQqcYTawx2xs8TV4E64sz1KvAQL0MOZKLwMBIt6s9SbcSeVrhxpI81uEwBbBF-I6DkAGNAQpihrA/s1600-h/sylarme.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAgR-WCP74Swqf3p96DskWA-SlQS1rGpFqlhex3lfs7y5ZzWjzxG93EyfTPga_l4xuQqcYTawx2xs8TV4E64sz1KvAQL0MOZKLwMBIt6s9SbcSeVrhxpI81uEwBbBF-I6DkAGNAQpihrA/s320/sylarme.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229507105690353810" /></a>"Ah-ha!" I said as I jumped out of the shadows, revealing myself in a cat-like pose.<br /><br />"Sylar!" all three of them exclaimed.<br /><br />"Activate, cleavage generation powers!" I yelled frustratingly as I pounded on my boobless chest. I looked up and saw that the three of them were staring at me, so I stammered out, "I'll be taking all of your scavenger hunt items now!"<br /><br />"Sylar, are you going to kill them?" asked Nepharia, with a smile spreading across her face. "And if so, can I help?"<br /><br />"Like, no, I'm not going to kill them, I'm going to do something <i>much</i> worse," I responded as I smiled evilly at Jafar as I took his hand and pulled him towards the magic carpet...<br /><br /><br />The wind swept through our hair as we soared through the sky, Jafar and I, on our romantic magic carpet ride.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilceqR8fli6n4rWRUcAkq7dXOVGP58POLbRGaA6wWy72APPhRZJMCBuyF-GqeyrugXzgYQj94EFjJDnxcwyFTXatntFDLg0Q1Z7pjXqSbttcGj1ghlOoLGDcQ7tMAiwqPs1RYRcmb5dao/s1600-h/wholenewworld.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilceqR8fli6n4rWRUcAkq7dXOVGP58POLbRGaA6wWy72APPhRZJMCBuyF-GqeyrugXzgYQj94EFjJDnxcwyFTXatntFDLg0Q1Z7pjXqSbttcGj1ghlOoLGDcQ7tMAiwqPs1RYRcmb5dao/s400/wholenewworld.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229139623025595298" /></a><br /><br />"I can show you the world," I sang soulfully to Jafar, "Shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?"<br /><br />Jafar had a look of terror on his face. "No, stop, no!"<br /><br />"A whole new world. A new fantastic point of view. No one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming," I continued singing.<br /><br />"NOOooOOocoOOooOOOoOO!" shrieked Jafar. "Stop, stop! I'll give you the items! I'll give you the items!"<br /><br />We landed the carpet, and Jafar handed over his bag of goodies. As he did, his parrot flew over to him and landed on his shoulder, addressing Jafar.<br /><br />"Well <i>of course</i> you gave in. Who would have thought to have faith in you, Jafar? Can't stand a little singing? You don't seem to have any trouble with it when you're singing Journey in the shower! You're so pa..."<br /><br />With my mind, I blew up the parrot. Feathers showered everywhere. Jafar came over and gave me a big hug. "Thank you," he said. He looked up to the heavens, and shouted, "I'm free! Free!" and then ran away in ecstasy, leaving me with the bag.<br /><br />I opened the bag, and started pulling out the items that Jafar had gotten for the scavenger hunt.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJPlU7CstIfjCQEiEvHRE1_7QURIQyqpDLt03MswdQ1XtQxwTbpRmDxCatWSU2ulKn0ocHTSZchAU8eUq4WwU0HBsROg97wdpvOHUhuUL-T2S6iEgKELqRNwjJivnT8oA2hzeXSm30mLM/s1600-h/TC028%2520BINO.gif"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJPlU7CstIfjCQEiEvHRE1_7QURIQyqpDLt03MswdQ1XtQxwTbpRmDxCatWSU2ulKn0ocHTSZchAU8eUq4WwU0HBsROg97wdpvOHUhuUL-T2S6iEgKELqRNwjJivnT8oA2hzeXSm30mLM/s320/TC028%2520BINO.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229148890038425746" /></a><br /><br />West's Spy Binoculars<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI7wk2r7BPBBabyMussyN0EQ2gYhXURM7z48XcEmNXDoJPVYU4vZ95lJ1aLpJDoOa07ub8wDGxpcMaKynY2_2qTL09cSPtJem57C4c75KM_qMDSoQzZvG0CINe8Z4qhI2mQgeioDtsUQg/s1600-h/FancyMixedNuts.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI7wk2r7BPBBabyMussyN0EQ2gYhXURM7z48XcEmNXDoJPVYU4vZ95lJ1aLpJDoOa07ub8wDGxpcMaKynY2_2qTL09cSPtJem57C4c75KM_qMDSoQzZvG0CINe8Z4qhI2mQgeioDtsUQg/s320/FancyMixedNuts.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229150241300694066" /></a><br /><br />Gyrobo's Nuts. I'm glad Jafar found these! Last time I saw Gyrobo, all he had was these small hexagonal metal things with holes in them that you screw onto bolts.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIjywKqDvupYozgORnvyncdSRsI3h4uBq41hDTp3aBZQgz-9lP2xa3T-NvRkJ_pUWlR7BADddXI6tbHtrMmBjrpa5RzSXfnIY5ZmuKCyLmGVGB31rGvB1uJUxgGI_gIYLETSUKenew6mA/s1600-h/landspeeder.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIjywKqDvupYozgORnvyncdSRsI3h4uBq41hDTp3aBZQgz-9lP2xa3T-NvRkJ_pUWlR7BADddXI6tbHtrMmBjrpa5RzSXfnIY5ZmuKCyLmGVGB31rGvB1uJUxgGI_gIYLETSUKenew6mA/s320/landspeeder.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229150941034986290" /></a><br /><br />Merlyn's Land Speeder<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj17rC9weAHLWab_iHXG8rZwHtCsm8s2zk_dhO9IA8M34hRyGKC9LBvdTYgGIdcJJd8M-ELC2AQSo704mrJXNB_ilMEdQtgVVapAVg5NzRp5OQzkCFLpWO_Q6-DgR9UTboLRq9Nbat5bf0/s1600-h/t_18359.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj17rC9weAHLWab_iHXG8rZwHtCsm8s2zk_dhO9IA8M34hRyGKC9LBvdTYgGIdcJJd8M-ELC2AQSo704mrJXNB_ilMEdQtgVVapAVg5NzRp5OQzkCFLpWO_Q6-DgR9UTboLRq9Nbat5bf0/s320/t_18359.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229152081951994850" /></a><br /><br />Hotstuff's "dragon friend," Coffee Maker<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmbS8pGqALU_auQ7N707QQd9P50jlLtr6ylN5U0a_o4rvzx-CuV-o8-WKEZNaFYPHNwHKOs9uDfiTvXJzBFlCD9jP15uFnYHz7N-0IUZxI3qL79QkUDn3z1dgq0nc7xe_Z3all4qdG3ow/s1600-h/strike07_CourageTheCowardly.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmbS8pGqALU_auQ7N707QQd9P50jlLtr6ylN5U0a_o4rvzx-CuV-o8-WKEZNaFYPHNwHKOs9uDfiTvXJzBFlCD9jP15uFnYHz7N-0IUZxI3qL79QkUDn3z1dgq0nc7xe_Z3all4qdG3ow/s320/strike07_CourageTheCowardly.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229152657987922386" /></a><br /><br />Kon El's Courage (the Cowardly Dog)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDuTHvDJN93lVS7q9tZSvVt6ksI9mcJh73omXPlbCMukSsYMoPktyyKLjgYLkgnwL2I8VtxcDc6Lcytyqos2H2ea6ul-IeoNiWirwHZulhJPjCT1U8X68K0QBFkVFh_MOFZQ-_aicX6Jg/s1600-h/balenciaga01.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDuTHvDJN93lVS7q9tZSvVt6ksI9mcJh73omXPlbCMukSsYMoPktyyKLjgYLkgnwL2I8VtxcDc6Lcytyqos2H2ea6ul-IeoNiWirwHZulhJPjCT1U8X68K0QBFkVFh_MOFZQ-_aicX6Jg/s320/balenciaga01.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229153335368558722" /></a><br /><br />Nepharia's Stilettos (Tacky!)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg519eAV7aepMeO_zIcGmqof-nctLBmlnUqRkNgKAx4Sq_dE0YzSESCOM3qMbB5VTWUf06mDyXmgf51Zc0ypHaEvvkuxdkig9xIUYMF0M9R956vsRj4jjSkkGvj9X0mPOf6_6bqjNDOuJY/s1600-h/untitled.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg519eAV7aepMeO_zIcGmqof-nctLBmlnUqRkNgKAx4Sq_dE0YzSESCOM3qMbB5VTWUf06mDyXmgf51Zc0ypHaEvvkuxdkig9xIUYMF0M9R956vsRj4jjSkkGvj9X0mPOf6_6bqjNDOuJY/s320/untitled.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229153967996222402" /></a><br /><br />Ciera's Third Grade English Teacher<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9q6TiOOD7zeJEE8MN87A5SZIzNBsaCp8Zfk5teqdgKMo3IgkG6CKUhz81B7V3IXnEBW2KaoSiVhvFYV1z_QaSZrD7v8r6vncC7KTh2JIrEj4Vn7ZY3hbxcKvGFqbc2x5owVbXvRBTjFg/s1600-h/Easter-party-costume-bunny-ears-headband.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9q6TiOOD7zeJEE8MN87A5SZIzNBsaCp8Zfk5teqdgKMo3IgkG6CKUhz81B7V3IXnEBW2KaoSiVhvFYV1z_QaSZrD7v8r6vncC7KTh2JIrEj4Vn7ZY3hbxcKvGFqbc2x5owVbXvRBTjFg/s320/Easter-party-costume-bunny-ears-headband.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229154788602412466" /></a><br /><br />Erifia's Lekku Band (She must wear this one in private. Kinky!)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF5Er9biGeqqVD0e-JK7h0g7UrgFut8_rVTMJpq9nhn4b53saG1hfJX7jkK3hBvq-aEnRWBe0y5c1fopYcSsyZVwJOjGDIZ40T5_mROdeDr7lTZjaA1r6TobcLUuwveb1hHNV1x5eTGso/s1600-h/IMAGE_00006.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF5Er9biGeqqVD0e-JK7h0g7UrgFut8_rVTMJpq9nhn4b53saG1hfJX7jkK3hBvq-aEnRWBe0y5c1fopYcSsyZVwJOjGDIZ40T5_mROdeDr7lTZjaA1r6TobcLUuwveb1hHNV1x5eTGso/s320/IMAGE_00006.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229160161903298050" /></a><br /><br />Xavier's Appendix<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOKyazBS6hrRJaJfYvf6_5V7z7zo5FDtLt64VfM9hnKal3OVn32CDEZb9otZ0TyWHXXWo4RCLd81t8bkP3vUQ9obO9TZo3OP0ymwBe96toA3sDIF9zPznyGP5PMQJwG6-JVTvVc3W7YLI/s1600-h/koma.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOKyazBS6hrRJaJfYvf6_5V7z7zo5FDtLt64VfM9hnKal3OVn32CDEZb9otZ0TyWHXXWo4RCLd81t8bkP3vUQ9obO9TZo3OP0ymwBe96toA3sDIF9zPznyGP5PMQJwG6-JVTvVc3W7YLI/s320/koma.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229514732412739666" /></a><br /><br />Koma's Thong. I knew his thongs weren't just flip flops!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />That was everything! I'd completed the challenge. I sat down and took a deep breath when suddenly I saw Captain Koma in front of me.<br /><br />"Hey Sylar, I have a date with Chroma tonight, and I'm missing...something that I need for it. Haven't seen it have you?"<br /><br /><i>Uh, no, I'm only wearing it!</i> I thought to myself. Koma looked angry and disgusted. Did I say that outloud?Sylarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09837908664792644151noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-72409412295490226472008-07-30T10:46:00.001-05:002008-07-30T10:47:38.115-05:00Sylar's MissionSylar just read off my challenge. I looked at the ugly hat thing. It was my turn to draw.<br /><br />I reached in and pulled out a little paper square with some scribbling on it. "Well, this can't be right," I said. I read the challenge outloud, "Eat Mr. Bennet's brain."<br /><br />"Yay!" Sylar cheered. "You picked it..uh, I mean, oopsie! How'd <b><i>that</i></b> get in there?"<br /><br />Jon seemed annoyed. "Okay, you guys," he said, "I'll overlook these sabotage attempts, as long as you promise not to play fair in the actual challenge. Draw again, Noah."<br /><br />I pulled out another paper. It was much bigger than the last one and unrolled like a scroll. "Let's see," I started. "You are going on a scavenger hunt for the items of past contestants." It included a list:<br /><ul><li>Koma's Thong<br /><li>West's Spy Binoculars<br /><li>Xavier's Appendix<br /><li>Ciera's Third Grade English Teacher<br /><li>Erifia's Lekku Band<br /><li>Nepharia's Stilettos<br /><li>Kon-El's Courage<br /><li>Hotstuff's Coffee Maker<br /><li>Gyrobo's Nuts<br /><li>Merlyn's Landspeeder</ul><br /><br />"Great!" Jon said. "Now get to it."<br /><br />"Hold on," I put my hand up to his face. "There's more." I read the last sentence on the paper. "Disney villains will be competing against you in this scavenger hunt, and they don't always play nice."<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJCMjVdnHWI/AAAAAAAAA9s/Lzf3qq-njRo/s1600-h/jafar_parrot.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SJCMjVdnHWI/AAAAAAAAA9s/Lzf3qq-njRo/s400/jafar_parrot.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5228833706061798754" /></a><br />Jon looked at me to see if I was done. I just nodded.<br /><br />"Alrighty, then," he said. "Go!"Mr. Bennethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16418603606479190390noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-49050532524194376542008-07-30T07:26:00.000-05:002008-07-30T07:26:34.676-05:00Bennet's ChallengeSo there we were, Bennet, Jon and I, all standing around a hat. I was ready to draw a challenge for Mr. Glasses. I reached in, and pulled out a piece of paper.<br /><br />"Kill Sylar," I read the challenge aloud.<br /><br />"How'd <i>that</i> get in there?" Mr. Glasses laughed nervously, and then shrugged. "Oh well," he said, pulling out his gun and aiming it at me.<br /><br />Jon the Introglockenspeil shook his head. "Eliminating gladiators is <i>my</i> job. Draw another challenge, Sylar."<br /><br />Mr. Glasses pouted and lowered his gun as I pulled another challenge from the hat, and read it to my enemy:<br /><br />"The planet Mongo is in trouble again. The band Queen, with their new frontman, Flash Gordon, were on the planet recording their new theme song when they were captured by the Emperor Ming. You must travel to Mongo and rescue the band."<br /><br />Putting down the piece of paper, I looked at Mr. Glasses, and laughed.<br /><br />Now, for him to draw for my challenge...Sylarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09837908664792644151noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-54061965977108197592008-07-29T06:29:00.006-05:002008-07-29T06:53:02.866-05:00The Final Challenge<div align="center"> <span style="color:#ff0000;">The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered and only two remain. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be</span> </div><br /><p></p><br /><p><a href="http://s352.photobucket.com/albums/r333/joninterglad/th_lgsiiianim1.gif"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://s352.photobucket.com/albums/r333/joninterglad/th_lgsiiianim1.gif" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /><br /><div align="center"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4Y8aa9LtQ-X8BiWF4x0QiYHHncsAy2O1KYCBJIOpu_m2uLRIVy57f-xE3WpllQNvbuWRvIOJauKBJ_GM-FoPDppfrJr_8cmRZIgM9Dpan3VkmZX2Ad6n0IVMNGi0qvxT3eJijxxA5gEJI/s320/bennet.jpg" width="137" /> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVYVkbnHgSAfPX86VtmdQ2E9LHBacbelrbPbvVcm8ARum9GtFq8MLPsGSauDq5FdEj_0hvixVt2xRntN_s_qHfRogfmQPsHtDeKWZMOEZYJ-ytRoelixjEG82fGiMztAKz4cNc87z_Bcs4/s320/sylar.jpg" width="137" /></div><br /><br /><br />This is it ladies and gentlemen, the final challenge, the final countdown, the final of the final, the toughest challenge yet. <br /><br />Two men (er sorta, I guess) have battled their way to get to this very spot right now. These two have overcome obstacles and trials and have persevered where others have fallen. <br /><br />Will the winner be the "lady" or the paper tiger? <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixgoEy_Ppj2BCljXSzZbW4MMD6KCwyku9YeZUE3h2ESAI8BVlz7o3J9Wsl3iXC6mIGK0lkNgk1qSWi18-ADE5tMdUqIKAevjtemPO6HLebBU4bI_ednLflBRzQn3ZgmVTFbSDhN5obzccb/s200/hat.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: ;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixgoEy_Ppj2BCljXSzZbW4MMD6KCwyku9YeZUE3h2ESAI8BVlz7o3J9Wsl3iXC6mIGK0lkNgk1qSWi18-ADE5tMdUqIKAevjtemPO6HLebBU4bI_ednLflBRzQn3ZgmVTFbSDhN5obzccb/s200/hat.JPG" border="0" alt="" /></a>In this hat is your final challenge. <br /><br />(We got it cheap at an estate sale. Some old dude who ran a school for wizards died and it was everything must go. As my esteemed colleague Henchman might say “Haw haw.”)<br /><br />Draw a piece of paper from the hat and see what your final challenge will be. <br /><br />Oh yes, by the way, like last year you are drawing for your opponent. So draw the paper and see what <em>his</em> challenge will be. <br /><br />Sylar and Bennet, post your challenge when you draw it. <br /><br />All contestants as well as judges will be judging the final round. <br /><br />That is all. <br /><br /><p></p><div style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0em; PADDING-RIGHT: 5px; BORDER-TOP: 0em; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; BACKGROUND: url(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v701/Artiki/web_images/hinchey_nav2.gif) white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0em; COLOR: black; PADDING-TOP: 5px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0em">Last Gladiator Standing III was brought to you in part The Mullet of Atlantis.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjet70USAJ8KYSjD3QpoumSKKPSqH61mIhArWAxHQywgpZPDpfyP0brgtlftq-YI1pcu3LQeANPDleMfa2tISBHxJMol5BJg7jRJO2UNbvHds0j7E3P7nzDNrfCeem-tp-h2DifCYhfRDr/s1600-h/mullet.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjet70USAJ8KYSjD3QpoumSKKPSqH61mIhArWAxHQywgpZPDpfyP0brgtlftq-YI1pcu3LQeANPDleMfa2tISBHxJMol5BJg7jRJO2UNbvHds0j7E3P7nzDNrfCeem-tp-h2DifCYhfRDr/s320/mullet.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5228400662239537586" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />The Mullet of Atlantis is in fine bookstores everywhere. <br /><br /><br /></div><p></span></p>Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-71756599138493412052008-07-28T17:39:00.007-05:002008-07-28T17:52:12.881-05:00Challenge 10, the Vote<div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;">The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be</span></div><br /><p></p><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4if1ODSCNTTHflyVszbPNXTHxt6HsVVRzy2u27Cr3waVxDsqbpKLyX4wUBtASLgG91x_ketjEAfetoItNYCQAK0ZeyNcU_qBRvi3ERNry3xu1zl2JWK-rg-PdiNpJ1su3TsiG2NxLuk/s320/LGSIII.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4if1ODSCNTTHflyVszbPNXTHxt6HsVVRzy2u27Cr3waVxDsqbpKLyX4wUBtASLgG91x_ketjEAfetoItNYCQAK0ZeyNcU_qBRvi3ERNry3xu1zl2JWK-rg-PdiNpJ1su3TsiG2NxLuk/s320/LGSIII.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Down to the last three.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />But only two shall go on.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />You can feel the excitement in the air.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p><p><br />Like some sort of physical thing that's literally in the air that you can actually touch.<br /></p><p><br /><br /><br /><br />And it's exciting.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Like remember when Lucy was the only one who could see Aslan and her brothers and sister didn't believe her at first?<br /><br /></p><p><br /><br /><br />They were all like "You cracked, Lucy, and that ain't straight."<br /><br /></p><p><br /><br /><br /><br />And then they did see Aslan and Lucy's all like "Told ja!"<br /><br /><br /></p><p><br /><br /><br />What a brat, huh?<br /><br /><br /><br /></p><p><br /><br />That's almost as bad as if someone was stringing you along and not telling you who got voted out.<br /><br /><br /></p><p><br />Kind of annoying, huh?<br /><br /><br /><br /></p><p><br />Well what are you gonna do?<br /><br /><br /></p><p><br />Scroll down I guess.<br /><br /><br /><br /></p><p></p><p><br /><br /></p><p><br />West, you are not the Last Gladiator Standing, goodbye.<br /><br /><br /></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZLT7BX5hz_dRa8dhEUeKoUWnDcpvbxwefHn7dBnaL41Z_EJxCYw5FEWJgWlU5Hn0EcEqbnG95D07Ol8r6jHTxByiRfLUoaH2hiRU7DT8d_565SqSBwPJdQEatFqHPe4rUPKw5pd3tkxsW/s1600-h/west.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5228199616155035266" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZLT7BX5hz_dRa8dhEUeKoUWnDcpvbxwefHn7dBnaL41Z_EJxCYw5FEWJgWlU5Hn0EcEqbnG95D07Ol8r6jHTxByiRfLUoaH2hiRU7DT8d_565SqSBwPJdQEatFqHPe4rUPKw5pd3tkxsW/s320/west.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Which is too bad, 'cuz all the girls were way hot for you. For real, I read it online. That flying stalker bit is tres sexy.<br /><br /><br />Stay tuned for the next challenge.<br /><br /><div style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0em; PADDING-RIGHT: 5px; BORDER-TOP: 0em; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; BACKGROUND: url(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v701/Artiki/web_images/hinchey_nav2.gif) white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0em; COLOR: black; PADDING-TOP: 5px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0em">Last Gladiator Standing III was brought to you today by Hacknor Ham.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFkv42rOvWjIvrSg3uo8A_6siJQkSDeVLonhk8lwy6GW2ksugpOPcV6Gdbu4PjvIP3V7wiy8588OqMP7lpMP8x-iTV9f7MK224PQFFEvcRB75-SZ8nghEF4l-RWjdFXpsVWGSso-EODgo/s1600-h/ham.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5227872100261009810" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFkv42rOvWjIvrSg3uo8A_6siJQkSDeVLonhk8lwy6GW2ksugpOPcV6Gdbu4PjvIP3V7wiy8588OqMP7lpMP8x-iTV9f7MK224PQFFEvcRB75-SZ8nghEF4l-RWjdFXpsVWGSso-EODgo/s400/ham.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Hacknor Ham, now with flavor crystals!<br /></div><p></span></p>Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-86563500157471019462008-07-27T21:17:00.003-05:002008-07-27T21:21:28.137-05:00Challenge 10, the Decision<div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;">The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be</span></div><br /><p></p><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4if1ODSCNTTHflyVszbPNXTHxt6HsVVRzy2u27Cr3waVxDsqbpKLyX4wUBtASLgG91x_ketjEAfetoItNYCQAK0ZeyNcU_qBRvi3ERNry3xu1zl2JWK-rg-PdiNpJ1su3TsiG2NxLuk/s320/LGSIII.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4if1ODSCNTTHflyVszbPNXTHxt6HsVVRzy2u27Cr3waVxDsqbpKLyX4wUBtASLgG91x_ketjEAfetoItNYCQAK0ZeyNcU_qBRvi3ERNry3xu1zl2JWK-rg-PdiNpJ1su3TsiG2NxLuk/s320/LGSIII.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /><br /><br />Congratulations Sylar, you are the winner of Challenge 10.<br /><br />As votes from Bennet and West will cancel each other out, it's all on you.<br /><br />Send in your vote for elimination.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b175/deadeye402/sylar.jpg?t=1168019465"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 167px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 215px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="284" alt="" src="http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b175/deadeye402/sylar.jpg?t=1168019465" width="201" border="0" /></a></p>Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-37772269732606452452008-07-25T20:22:00.004-05:002008-07-25T20:29:02.018-05:00<div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;">The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be</span></div><br /><p></p><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4if1ODSCNTTHflyVszbPNXTHxt6HsVVRzy2u27Cr3waVxDsqbpKLyX4wUBtASLgG91x_ketjEAfetoItNYCQAK0ZeyNcU_qBRvi3ERNry3xu1zl2JWK-rg-PdiNpJ1su3TsiG2NxLuk/s320/LGSIII.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4if1ODSCNTTHflyVszbPNXTHxt6HsVVRzy2u27Cr3waVxDsqbpKLyX4wUBtASLgG91x_ketjEAfetoItNYCQAK0ZeyNcU_qBRvi3ERNry3xu1zl2JWK-rg-PdiNpJ1su3TsiG2NxLuk/s320/LGSIII.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /><br />All contestants are invited to vote on the winner of the challenge.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://heroeswiki.com/images/e/ec/West.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 140px; CURSOR: hand" height="172" alt="" src="http://heroeswiki.com/images/e/ec/West.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p>Will it be West, who duked it our with Wonder Girl?<br /><br /><a href="http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b175/deadeye402/sylar.jpg?t=1168019465"><img style="WIDTH: 133px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 174px" height="201" alt="" src="http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b175/deadeye402/sylar.jpg?t=1168019465" border="0" /></a></p><p>Will it be Sylar, who duked it out with the Stairmaster?<br /><br /><a href="http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s240/PrimatechPaper/Comedy%20Pictures/carebears.gif"><img style="WIDTH: 178px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 109px" height="96" alt="" src="http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s240/PrimatechPaper/Comedy%20Pictures/carebears.gif" border="0" /></a></p><p>Will it be Bennet, who duked it out with Bone Grinder's lost faculties?<br /><br />(shrugs) I dunno<br /><br />Get me your vote by 7:00 central on Sunday.<br /><br /><br /><br />The winner get immunity, the other two get to sweat.<br /></p>Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-15662859519334652252008-07-25T19:33:00.008-05:002008-07-25T19:43:13.347-05:00Ch. 10: West vs. 'Roid Rage<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMnaBiP-9H2KEECgxZLFsHB1Ryk5TqBCNkrUuOLyxGWACi_pyUxsz38LClxVZiG6j3hWLH3H1GxNYmG9DSLtjqg-s1zywdaRNeMREkfyN3z4QcRwuRHDg5bS1KyRA8KW9sOdFmjF4FpYwV/s1600-h/oberto_beef_jerky.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5227116585231828994" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMnaBiP-9H2KEECgxZLFsHB1Ryk5TqBCNkrUuOLyxGWACi_pyUxsz38LClxVZiG6j3hWLH3H1GxNYmG9DSLtjqg-s1zywdaRNeMREkfyN3z4QcRwuRHDg5bS1KyRA8KW9sOdFmjF4FpYwV/s400/oberto_beef_jerky.jpg" border="0" /></a> After receiving our challenges, I was forced into the company of the beefy luchador Giant Swell.<br /><br />“Uh, hi. I’m West. I, uh, guess you’re supposed to teach me how to be a Gladiator.”<br /><br />He stared at me for a moment, then stabbed me in the face with a syringe full of a performance-enhancing drug.<br />“Weenie-boy get strong,” he grunted, then dragged me into the hold of a spaceship reeking of sweat and beef jerky. “We go to Earth. You too wussy to be Gladiator of Intergalaxy. Gladiator of America good nuff for little you.”<br /><br />I rubbed my face and pulled the broken needle out from under my skin. “We don’t have to take a ship, though. We could just—“ My words were choked off as Giant Swell put me in a headlock and poured a protein shake down my throat.<br /><br />“We take flying gym. You work out. Get strong. Be good Gladiator.”<br /><br />Those next few days were the hardest of my life as I bench-pressed, push-upped, chin-upped, squatted, injected, protein-packed and carbo-loaded every muscle in my body, but by the time we hit Earth’s orbit, I was still as scrawny as ever.<br /><br />“Can I stop now?” I groaned as I gasped and panted on the floor of the gym, having toppled backwards over a medicine ball.<br /><br />“Yes. Stop. Eat raw egg before we land.”<br /><br />I did, then puked all over the ships controls during a turbulent entry into Earth’s atmosphere, making Giant Swell panic as the spaceship’s steering short-circuited. We crashed a few miles south of San Diego.<br /><br />Giant Swell strapped weights to my arms and legs and forced me to run through the desert while he sat on my shoulders. I thought my back was going to break and I tried to get him off me by flying, but every time I lifted even an inch of the ground, he put me in a choke hold and said, “Be good or voted off you go.”<br /><br />The stench of his beef jerky breath still lurks in my nostrils. God help me.<br /><br />We got to the US border when ICE agents in an SUV stopped in front of us, guns drawn.<br /><br />“You aliens?”<br /><br />“Hell yes!” I answered. “I’m West Rosen, alien god and king of the night sky, keeper of the ultimate destiny, friend to supermodels, and fourth place winner of <em>Sylar’s Bachelor</em>.”<br /><br />“Leave ‘im,” the other ICE agent barked. “They don’t make um that dorky on the other side. Take the big one, though. That’s a mask of a foreigner for sure, and we can’t afford another incident like the Ron Paul convention.”<br /><br />I tried to make a break for it, but they shot Giant Swell with seven elephant tranquilizers and loaded him onto their SUV, and Swell had me too weighed down to fight. As they sped away, I sat in the blistering desert and cried. I was sure to have lost the challenge now.<br /><br />As my tears evaporated in the heat, I took the weights off my arms and legs and vowed to soldier on. I would fly to LA, compete in and win <em>American Gladiators</em>, and make Giant Swell proud.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZZheKOJPxL44ZeLEH0c5zDxKomO5W4lakHI7xk0uxmqGWA6nUTsi6GVnvU1HTkYbMx8XhG5ozRjf8N5M2-eizsawO7WNVEnt2SchQcgl3p6rVxCdh8S1wBg7KIYSST23tBU91QbXuuRTV/s1600-h/r1263708551.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5227116190194983106" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZZheKOJPxL44ZeLEH0c5zDxKomO5W4lakHI7xk0uxmqGWA6nUTsi6GVnvU1HTkYbMx8XhG5ozRjf8N5M2-eizsawO7WNVEnt2SchQcgl3p6rVxCdh8S1wBg7KIYSST23tBU91QbXuuRTV/s400/r1263708551.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Something was amiss in Los Angeles, though. Buildings burned, bricks were thrown through windows, and teenagers ran through the streets shouting. My cell phone rang.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU2VKdgx_96u7n_ma2ZnfFhMYQNZR-Vpd-dpLwzFzw_UMU_xaXJE3s-6ezrJbudDE6kiqa8lOkk_ybn-OB5oH_yWKSH54Nfie9iQptlNoU8XWge4ptnQa65A3bPl5tnTlWYl6Pk-z4O_HQ/s1600-h/alg_universal-fire.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5227116375525264338" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU2VKdgx_96u7n_ma2ZnfFhMYQNZR-Vpd-dpLwzFzw_UMU_xaXJE3s-6ezrJbudDE6kiqa8lOkk_ybn-OB5oH_yWKSH54Nfie9iQptlNoU8XWge4ptnQa65A3bPl5tnTlWYl6Pk-z4O_HQ/s320/alg_universal-fire.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />“Rosen! Do you know how much I had to pay my lawyers to get Giant Swell out of the custody of your planet’s barbaric immigration agents? Too much! You owe me big time, bucko!”<br /><br />“Who is this?”<br /><br />“J’onn Sinew Nu, and if you had bothered to meet me you would have known that, you two-bit wannabe punk! I own you; don’t you forget that! Now, to pay me back, you need to fix the situation in LA. Superboy’s little fanclub, the ‘Cult of Kon-El’ or whatever, are pretty cheesed off about you booting off their teen idol. Hence, the riot. So no more reality shows: no <em>Real World</em>, no <em>Big Brother</em>, and no <em>American Gladiators</em>. So if you wanna prove yourself, kid, you’ve got to find his fanclub president, a chesty blonde called Wonder Girl. You’ll know what to do.”<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirf9wFC5HWs-JeOddBmuvf0o3xpraZ2AA0Hb7tprrjkYg8FFeTC7LJH2rd-_h53L5rlhRUuBi5kP76vKW1vT0nLmdeVfBBSFB0keL8lTDpUkLO6FlgQFsbOKUeBNweSUItgAON4oVOwvm8/s1600-h/qtip.jpg"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTnx2wuJsUiZqKe8MORVTSr4wpnXpJ0awKPpe0N8pzYbphi65N35IpA9oX_GsgU6UpQfSXshBeT8e22NNWQAK2bYZArTZZmVGwswQO3aILg9c6ZRWv48l_qV5sS3wh-x7HwDo8VQX9hAxt/s1600-h/1140406478225px-Wonder_Girl.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5227115959583006642" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTnx2wuJsUiZqKe8MORVTSr4wpnXpJ0awKPpe0N8pzYbphi65N35IpA9oX_GsgU6UpQfSXshBeT8e22NNWQAK2bYZArTZZmVGwswQO3aILg9c6ZRWv48l_qV5sS3wh-x7HwDo8VQX9hAxt/s400/1140406478225px-Wonder_Girl.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />The cell phone flew out of my hand as I tripped over a golden rope.<br /><br />“I assume you’re Wonder Girl?” I said, looking up at what was indeed a chesty blonde.<br /><br />“You want to be a Gladiator, punk? Well fight me, then. I’ll smash you into a pulp and avenge Kon-El.” She flew into me and punched me in the stomach. I puked up the rest of the raw egg.<br /><br />“Jeez,” I said, wiping my mouth. “This is worse than the reaction when David Cook won American Idol.”<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkliKxA5pJXOfHNdT_hGdJR2FUnJTsZyJ1GF9ZQHT348AH4ag8Fnrs_4Tvsy8CNk6TMEUedSroUVplJy1xFXjQMWpOqn9NjSxdQK-97Mx_jfxjKWq5cqGR3DiOHflUN4jYVGibqJN0HocJ/s1600-h/qtip.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5227115701355331202" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkliKxA5pJXOfHNdT_hGdJR2FUnJTsZyJ1GF9ZQHT348AH4ag8Fnrs_4Tvsy8CNk6TMEUedSroUVplJy1xFXjQMWpOqn9NjSxdQK-97Mx_jfxjKWq5cqGR3DiOHflUN4jYVGibqJN0HocJ/s200/qtip.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Wonder Girl put out the fires in the buildings around us, and then turned back to me. “Meet me in the Bottled City of Kandor at noon tomorrow.” She handed me a Q-tip. “This will be your weapon.”<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir5f5jZ-ovWB7rd8IhLj7OKyDfZRDSZlnOVmSRUBx8VjGto91yjMSNKBotV8ctDWvPjVTnGlMt4puL3juht9y6hThxH4cMSOmubmRNFFZSYTVz8k0sXu87pXF9316bMDxqFzCfJyrWdVyU/s1600-h/Kandor_%2528Earth-One%2529.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5227115187179012706" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir5f5jZ-ovWB7rd8IhLj7OKyDfZRDSZlnOVmSRUBx8VjGto91yjMSNKBotV8ctDWvPjVTnGlMt4puL3juht9y6hThxH4cMSOmubmRNFFZSYTVz8k0sXu87pXF9316bMDxqFzCfJyrWdVyU/s400/Kandor_%2528Earth-One%2529.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />At the Fortress of Solitude, where the Bottled City of Kandor was held, some dude named Atom Man shrunk me, Wonder Girl, and all those crazy fans so we could fit inside. The Q-tip I held could actually be used to push someone over, and I focused on all the training Giant Swell had given me as I made my way through that miniature Xanadu.<br /><br />“They took my Kon-El from the battle, so now we take the battle to them!” Wonder Girl announced to the cheering crowd before turning to me. “Your journey ends now, Rosen,” she spat.<br /><br />I charged. She blocked. I thrusted. She parried. Back and forth we went until I realized that Wonder Girl had a secret weapon: she had used the Q-tip before shrinking down, and I was stuck to the floor in her earwax. I struggled to escape. I strained harder and harder, until all the steroids that Giant Swell had pumped into me kicked in, and my muscles ballooned outward. The exponential growth of my muscles cancelled out being shrunk by Atom Man, and the Bottled City of Kandor shattered around me.<br /><br />I collapsed under the weight of my expanding musculature as the Cult of Kon-El fled screaming.<br /><br />When I awoke in the hospital on Hacknor the next day, J’onn Sinew Nu and Giant Swell stood by my, now normal-sized, side.<br /><br />“Well, kid,” Sinew Nu said, “the Pay-Per-View from the Kandor fight managed to take in just enough to pay for Giant Swell’s legal bills, but don’t think this makes you IGEs cash cow. Now it’s off to the accountants for me to count my money!”<br /><br />Giant Swell beamed at me, swelling with pride. “That’ll do, wuss. That’ll do.”Westhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05183103128403640972noreply@blogger.com230tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-35341193318823532482008-07-25T10:09:00.004-05:002008-07-25T10:16:21.192-05:00Mission Ten: Walking the Talk"So, I was thinking about making some paper sales here on Hacknor. Are you up for it, old man?"<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInqiakew7I/AAAAAAAAA9U/7KthxbAiX0Q/s1600-h/bone.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInqiakew7I/AAAAAAAAA9U/7KthxbAiX0Q/s400/bone.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226966719508956082" /></a>"Old man? I tell you when I was fourteen we didn't need paper. The world was our burrito, and we made every minute of our lives count toward something. That's what it means to be an Intergalactic Gladiator, you know? Four hours in the gym every day and a confidentiality agreement. Yes, sir, lots of secrets in the gladiatoring business. I remember walking in on Ol' Tipper McDunn during his acne-cream application. Of course, back then acne had no cure. And why should it? Pimples are the signs of a stressed body. If you're not stressin', you ain't livin'."<br /><br />I could tell this was going to be an exciting challenge. <br /><br />"You know, back in my day this gladiator business was dangerous! There were no helmets or safety nets or steroids, and racism was still allowed. Those were the good ol' days and the first time I lost my brain."<br /><br />"Well, that's nice," I replied trying to end the conversation. Unfortunately, I came to find that to be an impossibility with Bone Grinder.<br /><br />"Sure thing, Skipper. I can tell you all about it," he went on. "It was a legendary matchup: me versus some other guy. I knocked his lights out. Then, in the darkness, he managed to hit me on the head with a newspaper or something. I could feel my brain shake loose, then the man threw cats at me. My allergies acted up and I went into a sneezing fit. Every sneeze caused a piece of my brain to fly out my nose. I don't much care for nose jobs. What do they need employment for anyway? Saving up for a larger septum? I say they can find employment on some other planet. Pluto is a disappointment!"<br /><br />"That's a lovely story about your brain falling out your nose and all, but..."<br /><br />"Oh, yeah, my brain. I had to get a transplant, you know. They were fresh out of usable brains, so I got an overgrown cauliflower. Some reports suggest they're even better at thinking than brains are!"<br /> <br />Bone Grinder continued talking to me about taco toppings, which I believe he was using as a metaphor for cleaning a windshield. <br /><br />Since he was going to go on talking nonsense, I thought I might as well make the most of it. "Come on, Bone. Follow me."<br /><br />"Sure, I'll follow you, but I ain't joining no cult. Three years ago I was attacked my Mormons. 'Bout lost my life, if it weren't for my accuracy with a salad fork...."<br /><br />A long, long cab ride later, we arrived at Williams Arena where Ron Paul was having his counter-convention. <i>Perfect</i>, I thought. <i>Bone Grinder will fit right in here</i>. I patted Bone on the back and said, "Have fun, I'm going to the little boys' room."<br /><br />"You damn pedophile!" he replied, "Not that there's anything wrong with it...." But before he could go of on a tangent, Ron Paul took the podium.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInpSKnvT3I/AAAAAAAAA9M/lJZ4AnTbcrY/s1600-h/story.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInpSKnvT3I/AAAAAAAAA9M/lJZ4AnTbcrY/s400/story.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226965340838121330" /></a>"Greetings my fellow patriots," he began. Bone Grinder turned away from me and listened to Paul go on. "We are here today because the Republican Party has failed us! They insist on legislating morality. No where in the Constitution does it say that we have to pay taxes, or that we can't murder each other, or that everyone is entitled to free health care. Hell, it doesn't even provide protection for minors from sexual predators!"<br /><br />Boney G, as his Gangsta name would be, was entranced. I slowly snuck away as Ron Paul continued his Family No-Values speech. <br /><br />A much shorter cab ride later I arrived at the Titty Twister. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInrhJxXGBI/AAAAAAAAA9c/lizmyOnjCiY/s1600-h/dusktil04.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInrhJxXGBI/AAAAAAAAA9c/lizmyOnjCiY/s400/dusktil04.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226967797331335186" /></a><br />And no, it wasn't for personal reasons. I was looking for someone. Someone who ate brains and loved having their titties twisted.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInrooEuVpI/AAAAAAAAA9k/pgoHdh4Mdss/s1600-h/996DTD_Cheech_Marin_003.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInrooEuVpI/AAAAAAAAA9k/pgoHdh4Mdss/s400/996DTD_Cheech_Marin_003.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226967925724698258" /></a>A couple of Mexican tough guys stopped me as I entered.<br /><br />"Where you headin', Señor Glasses?" the short one asked. <br /><br />"Inside. Are you going to stop me?"<br /><br />"Me?" He laughed. "No. My friend Nacho will do that."<br /><br />The caped gordo jumped out at me and annouced, "NachOooOoooocooOoOOooOOOO!"<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIniXiyPE4I/AAAAAAAAA8c/B8cRh_3Xivc/s1600-h/nacho_jack2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIniXiyPE4I/AAAAAAAAA8c/B8cRh_3Xivc/s400/nacho_jack2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226957736642548610" /></a><br />I pulled my gun and shot him three times. As he fell onto the ground, the other guys stared at me. I pushed them out of the way and walked inside.<br /><br />There, at the bar, I saw a suspicious-looking Ninja.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIni53tkwLI/AAAAAAAAA8k/LmqduHSDUa8/s1600-h/ninja2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIni53tkwLI/AAAAAAAAA8k/LmqduHSDUa8/s400/ninja2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226958326375694514" /></a><br />I walked up to the man and asked, "Have you seen a cross-dressing brain-eater around here?"<br /><br />"Lolz, like no way silly!" he giggled. "What would I be doing in a strip bar?"<br /><br />"You're right," I said and walked away. I was wrong, Sylar wasn't here, so my plans of sabotage were of no use.<br /><br />As I headed to the exit, the Mexican tough guys came inside. "Hey! That Gringo killed Nacho!" They pointed at me.<br /><br />The entire audience fell silent and stared at me. Then, the Mexican Ninja said, "Oh, nos! Not Nacho, my plump little wrestling buddy!" He ripped off his ninja-apparel to reveal his true identity.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInj96CvrhI/AAAAAAAAA8s/lZ6IOQ-p9mI/s1600-h/mexican_ninja_sylar.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInj96CvrhI/AAAAAAAAA8s/lZ6IOQ-p9mI/s400/mexican_ninja_sylar.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226959495232466450" /></a><br />"Get Mr. Glasses, lolz!" he ordered.<br /><br />The booze-filled and angry Mexicans jumped from their seats and charged at me. I emptied my gun into the crowd and fought my way to the exit.<br /><br /><i>Where was an Intergalactic Gladiator when you needed one?</i><br /><br />I ran all the way back to the convention with the <b>muy</b> angry mob chasing close behind. <br /><br />"There is no freedom if we lock terrorists up without rights!" I could hear from inside. "They deserve to live the American Dream just like any other religious nut."<br /><br />I kicked the door open and found Bone Grinder. "You've gotta do something! There's a mob heading this way. We're going to have to fight them!"<br /><br />"I never met a mob I didn't kill, or for that matter wasn't a part of. The 60s was a good time for mobs. We used to start off with a game of Naked Twister, but one thing led to another and before we knew it we were out in force demanding the right to consensual dung battles."<br /><br />Before Bone Grinder could finish his delightful story, Cheech and his gang burst in. <br /><br />"Hey, what is the meaning of this?" Ron Paul asked from his podium.<br /><br />The Mexican glared up at him. "Look muchachos, it's a pro-choicer."<br /><br />This seemed to cause the mob to forget about me as they broke out in utter madness attacking all of the convention goers with machetes and sharpened taco shells. <br /><br />"Hmmm....maybe they were right about that border fence after all," Ron Paul said as he ducked under the podium.<br /><br />I looked at Bone Grinder and said, "Well, here's you're chance to be a real gladiator again!"<br /><br />"Why the Hell are you still talking?" he asked. "There's a fight going on! Save the chit chat for later." And with that he let out a piercing battle cry as he flailed his bony appendages about, knocking Latinos and Libertarians alike unconscious. <br /><br />I joined in on the fray.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInmqt_VZTI/AAAAAAAAA80/Wc4cZKTpu9U/s1600-h/kick.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SInmqt_VZTI/AAAAAAAAA80/Wc4cZKTpu9U/s400/kick.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226962464114304306" /></a><br />It was a long and tough battle, but with Bone Grinder on our side, we had the upper hand. Soon, the borachos were racing back to their strip joint.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIno3QdkldI/AAAAAAAAA88/5_o18iW5t-A/s1600-h/who-is-ron-paul-president-2008.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIno3QdkldI/AAAAAAAAA88/5_o18iW5t-A/s320/who-is-ron-paul-president-2008.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226964878549620178" /></a>Ron Paul stood back up at the podium and motioned to Bone Grinder. "Come on up here. You saved this convention and protected our Constitution with your excessive violence. Let's hear a few words from our freedom fighter!"<br /><br />Bone Grinder made his way up to the podium.<br /><br /><i>Oh, brother...</i><br /><br />"Thank you," he began. "I don't fight freedom because it's easy. I fight freedom because my dad left when I was seven. I never drank any of that Sprite crap, though. I'm a 7-Up guy, always been one. Sometimes I drink water, but that's just because it's easily accessible. I had to build my own well once. It was during the drought of ought three. Vultures were disintegrating in mid-air from the heat. I got myself a stick and started digging. I almost made it to China, which is pretty good considering I wasn't on Earth at the time. But there was no reason I couldn't hold hands with the woman I loved. The church frowned on it, but that's their problem. I say, if you spend a buck seventy on a couple of burgers and the drive in, you're entitled to some hand action...."<br /><br />A couple of days later, he finished and the challenge finally came to an end.Mr. Bennethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16418603606479190390noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-9461888492254244812008-07-24T06:09:00.017-05:002008-07-24T06:41:46.325-05:00Don't Steal My Thunder<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNUf9evMGMLZDHC-iW5j98PO2D27AvnFfvaSiu_rBkhRTa7JCIVVTVJd2drGLF1RNck8a7eSRAvKSrIgeEeDehJyXkftYh0I2gHOb9QbLiAy7o0LIYrMCZVnDaQPlzCXFcP2UV9z3zfqI/s1600-h/thunder.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNUf9evMGMLZDHC-iW5j98PO2D27AvnFfvaSiu_rBkhRTa7JCIVVTVJd2drGLF1RNck8a7eSRAvKSrIgeEeDehJyXkftYh0I2gHOb9QbLiAy7o0LIYrMCZVnDaQPlzCXFcP2UV9z3zfqI/s320/thunder.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226184615016716194" /></a>I sat with my new friend, the gladiator, Thunder Thighs, and painted my toe nails with her. <br /><br />"Omigod, that shade of pink looks like, soooo good on you!" I said to Thunder Thighs.<br /><br />"Thanks, Sylar. I hope it impresses Jon."<br /><br />"Jon the Introglockenspeil?"<br /><br />"Yes, I've got a thing for him. I want to wrap my thunderous thighs around him. He's one sexy gladiator."<br /><br />"Hehe," I giggled. "A crush on Introglockenspeil? That's a hilarious joke!"<br /><br />"I'm not joking," she replied coldly.<br /><br />"Oh, uh, how do you like the food?" I asked, changing the subject.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbX7lD2eG3LwhN_iCdaj6rLTgb2yj1iy77izsw12atofyrqgyTGtMJHaY6dDcTr4pHHjDPP2bfXUI34Zqv8-_Uy0EIc3Qhw1Kyvh_-mMGvMZKk_hQI231i8naHFoULBSPAJxbW7ygMaJY/s1600-h/brains.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbX7lD2eG3LwhN_iCdaj6rLTgb2yj1iy77izsw12atofyrqgyTGtMJHaY6dDcTr4pHHjDPP2bfXUI34Zqv8-_Uy0EIc3Qhw1Kyvh_-mMGvMZKk_hQI231i8naHFoULBSPAJxbW7ygMaJY/s320/brains.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226542160319471570" /></a>Thunder Thighs took a bite of the homemade dish I brought her. "This is really good. What is it?"<br /><br />"It's brains!" I said, smacking my lips.<br /><br />Thunder Thighs stared at me for a moment, and then started laughing. "Oh Sylar, you're such a jokester."<br /><br />I giggled, and said, "I know!" Then I scratched my head. "What am I joking about?"<br /><br />"That we're eating brains."<br /><br />"Oh yeah," I responded. Thunder Thighs seemed to be insane. Eating brains is no laughing matter. Oh well. "Hey, wanna go to the gym so we can work off the weight we packed on from these brains?" I asked her.<br /><br />Her eyes grew wide. "The <i>gym</i>?" she asked. "The place of evil and despair? You wish to fight evil with me? Very well. But, we will not work off <i>any</i> weight."<br /><br />"But I'm getting love handles!" I shouted in protest as we walked out the door. <br /><br />We arrived at the gym. It looked homey.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiyS31Kxd81d-A2TkHj8KGTY2rjD_nkaePiBRQdFKZ2qR-ezgjf21wFKItoch9aUeqHLJJKLCOPgwsFrSIhp20zUIg8gPnDHBZes26PtFjbcg6Xr9aFUiR9J5VQ7Kf_d-J5n6zkjOhiZk/s1600-h/evilgym.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiyS31Kxd81d-A2TkHj8KGTY2rjD_nkaePiBRQdFKZ2qR-ezgjf21wFKItoch9aUeqHLJJKLCOPgwsFrSIhp20zUIg8gPnDHBZes26PtFjbcg6Xr9aFUiR9J5VQ7Kf_d-J5n6zkjOhiZk/s400/evilgym.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226541002460551890" /></a><br /><br />Stepping inside, I noticed that the gym was full of hot boys! "Omigod," I said in a moment of sudden revelation, "this gym is full of hot boys!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJhe6KRXRyvrl9o9HeC7Mod5cagO1Kh6mFOvXVHiDPgxxwidAp8EpQd2m3XiBp4gTzI2RJNz7hlxW8bmCOgt9R8yE0Jep5a6jP6BuMaZgXF4Ug6j9asSi3Ggj-21iyOZ_sUlUf4dTt2t0/s1600-h/brady_quinn_shirtless_cellphone.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJhe6KRXRyvrl9o9HeC7Mod5cagO1Kh6mFOvXVHiDPgxxwidAp8EpQd2m3XiBp4gTzI2RJNz7hlxW8bmCOgt9R8yE0Jep5a6jP6BuMaZgXF4Ug6j9asSi3Ggj-21iyOZ_sUlUf4dTt2t0/s200/brady_quinn_shirtless_cellphone.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226539943590394162" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimf4dKIHdajIkcJeueUBqVgEiWtVxbrJG1w0ubHzblmSnGWquTucnnXPhAL28lgvL9S_gkttxL-Y1YqXz-0AoHMwXy1IahKS7pfl-My0T2mTwpzYafFGL6rIArq78_X6GZ_ZeZOIFH_ro/s1600-h/richard.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimf4dKIHdajIkcJeueUBqVgEiWtVxbrJG1w0ubHzblmSnGWquTucnnXPhAL28lgvL9S_gkttxL-Y1YqXz-0AoHMwXy1IahKS7pfl-My0T2mTwpzYafFGL6rIArq78_X6GZ_ZeZOIFH_ro/s200/richard.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226543639855808866" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIqf6drFxpDq1JVAIwXlEuaGVyUPsUE0fkrVq3kL7Ibo0090Fltj1OCoxNJ0CKQELLYwFnXtCxx66pkTuNKcF0TPlJpQYxdNPINbpvD-k0Hd2US4_uzMxUU2QMj5LqSvx261_vmhuXSo8/s1600-h/SuperStock_1557R-298804.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIqf6drFxpDq1JVAIwXlEuaGVyUPsUE0fkrVq3kL7Ibo0090Fltj1OCoxNJ0CKQELLYwFnXtCxx66pkTuNKcF0TPlJpQYxdNPINbpvD-k0Hd2US4_uzMxUU2QMj5LqSvx261_vmhuXSo8/s200/SuperStock_1557R-298804.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226539835056999026" /></a><br /><br />"Hot boys?" Thunder Thigh asked, as she looked around. "I see no flab, no rolls, no double or triple chins. Where is this hotness you speak of? All I see is fitness, the epitome of all evil." Suddenly, she saw something, on on her face came a look of total fear. "Good God...the Sit and Be Fitters!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge9-oIxfHRUnXgKOEHbFAWY9ltOjR-tfd45y6JeK15sjEfpioWrbbYMgGF1pVapwDFSRq9TViOnGnjwIKJGQeqvNohWfVRRJxjkapfPGp2EEfnxv-LL6I23UaRTf1NSIumrv7g7wrn6Uw/s1600-h/sit.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEge9-oIxfHRUnXgKOEHbFAWY9ltOjR-tfd45y6JeK15sjEfpioWrbbYMgGF1pVapwDFSRq9TViOnGnjwIKJGQeqvNohWfVRRJxjkapfPGp2EEfnxv-LL6I23UaRTf1NSIumrv7g7wrn6Uw/s400/sit.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226174927543687602" /></a><br /><br />"Who are they?" I asked.<br /><br />"They are the henchmen of my arch-nemesis. Evil seniors of doom who exercise while sitting down! That must mean that he must be here." She pointed her finger towards the back of the gym as she saw him. "The Stair Master!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicMw-TUZsbCfUTrfYFFtggrSxeD-pSkF3AFIdLH70EEKGMP1HRSA9GmQ7jmh-7r6YePeSIxrJS6Jp4BcR_1jUDzp4G_NohAfHNoKqMYlh0aW9YEtm_E5Ir6DJ0I4gsQt2qNvwp2NdLjeU/s1600-h/stairmaster.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicMw-TUZsbCfUTrfYFFtggrSxeD-pSkF3AFIdLH70EEKGMP1HRSA9GmQ7jmh-7r6YePeSIxrJS6Jp4BcR_1jUDzp4G_NohAfHNoKqMYlh0aW9YEtm_E5Ir6DJ0I4gsQt2qNvwp2NdLjeU/s400/stairmaster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226175289116133186" /></a><br /><br />"Mwahaha," the Stair Master cackled evilly. "Greetings, Thunder Thighs. I see you've walked right into my trap."<br /><br />"What trap? We came here voluntarily. You didn't lure us here," she responded.<br /><br />"It's a figure of speech!" he shouted. "Sit and Be Fitters, <i>kill</i> them!"<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjicg7qBDncq7_Tq56AfTevd4KON-ezZRNQN5Ru2NpEr2z6TTPq3cxKsjNKCL0NSiQrmMdohkUE3PRjUSI4bR8OIGfZ7suMIuNtmPkcWieGMeIVOCnDXTLlUuFUVE2J9_zqwjcaZT9IyGo/s1600-h/sit.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjicg7qBDncq7_Tq56AfTevd4KON-ezZRNQN5Ru2NpEr2z6TTPq3cxKsjNKCL0NSiQrmMdohkUE3PRjUSI4bR8OIGfZ7suMIuNtmPkcWieGMeIVOCnDXTLlUuFUVE2J9_zqwjcaZT9IyGo/s400/sit.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226176461043939890" /></a><br /><br />"...."<br /><br />"What'd he say?"<br /><br />"Get who?"<br /><br />"Where are they?" <br /><br />The Stair Master shook his head in disgust. "They're behind you," he informed them.<br /><br />"Eh?" one responded. "Well, give us a few minutes to turn our chairs around to face them, then we'll attack."<br /><br />As the old people slowly turned their chairs, Thunder Thighs sprung into action. "Thunder Thighs, activate!" she shouted as she slapped the flab of her legs together. What resulted was a thunderous sound of thunder that shook through the whole gym. The Sit and Be Fitters all fell over.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF2A3P8bv3vJ7c-CauJOI4aVH6ifob0FNjfetXTS2uH_92PS8Yh_3UW3CNhi0Qz5qVQbaywgTHkJn5e0bf9kU7BPuLfOXWr-D12xdPk_zqXcZB1h2Qh7OnyrECvy6lVxZEIFBf-22INt4/s1600-h/Lifecall-1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF2A3P8bv3vJ7c-CauJOI4aVH6ifob0FNjfetXTS2uH_92PS8Yh_3UW3CNhi0Qz5qVQbaywgTHkJn5e0bf9kU7BPuLfOXWr-D12xdPk_zqXcZB1h2Qh7OnyrECvy6lVxZEIFBf-22INt4/s320/Lifecall-1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226177834676743282" /></a>"Help," one pleaded, "we've fallen down and we can't get up!"<br /><br />"Don't worry," another added, "I've got Life Alert!"<br /><br />While the seniors were trying to figure out how to work their Life Alert alarms, Thunder Thighs charged the Stair Master. She lept in the air, ready to slap together her thighs again and destroy her enemy. But before she could, the Stair Master grabbed her! He forced her onto his stairs, and held her there as he activated them, forcing her into stair-walking exercise!<br /><br />"No!" Thunder Thighs wailed. "Exercise is my one weakness! My flab...it'll get toned! My power of thunder won't work without my flab!"<br /><br />"Haha, yes, feel the burn!" the Stair Master responded evilly.<br /><br />Now, it was all going to come down to me. I knew I couldn't just kill the Stair Master. If I did, he might go out of control, and destroy Thunder Thighs' flab forever. No, I'd have to handle this situation delicately...<br /><br />I shoved Thunder Thighs off the stairs and got on myself. I threw her some leftover brains and ordered her to eat it to regain the strength of her flab as I began exercising.<br /><br />"What's this?" the Stair Master said. "Are you sacrificing yourself for her? A noble venture, but you shall regret it when you see the shapely, toned butt that I give you!"<br /><br />"Ooooh, really? I've always wanted a toned butt!" I responded with delight.<br /><br />"Wait a minute," the Stair Master said with fear in his voice. "Are you using me...for good?"<br /><br />"Heck yeah!"<br /><br />"NOOoooOOoocoOOoOO! Being used for good is my only weakness! How did you know?!" And suddenly, the Stair Master exploded.<br /><br />"NOOoOOOocoOooOO!" I shouted, "my butt isn't toned yet!"<br /><br />Pouting, I helped Thunder Thighs to her feet. We walked away from the gym, victorious.<br /><br />"Sylar," she began, "you saved my life. You know what it is to be a true gladiator."<br /><br />"Hey, thanks! But I have one question. Can I see what you look like under your mask?"<br /><br />"I owe my life to you. Of course I will reveal my secret."<br /><br />And with that, she pulled off her mask.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXVc4UkM6cl2pKTxfSZwyjA1dPyTzMDS_6VlS7gr0evRL_eO2eOg6kGCadvEh9mUAhR3rhdyxTTKrYEGEwdfvCQ4CsLm-_AbhNB572-lT4jhgE8Y87baTvfelIscTPme_wk_TA_NWjV6g/s1600-h/hillary_clinton.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXVc4UkM6cl2pKTxfSZwyjA1dPyTzMDS_6VlS7gr0evRL_eO2eOg6kGCadvEh9mUAhR3rhdyxTTKrYEGEwdfvCQ4CsLm-_AbhNB572-lT4jhgE8Y87baTvfelIscTPme_wk_TA_NWjV6g/s400/hillary_clinton.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5226181317174191794" /></a><br /><br />No wonder she wore one.Sylarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09837908664792644151noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-28217810665767630502008-07-21T18:47:00.003-05:002008-07-22T05:54:10.881-05:00Challenge 10<div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;">The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be</span></div><br /><p></p><br /><p><a href="http://img355.imageshack.us/img355/2703/lgs3anim3ob2.gif"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://img355.imageshack.us/img355/2703/lgs3anim3ob2.gif" border="0" /></a></p><p><br /><br /><br />It’s down to the Final Three, Gladiators. Congratulations on making it this far.<br /><br />There is just this one thing though.<br /><br />I don’t think you three really fully understand and appreciate what it’s like to be a contestant in the Intergalactic Gladiator Entertainment.<br /><br />That’s why I’m assigning each of you to tag along with a gladiator for a week so you can see how it’s done.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixyQJ4QlYj-v5OK7fZEGeP19-nUvvUOlF9vAkKeAf5yBVAcZhJ8Pvo_l6YheEgWr9NWZYWOrGetUfkSIXVD6nw0d25C0wvOOLZA05laBpI6PJMqd75NgJwB1ZoCZPAiUwFz318l9boP84/s1600-h/swell.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225612682688059954" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixyQJ4QlYj-v5OK7fZEGeP19-nUvvUOlF9vAkKeAf5yBVAcZhJ8Pvo_l6YheEgWr9NWZYWOrGetUfkSIXVD6nw0d25C0wvOOLZA05laBpI6PJMqd75NgJwB1ZoCZPAiUwFz318l9boP84/s320/swell.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />West, you get to hang with the Giant Swell.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiluK4CbS7VSjqwEKdXj9_k0kYtzZ6_UZ3_gufXqaSms1gJ9cHAD6asG-WMVJdMpwrs4xwETwNJApFlWBlxw4DJpwjoX6TJeJyQws-Hj4FYvQ2SHqGaTPF3Zw1S1SmB6ld1GryxVviLwBA/s1600-h/thunder.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225612686910769698" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiluK4CbS7VSjqwEKdXj9_k0kYtzZ6_UZ3_gufXqaSms1gJ9cHAD6asG-WMVJdMpwrs4xwETwNJApFlWBlxw4DJpwjoX6TJeJyQws-Hj4FYvQ2SHqGaTPF3Zw1S1SmB6ld1GryxVviLwBA/s320/thunder.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Sylar, you will accompany Thunder Thighs.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7245/1436/320/bone.jpg"><img style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7245/1436/320/bone.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Bennett are to tag along with Bone Grinder. OK, technically he’s not a combatant any more as he’s retired and all and of course, he’s not quite all there upstairs. But he needs the money and we figured he was here the last two years, so why not feature him once more.<br /><br />Who knows what excitement you’ll face while with these Gladiators, maybe you’ll help fight thir arch enemies or even get to wash out their trunks. It’ll be an exciting few days though, that’s for sure.<br /><br />And in an interesting twist, all of the competitors from Last Gladiator Standing III are going to judge. That’s right, everyone you kicked out now has a say in who will be the final two. </p><p><br /></p><div style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0em; PADDING-RIGHT: 5px; BORDER-TOP: 0em; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; BACKGROUND: url(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v701/Artiki/web_images/hinchey_nav2.gif) white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0em; COLOR: black; PADDING-TOP: 5px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0em">Are you out of space in your own home? Don’t have a place to put all of your stuff and you just can’t move to a bigger place?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMdxWlqPfHjdFZqG_-i4U8wXK9aaWEfYEr_l02LaqbdML5QT9EfGqfccDkz4SZLtUY0I-XhtUzxRmgjiV9VfJ9UilH2AftDAImVpvPepPzhSqBp9tE_kt6lAU3zuRF4IL_T9IVw5zD7e4/s1600-h/cramped.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225616677827517602" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMdxWlqPfHjdFZqG_-i4U8wXK9aaWEfYEr_l02LaqbdML5QT9EfGqfccDkz4SZLtUY0I-XhtUzxRmgjiV9VfJ9UilH2AftDAImVpvPepPzhSqBp9tE_kt6lAU3zuRF4IL_T9IVw5zD7e4/s320/cramped.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Let Gallifreian Interiors can help you out!<br /><br />Using our patented space/time technology, we can make your house go from this:<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-ZmkVLSnyh_Fx9mhgn_SbtHijdAvT1ApKZykJU40CiCyKMD-HA-9_VamVzrAG1HHp7lqNSsf06YmZpwF4Mkh8ZWYhhbJ0DsPxbbhZ-QAoSL5YAhgH4Y7rvgTB1KFnH1suD-yjRwo81xw/s1600-h/cramped1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225616680018001346" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-ZmkVLSnyh_Fx9mhgn_SbtHijdAvT1ApKZykJU40CiCyKMD-HA-9_VamVzrAG1HHp7lqNSsf06YmZpwF4Mkh8ZWYhhbJ0DsPxbbhZ-QAoSL5YAhgH4Y7rvgTB1KFnH1suD-yjRwo81xw/s320/cramped1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />To this!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHgOvRlQ6hyphenhyphenzXm1zrBuDhxzDyG3G7Bs1iM4DQd-hDK439dkhDE7XtKgWJU8NyIlI19MV_H_1U0BhVLwNcaEQdAJQmSf_BHS96bZE7feDfPPY8MqF-t9JeuHozx2c9KHB6F28mBDOrnpNY/s1600-h/cramped2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225616687413608482" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHgOvRlQ6hyphenhyphenzXm1zrBuDhxzDyG3G7Bs1iM4DQd-hDK439dkhDE7XtKgWJU8NyIlI19MV_H_1U0BhVLwNcaEQdAJQmSf_BHS96bZE7feDfPPY8MqF-t9JeuHozx2c9KHB6F28mBDOrnpNY/s320/cramped2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Gallifreian Interiors can do wonders in your garage as well, giving you the space that you need.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpywG2lNEYnYSyFE5xLIzSLp7JOwNvI_cOxZz0oVAg-0N6kjf5ZQbFbgqwGAzsN7IvgYU6raBqIKq63GHTeayIodkGRnpXuxv3eW70gaYJ74r_kBzzcokPpNS_6J1cQ7J3W1Fzo-a9ABE/s1600-h/cramped3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225616688996516866" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpywG2lNEYnYSyFE5xLIzSLp7JOwNvI_cOxZz0oVAg-0N6kjf5ZQbFbgqwGAzsN7IvgYU6raBqIKq63GHTeayIodkGRnpXuxv3eW70gaYJ74r_kBzzcokPpNS_6J1cQ7J3W1Fzo-a9ABE/s320/cramped3.jpg" border="0" /></a> Before.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitI8kFbLZJtTxYiEidQlOQ1ZAbKKVZi_ToTofspvLS5Vo_8mp0FDpq505scEwxNVfnyAVdS9YePzZIpMC8IWPuqPdlJ0qKKCllF2UYoQuDEHFKgTSXxmjimoiPt2BlAFrMkKOPbjejJVw/s1600-h/cramped4.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5225616690411003906" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitI8kFbLZJtTxYiEidQlOQ1ZAbKKVZi_ToTofspvLS5Vo_8mp0FDpq505scEwxNVfnyAVdS9YePzZIpMC8IWPuqPdlJ0qKKCllF2UYoQuDEHFKgTSXxmjimoiPt2BlAFrMkKOPbjejJVw/s320/cramped4.jpg" border="0" /></a>After.<br /><br />Make your home as big as you want, call Gallifreian Interiors at 800-TIME-LORD today.<br /><br />That’s 800-TIME-LORD.<br /><br />Call Gallifreian Interiors today, operators are standing by.<br /><br />You’ll say “It’s Fantastic!”<br /><br /></div><p></span></p>Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-72730419718361728692008-07-21T15:15:00.003-05:002008-07-21T15:17:47.372-05:00Challenge 9, the vote<div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;">The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be</span></div><br /><p></p><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4if1ODSCNTTHflyVszbPNXTHxt6HsVVRzy2u27Cr3waVxDsqbpKLyX4wUBtASLgG91x_ketjEAfetoItNYCQAK0ZeyNcU_qBRvi3ERNry3xu1zl2JWK-rg-PdiNpJ1su3TsiG2NxLuk/s320/LGSIII.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4if1ODSCNTTHflyVszbPNXTHxt6HsVVRzy2u27Cr3waVxDsqbpKLyX4wUBtASLgG91x_ketjEAfetoItNYCQAK0ZeyNcU_qBRvi3ERNry3xu1zl2JWK-rg-PdiNpJ1su3TsiG2NxLuk/s320/LGSIII.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Well Gladiators, it didn't take the Scooby Doo gang to figure this one out. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Kon-El, you are not the Last Gladiator Standing, goodbye.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIzs82RzVfgSGw6WzHw0LMCBTDpI0FwiVx2WKEqG6OQOrvx2O-SP48uZF9QIrRt4XAxv1Qmw91apRvHBeuyxKnqLN1-LaPDmfyTFkAm6d5R0B5vGTKy85IkJBf4EKXJedeBDucW0K_UmMp/s200/kon.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: ;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIzs82RzVfgSGw6WzHw0LMCBTDpI0FwiVx2WKEqG6OQOrvx2O-SP48uZF9QIrRt4XAxv1Qmw91apRvHBeuyxKnqLN1-LaPDmfyTFkAm6d5R0B5vGTKy85IkJBf4EKXJedeBDucW0K_UmMp/s200/kon.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Stay tuned for the next challenge.Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-81007934930118029152008-07-20T17:58:00.003-05:002008-07-20T18:24:02.812-05:00Mission 9 - The Wiener4 Posts.<br /><br />I told you what I was looking for. I told you I wanted to be amused. But did any of you give it to me?<br /><br />2 of you did. 2 of you am I very disappointed with.<br /><br />Bennet - You must think your bullet proof because you insulted me and didn't do it in a smart way or funny way. I certainly didn't find any humor in the rest of your post. Not one chuckle or slight pleasure did I take in it. I am gravely disappointed. You didn't win.<br /><br />West - What do you think this is, High School? I am not some lowly paid public servant who's wasting his time waiting for the day when one of my students puts my life out of its misery by shooting me. At the start of this show you actually tried to put something together that was amusing and different. But now your just going through the motions. Consider yourself lucky that you got this far.<br /><br />Kon-El - I wanted to love your post. I really did. You made me laugh my morning glass of Soy milk though my nose. You added everything and your jailbait cousin too. I laughed at the Tony Stark drinking in his armor stuff. Good choice with your robot cause K-9 gets rebuilt by The Doctor once a decade. Yet there is a a "BUT" coming.<br />Because your post was so long it drifted and I wasn't able to follow it around your Joker-isation. I had to read it twice. It pains me to not give you the win because you did have the funniest moment of all the posts and I realise that others will keep their pact and stick together to vote you out. Sorry Kon you didn't win.<br /><br />And the Winner of Mission 9 is.....<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SYLAR</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5kF9_6NcQBhAvWB8MSOYBBOMAGaNcbfxovQYkSY56Wui_Xgn75lBym82NTK0w5txtUw5SFRjvPmxxVuLu5cF5rquL9f2frZzO0tFewtSqV1dhKTo1jwdpkMjhR99F074ExW_AeLDvg8o/s400/sylarprincess.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 139px; height: 173px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5kF9_6NcQBhAvWB8MSOYBBOMAGaNcbfxovQYkSY56Wui_Xgn75lBym82NTK0w5txtUw5SFRjvPmxxVuLu5cF5rquL9f2frZzO0tFewtSqV1dhKTo1jwdpkMjhR99F074ExW_AeLDvg8o/s400/sylarprincess.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Yep Sylar won.<br /><br />His post was funny and it had no LOL's to piss me off.<br />He had stupid physical humor and thought outside the box when it came to the armor. His pictures were funny and his pacing and timing was clean.<br /><br />You have come a long way from the start Sylar. Keep improving and maybe you'll win.captain komahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13847486048090833167noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-9376166299292530132008-07-17T22:48:00.009-05:002008-07-17T22:57:51.002-05:00Ch. 9: West vs. Summer CinemaI soared through the stratosphere of Hacknor, surveying the chaos below. My task was to don the metallic, almost robotic suit of Iron Man. As Nietzsche warned, I would become like the monsters I fought.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg28XkOMLiYxRUcS5AyX7QJVTb65KpJuA0fvyvGDGO65FdzsQeVFGMaaVbVu-6Kni6tcNJWZ667yUqTt2S6CXPAotB6yCjYstHqjFqQHmSqxpy2xHk1gLHob75BrZXCh6RhHH6XWQs_1Cwu/s1600-h/hancock.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224196414797076402" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg28XkOMLiYxRUcS5AyX7QJVTb65KpJuA0fvyvGDGO65FdzsQeVFGMaaVbVu-6Kni6tcNJWZ667yUqTt2S6CXPAotB6yCjYstHqjFqQHmSqxpy2xHk1gLHob75BrZXCh6RhHH6XWQs_1Cwu/s200/hancock.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />To seek the suit of Iron Man, I returned to Earth through the legendary Fire Island portal I used a few challenges ago. Hancock waited for me outside his favorite liquor store in LA.<br /><br />“I heard you were running a hit on Iron Man,” he said. “Da~mn! Old Tony Stark’s drunker than I am and he still gets all the chicks. Every time I mack on some honey it turns out to be the end of the world or something. It’s just not right. Let’s take that suit of his, boy!”<br /><br />Hancock led me to Stark’s domain, nestled alongside the California coast. Inside, we saw the Joker holding a gun to the head of Stark’s assistant, Pepper Potts. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ3lIaWbZirGnBqaVvH_A9WfhhhGSZQ4Nao6YpX3UeG5dBHnEjjtaImcXQwjGOSy6VkDQSOMd7HDWKRYl-DOYE6zjEnxlX7XA1UIh5JfcSyPGI40bSIqyLfWq9tcf-ZxL2QAGgiJmTo7e7/s1600-h/iron-man-site-pepper-potts.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224196675074308978" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ3lIaWbZirGnBqaVvH_A9WfhhhGSZQ4Nao6YpX3UeG5dBHnEjjtaImcXQwjGOSy6VkDQSOMd7HDWKRYl-DOYE6zjEnxlX7XA1UIh5JfcSyPGI40bSIqyLfWq9tcf-ZxL2QAGgiJmTo7e7/s200/iron-man-site-pepper-potts.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />“No!” Hancock said as he charged at t<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoFPgr1yAJ9CbSyGy5QYtPNN7OuJ32jRZbtOG3IH8GdQ2WFhQfgAwbihtHNAPr_dhnxKprg2zlS89nFhjKdvJ0QWZxpaAgmd1pvYZ4s-pUxDpgBfPsl-xsMXTt9ZeeAb4lvvNXzmBXGz1B/s1600-h/joker_13.jpg"></a>he Joker, who shot at him as he pushed Ms. Potts aside. She was just a cardboard cut-out, used to lure Hancock into t<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTRmKnDpFbC4_aOAmx-TcVS4hJB7hIQmW0RP32F8RBXN2x6Tu8bPpWTcBVUIWKjhlEUwZJAb9CAfxkp75umfi6d39gnqSrIbzslJtgVacIIKjYUwz9H1eTTLdQ6gNwWFIkXWXInBR7BM2S/s1600-h/joker_wizardfull.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224198229665033730" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTRmKnDpFbC4_aOAmx-TcVS4hJB7hIQmW0RP32F8RBXN2x6Tu8bPpWTcBVUIWKjhlEUwZJAb9CAfxkp75umfi6d39gnqSrIbzslJtgVacIIKjYUwz9H1eTTLdQ6gNwWFIkXWXInBR7BM2S/s200/joker_wizardfull.jpg" border="0" /></a>his lair (apparently, women are Hancock’s kryptonite). The Joker beat Hancock with a rubber chicken until he fell unconscious.<br /><br />The Joker slung the unconscious Hancock over his shoulder and cried out, “He’ll be the perfect minion once the Scarecrow brainwashes him! Take care, Westy boy, and don’t take any wooden nickels!”<br /><br />That was bad news, but I couldn’t be concerned. Others could handle that; my focus remained on Hacknor and the game. In the basement laboratory, I found Tony Stark lying dead in a pool of his own vomit, an empty bottle of Jack Daniels by his side. His gleaming iron suit hung in a glass case behind him.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBoaZQv9FFpZ1H1pHPE_pehv6xQQ9CZM7mcQD06YKKbXRzfKlcWOhNWJulzQiZbqi1SfCLpBbkGXwCvlK-58Yl1dNmfw0PG8qX5ea6mBQG7u1nSOg-D3DdPKzNnn3uUeXBcLCg0Pkpk_gd/s1600-h/untitled.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224197188359739378" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBoaZQv9FFpZ1H1pHPE_pehv6xQQ9CZM7mcQD06YKKbXRzfKlcWOhNWJulzQiZbqi1SfCLpBbkGXwCvlK-58Yl1dNmfw0PG8qX5ea6mBQG7u1nSOg-D3DdPKzNnn3uUeXBcLCg0Pkpk_gd/s200/untitled.bmp" border="0" /></a><br />I put on the suit and tried out its weapons. Pew! Pew! Pew! I shot holes in the laboratory walls. I h<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_q5Y6fgiiaOnYTSbZComxaFkaf24vAC_WMEBC4alw9lTDTbJ4JkFQxBCp87mbB8tPNC2X_VWIcDJxqqMS8bH3XqY31DOY20KJSlpvFaHMOqNOHnYaitSDMsFHxHkb2spVdh8a0UTXXYin/s1600-h/im-fistsmall.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224197502300771602" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_q5Y6fgiiaOnYTSbZComxaFkaf24vAC_WMEBC4alw9lTDTbJ4JkFQxBCp87mbB8tPNC2X_VWIcDJxqqMS8bH3XqY31DOY20KJSlpvFaHMOqNOHnYaitSDMsFHxHkb2spVdh8a0UTXXYin/s200/im-fistsmall.jpg" border="0" /></a>eard something whimper. I accidentally shot some monster. I took pity on the poor alien-like thing, and mercifully ended its life with another blast, this time to the head.<br /><br />Taking Iron Man’s suit, I returned to Hacknor and flew between the two armies. “Telmarines,” I said, “Hacknor has no quarrel with you. Return to Narnia and destroy the Pevensie bastards.” Seriously, I hate those kids. I hate them and their robotic devotion to that stupid talking lion. Anyway, I continued. “Golden Army, cease your battle. The Telmarines will leave.”<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir8FA9mFYtrJoIoFRyAN2vch30OgaOXNHYtYk-xVJYxS2-MD5jq3buITXTl68IOTGuprAxvM5KjjB_E3UK5dsSFUpeK1wHK59BIuxjCZoMOrydR-T24mgljUuhXQOSZWHrycJFqWOYI32P/s1600-h/narnia-guide-Telmarines.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224197695692709858" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir8FA9mFYtrJoIoFRyAN2vch30OgaOXNHYtYk-xVJYxS2-MD5jq3buITXTl68IOTGuprAxvM5KjjB_E3UK5dsSFUpeK1wHK59BIuxjCZoMOrydR-T24mgljUuhXQOSZWHrycJFqWOYI32P/s200/narnia-guide-Telmarines.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />A Telmarine warrior spoke. “We cannot return to Narnia until we destroy this army. Their gold will help us pay the costs of war with Narnia, and they are but clockwork men.”<br /><br />“Clockwork men? Like robots? Hell, I’ll be glad to help you fight them.”<br /><br />With Iron Man’s suit, I blew away the Golden Army, and helped load the Telmarines’ horses with the precious debris.<br /><br />“Good luck! Destroy Narnia and turn it into an alien paradise!”<br /><br />In the now empty field, slick with the blood of a few fallen Telmarines, I stripped myself of that awesom<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlooucV2obhRfNlUqwBCYC5I3qUa2e7b4emSrfPIW0OO68zE82YqIMpLT7JsbLopPLy4AFbXOAyjmyaVYX7QVCfbAkXZuDAP3-hFu5W8MLS7QlPjGHw7lVgDMxY7FObZURMMdIXzXCPsKJ/s1600-h/pixar_walle.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224197909062103234" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlooucV2obhRfNlUqwBCYC5I3qUa2e7b4emSrfPIW0OO68zE82YqIMpLT7JsbLopPLy4AFbXOAyjmyaVYX7QVCfbAkXZuDAP3-hFu5W8MLS7QlPjGHw7lVgDMxY7FObZURMMdIXzXCPsKJ/s200/pixar_walle.jpg" border="0" /></a>e, loathsome iron suit and dropped from the highest height I could fly to.<br /><br />A small robot came to clear away the pieces of the broken suit. By this time I had enough of robots and the robotic, so I scooped up that pathetic little unit and destroyed it as well.<br /><br />Destroying robots is my destiny.Westhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05183103128403640972noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-33251872076183511252008-07-17T22:44:00.009-05:002008-07-18T07:55:22.067-05:00Mission Nine: The Horn-Rimmed Hero's Journey<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIANBcmQNNI/AAAAAAAAA7U/6P16hnMgnbA/s1600-h/computer.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIANBcmQNNI/AAAAAAAAA7U/6P16hnMgnbA/s320/computer.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224189886257444050" width="180"/></a>There I was reading our next challenge when a little robot came up to me with a flower. "Aw, you must be the cute little robot Jon mentioned." <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIANQA1XhTI/AAAAAAAAA7c/OhORqsLY8jM/s1600-h/wall-e-boot-plant.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIANQA1XhTI/AAAAAAAAA7c/OhORqsLY8jM/s320/wall-e-boot-plant.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224190136502682930" width="130"/></a>I grabbed the flower, tossed it in the trash. The little guy looked up at me with his mechanical puppy eyes. "Oh, don't give me that. It was just a stupid plant."<br /><br />"EEEEEeeeeEEVVVVVV," it chirped. <br /><br />I could tell this little guy had a speech impediment. Luckily, a shutdown switch was visible on his back, so I flipped it. As he powered down, he made a low buzzing sound before becoming completely stationary and silent. <br /><br /> "Now, when I'm done with this challenge, I'll gut you for computer parts," I said heading out of the barracks. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIAOq4QlwtI/AAAAAAAAA70/GUES8dINL4k/s1600-h/will-smith-john-hancock.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIAOq4QlwtI/AAAAAAAAA70/GUES8dINL4k/s320/will-smith-john-hancock.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224191697569039058" width="210" /></a>"Hey," I said to the nearby bum. "Are you drunk?"<br /><br />"Mmmmm," he groaned.<br /><br />"And are you a hero?"<br /><br />"Mmmmmmm."<br /><br />"Good! Tell me where I can find some Mystic Iron Armor." <br /><br />He held his hand up at me and said, "Leave me alone."<br /><br />"I can't. I need the Mystic Iron Armor to save Hacknor. You have to tell me where it is."<br /><br />"Too bad. I only work on Independence Day," he replied going back to sleep.<br /><br />"It is Independence Day," I said.<br /><br />He looked up in the sky. "Nah." He slid his beanie over his eyes.<br /><br />"It is. Aliens are attacking! You're the only man left alive! Robots are becoming self-aware!"<br /><br />He just ignored me. I wouldn't be able to find this Mystic Iron Armor on my own, and going without it would likely be a huge time saver, which would displease Koma. I'd have to get this guy to help me.<br /><br />I came back an hour later with a friend of mine. "Hit it, Alfonso!"<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIAOJVmkteI/AAAAAAAAA7s/uFTNNd4IANE/s1600-h/125635__alfonso_l.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIAOJVmkteI/AAAAAAAAA7s/uFTNNd4IANE/s320/125635__alfonso_l.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224191121330320866" /></a>Alfonso began singing "It's Not Unusual".<br /><br />"Turn him off!" The drunken hero cried.<br /><br />"Sorry, he's already got his hips swinging. There's no stopping him now."<br /><br />"Fine! I'll tell you where it is. Just shut him up. You got something to write on?"<br /><br />I felt around in my pockets. It was hard to believe, but I was all out of paper. Luckily, The Professor, having been voted out of this competition was panhandling close by. "So," I said to him, "this is why you pretend to be crippled?" <br /><br />Some of the passersby looked accusingly at the bald teacher. "I'm not pretending," he lied. <br /><br />"Right." I had The Haitian push him out of his wheelchair. He stayed true to the role as he wallowed around on the sidewalk. "Relax, you'll get enough donations for a new one," I said rolling it away.<br /><br />The drunken hero used his fingernails to carve a map into the back of the wheelchair. Not only did I now have directions, but I had a conveyance for The Haitian, who can get huffy if he has to walk long distances on a mission. <br /><br />I shot Alfonso in the knee cap, but that didn't stop his singing, it only made him use a higher pitch. The drunken hero looked at me sternly. I quickly shot him in the belly. That shut him up.<br /><br />"Alright, let's get going." The Haitian gleefully jumped into the wheelchair and we were off.<br /><br />Trying to follow directions drawn by a drunk is difficult, but we arrived at the location of the Mystic Iron Armor.<br /><br />"Well, there it is. That was easy," I said, parking The Haitian. "I'll just go put it on and then we'll save Hacknor."<br /><br />As I approached the suit, the ground began to shake. The Abomination came running at me, just as we were warned. I screamed, "Help me, The Haitian! I'm under attack."<br /><br />He shouted, "Run away!" and began rolling his wheels as fast as his arms could.<br /><br />The Abomination hit me and I was knocked a good 40 feet away. The Abomination approached me as I stood up. I looked at him. He didn't look so tough. In fact he was a little fluffy. Then, I realized my glasses were broken. I quickly grabbed my backup pair from my inside jacket pocket and put them on. The Abomination was as frightening as ever. He wound up for a punch.<br /><br />As his fist came at me, I managed to jump out of the way. Or I thought I had. While midair, I realized that I had been hit again. However, from that altitude I noticed a Sarlacc pit in the distance.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIANo696WoI/AAAAAAAAA7k/EgFs_cJ8lKY/s1600-h/sarlacc.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIANo696WoI/AAAAAAAAA7k/EgFs_cJ8lKY/s400/sarlacc.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224190564424637058" /></a><br />After I landed, I picked myself up and made a run for the Sarlacc. The Abomination chased after me. I jumped into the pit and cried, "Go go gadget heli--wait a minute! I'm not Inspector Gadget!" <br /><br />The Abomination jumped in after me.<br /><br />As I slid down the sandy side of the Sarlacc pit, a large tentacle grabbed hold of my leg. I tried climbing back up, but couldn't escape its grasp. <br /><br />The Abomination had a similar problem. He was crying for his mother as he was being dragged in. I, however, was crying for my Haitian.<br /><br />"Get over here right now or you can forget about your pension!"<br /><br />There was no reply, and the tentacle was dragging me closer and closer to the beast's mouth. I pulled out my gun and shot the tentacle several times. It finally retreated in pain, but I was still slipping slowly to my second death.<br /><br />"Is that bad guy still alive?" I heard The Haitian call. I looked up to see him leaning over the edge of the pit. I looked down at the Abomination who was about to be eaten by the Sarlacc.<br /><br />"No, he's dead. Throw me a rope!"<br /><br />"He doesn't look dead and I don't have a rope," he replied.<br /><br />I looked back down at The Abomination. The Sarlacc gobbled him up and I shouted back at The Haitian, "Okay, now he's dead! Use the jumper cables for the Professor's wheelchair!"<br /><br />Seconds later a red and a black clamp fell by my face. I reached up with both hands and took hold. <br /><br />I was immediately hit with a high voltage electric charge. In between spasms I yelled at my employee, "Don't....plug it....in....you.....fool!"<br /><br />The charge stopped and I climbed out to safety. Or at least what I thought was safety. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIAPbO30YQI/AAAAAAAAA78/xz4fEFMrikE/s1600-h/joke.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIAPbO30YQI/AAAAAAAAA78/xz4fEFMrikE/s400/joke.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224192528272875778" /></a><br />Some crazy-looking unhappy clown had a gun on us. "Look, I just want the suit. Can't I have the suit?" I asked.<br /><br />"Only if you can answer a riddle," the joyless entertainer replied. "If you get it right, you can have the suit. If you get it wrong, you'll be sucked into the Sarlacc pit!"<br /><br />"Alright, what's the question?"<br /><br />"Can God create a rock so heavy he himself cannot lift it?"<br /><br />"Hmm..." I looked over at The Haitian. "You first."<br /><br />He rubbed his head for moment before finally answering, "Yes."<br /><br />The Joker replied, "Wrongo," and The Haitian flew into the Sarlacc pit.<br /><br />"Oh, no! I'm without a henchman!" I shouted.<br /><br />"You want to answer the question?"<br /><br />"Sure," I thought it over. "Well, let's see...it's a yes or no question....The Haitian already said yes, so that would mean....I'm going to say...." I was about to answer when I had a thought. "Wait! Is it the Rastafarian God or the Flying Spaghetti Monster?"<br /><br />The Joker thought for a second and replied, "Well, I'm not sure." He was quickly sucked into the Sarlacc pit. <br /><br />That left me with zero opposition and I was able to get the Mystic Iron Armor.<br /><br />I donned the special outfit and made my way to the battle. It was like Gettysburg, but with less cannons, which was unfortunate.<br /><br />As I walked up, the soldiers on each side stopped fighting and laughed. "What the heck are you wearing?"<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIARMWgJY9I/AAAAAAAAA8E/OL8iOt3H5kQ/s1600-h/ironman.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIARMWgJY9I/AAAAAAAAA8E/OL8iOt3H5kQ/s400/ironman.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224194471646290898" /></a><br />"It's Mystic," I replied. "Why are you guys fighting anyway?"<br /><br />"Well," one of the Telmarines spoke up, "we wanted to destroy these islands to make way for a really awesome water park and oil rigs, to help global warming."<br /><br />"And we have to stop them!" a Golden soldier shouted. "We can't let these guys destroy the environment."<br /><br />"Well, why not?" I asked.<br /><br />"Because we have to think about our children's futures."<br /><br />"You have children?" I asked.<br /><br />"Well, no. But some people do," it replied.<br /><br />"I have a pet rock!" another called out.<br /><br />"Hmm...well, don't you see all those stars in the sky at night? Many of them have planets orbiting them. So even if the Telmarines destroy Hacknor's environment, you'll have countless planets and unlimitted resources once you master space flight."<br /><br />"Well, can't we fight them anyway?"<br /><br />"Nope. Just enjoy the waterpark. Let your children figure out what to do about the environment."<br /><br />"But I have no children."<br /><br />"I have a pet rock!"<br /><br />"All the more reason not to be concerned," I replied. <br /><br />It seemed I had convinced them. They offered to help build the waterpark and oil rigs. Peace was reached and the next day Hacknor had a really awesome waterpark...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIASwV9uEuI/AAAAAAAAA8U/1X-pQ4O8OLo/s1600-h/waterpark2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIASwV9uEuI/AAAAAAAAA8U/1X-pQ4O8OLo/s400/waterpark2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224196189488812770" /></a><br />...and cute, little, oil-covered sea creatures.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIAR_SLZ_7I/AAAAAAAAA8M/GjxtIbZL6A0/s1600-h/otters+in+oil.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_t_KSMDOgPtw/SIAR_SLZ_7I/AAAAAAAAA8M/GjxtIbZL6A0/s400/otters+in+oil.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224195346658885554" /></a><br />As we all enjoyed the new planetary attraction, The Haitian approached covered in yellowish slime. <br /><br />"Um, you'll probably need to shower first," I advised him. "How'd you survive the Sarlacc?" <br /><br />"Ask Boba Fett."Mr. Bennethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16418603606479190390noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-16517277036632075222008-07-17T21:27:00.008-05:002008-07-18T00:34:06.333-05:00Challenge 9: KonI hear a female voice through my mental fog. “Conner, Conner." <br /> <br />“Uh, What?" It hurts to move. <br /><br />“Conner get up! It's time for the challenge."<br /><br /> Oh yeah I'm on Hacknor it takes me a moment to place the voice, my cousin Supergirl. That's very disappointing. I thought it was a date. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ15b-d91uJdA30-_YLzv-wo2nK9oy82OrgC53UI2OUns-sOetRPO11HQfcwyYrzBzEgpT1lJy-XB3BHc0WcLXcnTii43E51Fe41tm2B7QjEaAxFLOX66IgCVUWNipwA_Aq048Fg8TSPA/s1600-h/Kara.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZ15b-d91uJdA30-_YLzv-wo2nK9oy82OrgC53UI2OUns-sOetRPO11HQfcwyYrzBzEgpT1lJy-XB3BHc0WcLXcnTii43E51Fe41tm2B7QjEaAxFLOX66IgCVUWNipwA_Aq048Fg8TSPA/s320/Kara.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223440018247474994" /></a><br /><br />"G'way!" I respond.<br /><br />“No, I'm not going to 'G'way' until you get up off your "S" and get into this challenge!"<br /><br />“What’s the point?" I ask. “The other three are from the same reality they’ll vote against me."<br /><br /> She slaps me. “You are in the final four, get up an act like you deserve it! I will not have a whiny emo for a cousin got it?"<br /><br />“OW! You’re mean! No wonder you're not dating anyone." <br /><br />“Get to it! They'll be some heroes around to help you, give you spiritual no wait that's not the word moral support. Are you even listening to me?" <br /><br /> “Yeah yeah I'll be visited by spirits." She rolls her eyes, “He’s all yours now." <br /><br /> A huge version of HS shows up. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUEmPjQFtpn3TjcVx3pPKKfydxCQRZxmAbc-CAkt90aJrK-EeeLxsJxWgqW-6d7L5wmW2NlfYjYPhPULDUhpJIs6W9SLtgNGvv7MTHQ8Ye5fB-BLrbCsN4X61KF4RBGN4tn8PI0Br6m-Q/s1600-h/Hellboy.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUEmPjQFtpn3TjcVx3pPKKfydxCQRZxmAbc-CAkt90aJrK-EeeLxsJxWgqW-6d7L5wmW2NlfYjYPhPULDUhpJIs6W9SLtgNGvv7MTHQ8Ye5fB-BLrbCsN4X61KF4RBGN4tn8PI0Br6m-Q/s200/Hellboy.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223458100371608962" /></a> <br /><br /> He kept talking about how to defeat a golden army or something I wasn't paying attention." Okay See you later Hs, I go to the next part of the challenge. The devil guy looks over to Kara “Is there something wrong with his brain?" <br /><br />Kara Sighs." Short answer? Yes."<br /><br /> I ignore them and go to the room where I have to pick up my robot companion." I thought I was gonna get a Wall-E?" I question. <br /><br /> “They’re out of those cousin." Kara smiles. "But you have a choice this sensible metal dog." <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUS7gjnQ2Dy_uuyucHP21h-IQSDcXgPqJDuTVWYpVbkDKtfTe4kvX9v37PcBbzfUSRHcsG6nszMPCo1MEeQmgAb3vRM_TayTpTnB_glqYkk7wo6Z8IOg2gPqa-E28-2Y4zdXBXjJnZFrI/s1600-h/k9.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUS7gjnQ2Dy_uuyucHP21h-IQSDcXgPqJDuTVWYpVbkDKtfTe4kvX9v37PcBbzfUSRHcsG6nszMPCo1MEeQmgAb3vRM_TayTpTnB_glqYkk7wo6Z8IOg2gPqa-E28-2Y4zdXBXjJnZFrI/s200/k9.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223470812653899458" /></a><br /><br /><br /> Some weird half naked dude jumps at me wearing what kind of looks like a dress. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcMJmU0Yzz8By6qsa84T4I1TqHgS2vnirqwYD9P8UKx2ModfjSEyPC1xti9xFuEwGcMk8K43vKzfs02gO0y6X44JPDlq_38kdKGJu5c51gpQn02EKel3z3nIwiIgW3i2gSHfI6DlIu5e4/s1600-h/Dr.+Weird.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcMJmU0Yzz8By6qsa84T4I1TqHgS2vnirqwYD9P8UKx2ModfjSEyPC1xti9xFuEwGcMk8K43vKzfs02gO0y6X44JPDlq_38kdKGJu5c51gpQn02EKel3z3nIwiIgW3i2gSHfI6DlIu5e4/s200/Dr.+Weird.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223473626062473586" /></a>" Or you can have my completely useless Robot! The Rabbot!"<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC2AvKtvSThCQAGHA5EK-Xco9pt2lRugvbupTJMvavCvMlcfQujC0SNosyDdSne8CqNv_3Ndt9LciKXujQ64lupuHw1udBhclXj7kn9ZPlWC9fO7nAi1pVy4WfmLZ_sh_GXY8tEFCCx_U/s1600-h/Rabbot.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC2AvKtvSThCQAGHA5EK-Xco9pt2lRugvbupTJMvavCvMlcfQujC0SNosyDdSne8CqNv_3Ndt9LciKXujQ64lupuHw1udBhclXj7kn9ZPlWC9fO7nAi1pVy4WfmLZ_sh_GXY8tEFCCx_U/s200/Rabbot.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223474673495734546" /></a><br /><br /> Kara looks over at me. “You can listen to your smart relative, who loves you like the little brother she never had.”<br /><br /> Dr. Weird interrupts. “You can spray it in the eyes with perfume because that's how it happened to me! You feel pretty don't you!"<br /><br /> Kara shakes her head. “Or you can take the advice of a raving lunatic."<br /><br /> I took the dog not because off anything Kara said, but because I don't want to lug around a giant metal rabbit that smells like a cheap hooker. It directed me to one of the islands around here.<br /><br /> “There is the Drunken Hero master!" The robot, K-9 announces.<br /><br /> I sigh, " Hancock?" <br /> <br />"Conner Kent!" he spits “What do you want?" <br /><br />“Well Lushy I'd like to know where the magic armor is." <br /><br /> He laughs. “No way have you Superman ripped off”.<br /><br />You've got to be kidding me, and what exactly did he just say? “Me a Superman rip off? Yeah I'm his clone, what's your excuse?" <br /><br /> "What do you mean?" he challenges.<br /><br />“I mean you're just Superman if he was a drunk, and a jerk!" I point out.<br /><br /> He drank some stuff that looked like that weird stuff from Private Hudson's room I drank that time I woke up not really knowing what happened the night before. “Okay lesh fight about it!" Hancock yells.<br /><br /> " Lesh?" I query. <br /><br /> “Shut up!" The superhero with a dirty movie sounding name charges and passes out. Blast! I won't be able to find the armor now! I notice K-9 doing something. “Are you picking his pocket?" <br /><br />“Affirmative master!"<br /><br /> “I doubt you'd find anything... Maybe lice" <br /><br /> “Here is the map to the cave where the armor is being held Master!"<br /><br /> "I stand corrected. Good dog, Hey what is that glowing stuff? " <br /><br /> “Warp Engine fuel master." K-9 announces. <br /><br /> I gasp. “Me and a couple of girls drank that stuff!" <br /><br /> “You are not very bright are you master?" K9 quips.<br /><br />I just grab him up, and fly above the misty oceans to our destination.<br /><br />In front of the cave are Batman, and the Hulk." Man I thought I was being visited by spirits."<br /><br /> The Bat stares. “I can see you've burned out more brain cells partying I can't believe they released the Joker for a game show...Hn this is how you defeat him...” <br /><br /> “Hulk Bored!" The Hulk growls. <br /><br /> Batman puts his head in his hands “You’re supposed to help with him beating the Abomination." <br /><br /> “Hulk says smash Big Ears! Smash Clown Face Hulk hungry!"<br /> “You big green idiot! This kid could be hurt!" The Bat yells before doing something really stupid for a smart guy.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFYvR6JapdR2Q_sYUfR5_xxlis5TDifwOMy9cdQuDjelU3-zxIrVzD2ThYp4Jsb0z-dicFnPCyrygQpFD6RVLWnfG9FSMHuWVnYSts5owlcOR81l0gAU9hlVECg7iA8BgtKvyPW5NKOJo/s1600-h/Bats+hulk.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFYvR6JapdR2Q_sYUfR5_xxlis5TDifwOMy9cdQuDjelU3-zxIrVzD2ThYp4Jsb0z-dicFnPCyrygQpFD6RVLWnfG9FSMHuWVnYSts5owlcOR81l0gAU9hlVECg7iA8BgtKvyPW5NKOJo/s200/Bats+hulk.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223827227498720930" /></a><br /><br /><br /> So while Bats commits suicide,<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUtTcexZ0CF8-nguf4DTsBFOUrKHrK35pwWe5ZTbftzNF3HOc1FXKXmZlQyeJHl8CYKatEA_LSIv2McZ0u8vhdsKWh1Ez8C_1jD0m6Krqgl1UWvxgX3ozOm0JGsc4xATAKGY7Oq_RpO0g/s1600-h/Hulk+Bats.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUtTcexZ0CF8-nguf4DTsBFOUrKHrK35pwWe5ZTbftzNF3HOc1FXKXmZlQyeJHl8CYKatEA_LSIv2McZ0u8vhdsKWh1Ez8C_1jD0m6Krqgl1UWvxgX3ozOm0JGsc4xATAKGY7Oq_RpO0g/s200/Hulk+Bats.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223834792120104578" /></a> <br /><br /> I walk into the dark dank cave." Master Look Out!" K-9 warns as The Joker pops out and sprays me with this gunk " Why so serious Super Dork? Hahahahahaha argh!"<br /><br /> The little metal dog apparently has bite as it zaps the Clown. I smile “Good dog that wasn't so bad." <br /><br /> “Look at your reflection Master." <br /> <br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFp5Hrv5DGrIqSAXZLbBamK1bVFCbUO50RtL36wD0-kEuOwUOaw3uidVisMDHLVBs99warDeHH6mpJiiQBUGYwtI2nPUxrUXhvnjp4S9EUJFH-TjmLDIgvzALiiuXoikUodT0prdJH92U/s1600-h/Joker+Kon.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFp5Hrv5DGrIqSAXZLbBamK1bVFCbUO50RtL36wD0-kEuOwUOaw3uidVisMDHLVBs99warDeHH6mpJiiQBUGYwtI2nPUxrUXhvnjp4S9EUJFH-TjmLDIgvzALiiuXoikUodT0prdJH92U/s200/Joker+Kon.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223841142346493090" /></a><br /><br /> Gah! What's worse is Hahahahaha! I can't stop acting like the Joker; The Abomination thrashes out of the cave towards me. “Ready for a fight punk?"<br /><br /> “Fight in front of the kids?” I blurt out. <br /><br /> “Eh?" Emil looks wary. <br /><br /> “Instead of the fighting we should dance!” I grab him and start ballroom dancing. <br /><br /> He pushes me away. “No way this is too weird I didn't sign up for this! I'm outta here!"<br /><br />“But... If you leave I'll be at mother's before you get back!" I call at him. <br /><br /> “Whatever weirdo!" He yells.<br /><br /> I run to the armor where Tony Stark has it ready. “Wait I thought it was mystic. Hehhahahaha!" <br /><br /> Stark glares. “Whatever Superclown, DR Strange did some goobledy gook. Just take it I have places to be, I've wasted enough time here I'm going to reap the rewards of a successful movie, hot production assistants."<br /><br /> “But how do I work this?" <br /><br /> K9 merged with the armor “I will help master, put it on." Oh yeah this looks normal. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim4BcyMgmGtHZMrTfh3hmyPZn6OKqme65C9AR2NqLGffQsxYNsCOJdtx0VDTdsZGqBPqgFuESGgtCnczRx4wTe7_dvWfuNDYkOyHXCnHWpfpIl1sAd1iBx_5ul6NjCb_sDIXOC_v0fRbQ/s1600-h/Iron+K9.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim4BcyMgmGtHZMrTfh3hmyPZn6OKqme65C9AR2NqLGffQsxYNsCOJdtx0VDTdsZGqBPqgFuESGgtCnczRx4wTe7_dvWfuNDYkOyHXCnHWpfpIl1sAd1iBx_5ul6NjCb_sDIXOC_v0fRbQ/s200/Iron+K9.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223859073041913970" /></a> <br /><br /> I flew using my powers because even though the robot said he'd help I'm gettin' nothing from him but annoying robot talk. Finally I find myself in between The Telemarines, and the Golden Army. Now to get this to work "Fire Repulsors!" <br /><br /> A straw sticks in my mouth and pours vodka into it. “What the? Stark you drunk! I'll get you for this!" Apparently the armor thought that was the command to pour vodka, whiskey, rum, and some kind of wine down my throat.<br /><br /> Oh no the Joker Gas must still be in my system. Probably has Kryptonite in it. It's mixing with the alcohol and it's making everything ...groovy. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXRr-wO9VRY7YTW5shCPbY6OdgAhyphenhyphen6XV-PdeFj3RIQaklu6C3Y-xL9tp6478d7-vIQ6SC6HY9cDjU80sRiTb9DFdUK2SqqHEMPnAB3_JU92YSfsGpimKbx5I2YNF41yOu4hyfLTyaUQt0/s1600-h/Groovy.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXRr-wO9VRY7YTW5shCPbY6OdgAhyphenhyphen6XV-PdeFj3RIQaklu6C3Y-xL9tp6478d7-vIQ6SC6HY9cDjU80sRiTb9DFdUK2SqqHEMPnAB3_JU92YSfsGpimKbx5I2YNF41yOu4hyfLTyaUQt0/s200/Groovy.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224170393691107730" /></a><br /><br /> There were teddy bears, and dancing skeletons every where, then it turned bad. <br /> <br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjs3TQ1kjBg72rUqHsYKhJpRTaEQirb9FzqWMb-1L00ttKwNXsiW6buDjRLphaeU_qfY8STNAgaXazIWSo4fVRGAvm9A5DX18yPMAddVJqGIq68xOtnBsEeV-TIKNmvUdobyFs2bIfB1U/s1600-h/Evil+teddy.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjs3TQ1kjBg72rUqHsYKhJpRTaEQirb9FzqWMb-1L00ttKwNXsiW6buDjRLphaeU_qfY8STNAgaXazIWSo4fVRGAvm9A5DX18yPMAddVJqGIq68xOtnBsEeV-TIKNmvUdobyFs2bIfB1U/s200/Evil+teddy.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224173749298177314" /></a><br /><br /> And the evil skeletons became naughty. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4u3u8Do43hb3NL89KU7e3_h9GUITAn2DdZcxt0oG7a3z14B8b6CCY6ZZO-f5IaIRPx_rUx4rhutCCM5mKtRh1LK7X6_eof9d4vtj_W9yjh7Da4k8e4LHsZ0o-8ss9HkfoyXNgxt_dsmg/s1600-h/skeletor2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4u3u8Do43hb3NL89KU7e3_h9GUITAn2DdZcxt0oG7a3z14B8b6CCY6ZZO-f5IaIRPx_rUx4rhutCCM5mKtRh1LK7X6_eof9d4vtj_W9yjh7Da4k8e4LHsZ0o-8ss9HkfoyXNgxt_dsmg/s200/skeletor2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224174118165707842" /></a><br /><br />Man just goes to show you never trust a hippie. The bears tear into my armor while the skeletons threaten to make me "feel good". I freak out and hit every button firing all the weapons. That destroys a few, and gets me a whole mouth full of liquors. <br /><br /><br /> The bears and the skeletons rip their way into my armor. My fear makes my TK go nuts destroying everything in my way. It also made me pee myself a little. I think the adrenaline made my healing factor kick in because everything went back to normal. <br /><br />There's armored bodies every where. Whoops. I'm gonna get grounded for this. I throw off the last vestiges of the armor and fly home I need a shower, some sleep, and I may need to go to rehab. I keep thinking I forgot something. <br /><br /> Meanwhile at the battle field... “Master I am stuck to the armor its reactor is about to explode! Master? AAAAAHHHHH!!!!"<br /><br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9XBR-Gggv3sxbkGJBeRoYBYqHhiJDNhbD7o8edC3PaAoPlGk2pZPC_ar89DfRAr6j2bNT-V7WyBB_zCSW2cugw2p38ys2CjJgIfFbkb3esHREZ4eMIXVdiyGtvV7RHZVq2B_PyPJjhc8/s1600-h/Blast.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9XBR-Gggv3sxbkGJBeRoYBYqHhiJDNhbD7o8edC3PaAoPlGk2pZPC_ar89DfRAr6j2bNT-V7WyBB_zCSW2cugw2p38ys2CjJgIfFbkb3esHREZ4eMIXVdiyGtvV7RHZVq2B_PyPJjhc8/s200/Blast.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224178764631721570" /></a>Kon-Elhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06977135262569985604noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-73303115054953605642008-07-17T18:38:00.002-05:002008-07-17T18:38:58.101-05:00The Sylar ListOmigod, there's like, so many things to do this challenge! Now, I know I'm notorious (I know that word? I'm surprised, too) for not doing what I'm supposed to do in challenges, but now we're getting down to end, so I figured I better actually listen. So, I wrote myself a list so I wouldn't forget anything!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYJpk4ptYNmFCoDjV75icUKVnRU6f-6BUgSudRCzzWeT_O16Xir5_Oo4FSPl8AHr-pr-w4xdi965PTEziVqufI4HHU92ujvodRxb3jIGuIj-sTaleKe3SaEcu7u9rtqwgVq4kvX_fP6E8/s1600-h/shoppinglist.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYJpk4ptYNmFCoDjV75icUKVnRU6f-6BUgSudRCzzWeT_O16Xir5_Oo4FSPl8AHr-pr-w4xdi965PTEziVqufI4HHU92ujvodRxb3jIGuIj-sTaleKe3SaEcu7u9rtqwgVq4kvX_fP6E8/s400/shoppinglist.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223956304627041458" /></a><br /><br />There! All I had to do was get some brains? Hehe, that's easy, I'll win this challenge for sure! Er, wait a minute, that's my grocery list. Let's try this again...<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL7RK-fhMZSwHuE1CfOe3ZMxZPb4_jP0HpU0tpfXTczDF0m5Gba2M2ypY5JTtZMGWOxyYUO6WGg5bhci-v0LlT02jfgAnWsmQiEUhVw3tXzMa7ytV6dTTvw8R3C_AdnjqjalaQ5K_3kVs/s1600-h/challengelist.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL7RK-fhMZSwHuE1CfOe3ZMxZPb4_jP0HpU0tpfXTczDF0m5Gba2M2ypY5JTtZMGWOxyYUO6WGg5bhci-v0LlT02jfgAnWsmQiEUhVw3tXzMa7ytV6dTTvw8R3C_AdnjqjalaQ5K_3kVs/s400/challengelist.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223956764981983778" /></a><br /><br />That seems better. Now, let's get to it!<br /><br />So, I needed the Mystic Iron Armor, and the Will Smith lookalike, Hancock, knew how to get it. I had to find him! But how? Hmmm. That's tricky. Then I got it! The Hancock Signal! Works for Batman! So, I lit a searchlight, and put a bottle of liquor in front of the beam.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQOqVMpW4Mj-c90e48t9YLrB7wR_UZooa1bpNas05bKTpBpylfb9oAo2Ca1fSvKlxeGEvq_OtFi2E_2J-XZP7PVzqmOFug2pXa_sjLCLbNjzQEwENUnBFDNkK_-SmdWacRrWzIPa8hi34/s1600-h/liquor.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQOqVMpW4Mj-c90e48t9YLrB7wR_UZooa1bpNas05bKTpBpylfb9oAo2Ca1fSvKlxeGEvq_OtFi2E_2J-XZP7PVzqmOFug2pXa_sjLCLbNjzQEwENUnBFDNkK_-SmdWacRrWzIPa8hi34/s400/liquor.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223962587004990210" /></a><br /><br />It wasn't long before the superhero landed in front of me, and snatched the bottle from my hand.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyQ16X7uJksVcQI7dKiDnmngqZ1R0LDXyjztTSTG_lqKvhBMxqzslMaCQGStA5ZE9lE3uirDsmRoJRcxpTzH6MTvASw_t2nFMOd_qs0bAiAtuG4_b46Yy4q83cZYHs3tzE7IsBXrN9FsU/s1600-h/hancockhobo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyQ16X7uJksVcQI7dKiDnmngqZ1R0LDXyjztTSTG_lqKvhBMxqzslMaCQGStA5ZE9lE3uirDsmRoJRcxpTzH6MTvASw_t2nFMOd_qs0bAiAtuG4_b46Yy4q83cZYHs3tzE7IsBXrN9FsU/s400/hancockhobo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224131142113985922" /></a><br /><br />"Hey, like, you're an a-hole," I said to him, appalled at such rude behavior from a good guy!<br /><br />He glared at me. "Call me that one more time," he said.<br /><br />"Ok! A-hole!" I exclaimed with a giggle.<br /><br />He threw me up into the air, and I flew like a birdie! Wheeeeee! I fell back down, and landed in his strong, sexy arms.<br /><br />Clapping my hands gleefully, I said, "That was fun! Again, again!" <br /><br />"Ahem. You didn't say the magic word," he responded.<br /><br />"Please?" I said.<br /><br />Hancock shook his head. <br /><br />"Oh," I responded, figuring out what word he meant, and said, "A-hole!" Up in the air I went again! Yay!<br /><br />Halfway down my xixth trip up into the sky, I remembered my list! I pulled it out. Hmm, now what did I need again? I don't think he has a cow, pork or chicken brain, and he's probably not a store clerk...<br /><br />Oh, wrong list again. I needed him to find me the Mystic Iron Armor!<br /><br />Hancock caught me, and said, "Call me that one more time."<br /><br />"Maybe later, but first, I have a question for you: do you know where the super-cute Mystic Iron Armor is?"<br /><br />"Yeah I know. I can get you there."<br /><br />"Will you get me there through throwing me?" I asked.<br /><br />"Is there any other way?" he responded.<br /><br />I clapped my hands and closed my eyes, waiting for my flight to begin. But it didn't. I opened one eye and glanced at Hancock. He was standing there, staring at me, with his arms folded. <br /><br />I rolled my eyes. "Do I really have to say it again?"<br /><br />Nodding, Hancock said, "Say it, one more time."<br /><br />"Omigod, fine! A-hole!"<br /><br />And with that, Hancock threw me, sending me flying through the air. And suddenly, I landed with a crash.<br /><br />I looked up. In front of me stood the two men, and behind them, multiple sets of Mystic Iron Armors!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihKHF9hq5L52IbeYpOiAEh0ISJ38OdgUL6L6yXaVBW00coOtZhHhg9siL99JaAQ0xu2_UH2jGXu62aOtSG0HExEERhZfTlyor8HZP34Ppt3yqciL5K_yhMRBUOUyxXau74tM1sl7Puubk/s1600-h/jokerbomination.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihKHF9hq5L52IbeYpOiAEh0ISJ38OdgUL6L6yXaVBW00coOtZhHhg9siL99JaAQ0xu2_UH2jGXu62aOtSG0HExEERhZfTlyor8HZP34Ppt3yqciL5K_yhMRBUOUyxXau74tM1sl7Puubk/s400/jokerbomination.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224125781346011314" /></a><br /><br />The one with makeup on had a gun pointed at me. Gosh, that makeup was really caked on. What a skank! "Skank!" I shouted at him.<br /><br />The man cackled maniacally. "Skank? I am the Brain!"<br /><br />"The...<i>Brain</i>?" I started to drool a little. If this guy was called the Brain, imagine how delectible his actual brain must be! "So, you're a supervillain, like me, what power might you have?" I asked, excited at the possibility of eating his brain and stealing a power. I hoped it wasn't the power of skankiness, but looking at his makeup, I was afraid it might be.<br /><br />"Power? Well, uh, you see, I don't really <i>have</i> a power," he responded, scratching his head.<br /><br />"You don't have a power?! Then why are you the Brain if your brain is worthless? They should call <i>this</i> guy the Brain," I said, pointing at the Brawn, "He's got a worthwhile brain that would give me a power! And I'd eat it too, if it wouldn't make me like, totally ugly! But you're <i>called</i> the Brain, even though your brain is good for nothing but giving me thunder thighs!"<br /><br />The Brain totally broke down in tears. I stepped over to the Brawn, and put my arm around him.<br /><br />"So, like, sexy, can I have one of your totally awesome Mystic Iron Armors or what?"<br /><br />"You called me ugly," he said, growling.<br /><br />"Oh, no, no," I responded, "That look totaly works for you, hun. You've got the face for it. Me, my cheeks are too chubby, wouldn't work for me. But you, you're like, totally hot."<br /><br />"The Hulk didn't think so. He beat me up, when all I wanted was love," he said, through tears. He and the Brain held each other and cried. Sheesh, these guys totally had self esteem problems!<br /><br />"The Hulk was wrong! You're sexy, Brawn! And Brain, I'm sure you're good for something. I mean, you're probably smarter than me, or something. I mean, most people don't really care about smartness, myself included, but someone probably does!"<br /><br /><br />The two villains looked at each other, and nodded. Through their tears, they decided that I was worthy for a suit of armor. I put it on.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5kF9_6NcQBhAvWB8MSOYBBOMAGaNcbfxovQYkSY56Wui_Xgn75lBym82NTK0w5txtUw5SFRjvPmxxVuLu5cF5rquL9f2frZzO0tFewtSqV1dhKTo1jwdpkMjhR99F074ExW_AeLDvg8o/s1600-h/sylarprincess.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5kF9_6NcQBhAvWB8MSOYBBOMAGaNcbfxovQYkSY56Wui_Xgn75lBym82NTK0w5txtUw5SFRjvPmxxVuLu5cF5rquL9f2frZzO0tFewtSqV1dhKTo1jwdpkMjhR99F074ExW_AeLDvg8o/s400/sylarprincess.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224125394893945138" /></a><br />"Well, thanks guys," I said to them, "Let's get together and murder some people sometime."<br /><br />And with that, I headed towards the battlefields on Hacknor. I walked to the center of the battle, between the two armies. Now, I was about to totally like, just murder all of them, but I figured I may get in trouble in the competition when my competitors hadn't completed their challenge yet (why must they all procrastinate?!). So, instead, I came up with a totally awesome plan!<br /><br />Luckily for me, I was carrying around a portible Hancock signal. Random, I know. But this time, I made a little modification to it, and then turned it on.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXnkyBKWJyHJzELoG3zxkx-7tL0NGzVL9gt1xSTnAY_I96CnuycqMdlIERaRW0JJJZ9cu86k4mM9bDWsOk_BI_03VU3jFT5CY9nQA58OhRtRnH52ZIa6P6-7zpQkMfZXQbrDYF_apIRsY/s1600-h/hancocksignal.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXnkyBKWJyHJzELoG3zxkx-7tL0NGzVL9gt1xSTnAY_I96CnuycqMdlIERaRW0JJJZ9cu86k4mM9bDWsOk_BI_03VU3jFT5CY9nQA58OhRtRnH52ZIa6P6-7zpQkMfZXQbrDYF_apIRsY/s400/hancocksignal.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224114400698393250" /></a><br /><br />In flew Hancock, landing next to me in between the two armies.<br /><br />"Which one of y'all turned that searchlight on?" he asked, tapping the portible Hancock Signal.<br /><br />I steathily pointed at the Golden Army and the Telmarines.<br /><br />"Why are you pointing at us?" one of the members of the Golden Army asked, "Are you accusing us?" They totally didn't notice my accusation of them!<br /><br />And so, my plan, like totally worked! Hancock started beating up the armies, and would keep them at bay until the other contestants came around to complete the challenge themselves! I didn't have to worry about him murdering them all since he's only PG-13! Challenge complete! <br /><br />Er, wait a minute....<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLxT0I-5nYwxo4pMXnlycnPs8910O5oawiV0DhBFa4NKEbeAZ0phYH4jXxyOsanoPar2C8vnWrZaJK0OMx0juNokzyCM-AnsFbZDew6cW58yYvt3fRKUEQQSmg71-85yrHJ6MGzpmMswk/s1600-h/challengelist2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLxT0I-5nYwxo4pMXnlycnPs8910O5oawiV0DhBFa4NKEbeAZ0phYH4jXxyOsanoPar2C8vnWrZaJK0OMx0juNokzyCM-AnsFbZDew6cW58yYvt3fRKUEQQSmg71-85yrHJ6MGzpmMswk/s400/challengelist2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224115784135751026" /></a><br /><br />There's a box unchecked! That means I didn't do something! Right? I'm not sure. Well, I should probably do it anyways.<br /><br />"Hey, any of you guys have a cute robot?" I asked the peeps getting beat up.<br /><br />"I <i>am</i> a cute robot," a female Telmarine mercenary said, stepping forward. "I am a Terminator. A cyborg with a learning computer, a neural net processor."<br /><br />"Good enough for me," I said with a shrug, and then blewed her up.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKH4qA_Psg3dEp7-4xnXb8DOtLTPGg5Yrd1Qhrml-ZvEf0SZnpoJV7v0Y4MwUckBQQKLum5FkUvXAwQglmqe8mKxKbhzY_g4XSTu2ASZXiQ217V_GEdOezv6070SiK630vMX_Z9WmacLA/s1600-h/exploded.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKH4qA_Psg3dEp7-4xnXb8DOtLTPGg5Yrd1Qhrml-ZvEf0SZnpoJV7v0Y4MwUckBQQKLum5FkUvXAwQglmqe8mKxKbhzY_g4XSTu2ASZXiQ217V_GEdOezv6070SiK630vMX_Z9WmacLA/s400/exploded.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5224121568501504866" /></a><br /><br />List complete! Now, to go grocery shopping...Sylarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09837908664792644151noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-37726604821794808272008-07-16T23:13:00.005-05:002008-07-16T23:47:08.803-05:00The Koma Judges<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbwEvcPiiAV_xF27VvFhOpIWy_3DihrAoUrY6SvPFMfi04Mqf6wPm-_dJ3Sz8O1ivTU17s_uEh2metv8JnaHt9-oVn2gE7arD5IBX3SLM6cYrp-uzb-CnKlC8GbEh7MJWLj37U8XSDuLY/s1600-h/koma-profile.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbwEvcPiiAV_xF27VvFhOpIWy_3DihrAoUrY6SvPFMfi04Mqf6wPm-_dJ3Sz8O1ivTU17s_uEh2metv8JnaHt9-oVn2gE7arD5IBX3SLM6cYrp-uzb-CnKlC8GbEh7MJWLj37U8XSDuLY/s320/koma-profile.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223838571991436162" border="0" /></a>Ok I'm judging this round and as the judge I'm going to explain to you morons what I'm looking for this round.<br /><br />I want the funny and I want it to be quirky and unusual.<br /><br />And Funny Haha! not funny ewww!<br /><br />You've got a huge amount of possible pop culture references here to deal with.<br /><br />So lets start with some help for you, cause your gonna need it.<br /><br />Telmarines - The baddies from Prince Caspain. Funny helmets, back stabers, and of course there's Aslan. You have satyrs, fauns, centaurs, dwarves, talking animals. Oh and 4 young children from England.<br /><br />The Mummy Franchise goes Eastern with the terracotta warriors. Oh well you could get chow yun fat in it or brendan fraser somewhere along. Big huge destructive golems wreaking havoc on a huge scale. Yeah think big here.<br /><br />Iron Man - Anyone say Drunk and Disorderly womaniser. Also how do you get into the armor and does it come in one size fits all? Does it come in different colours?<br /><br />The Joker and Clayface - well if you can't find something here you don't deserve to win<br /><br />Will Smith - Hancock again if you don't get something here I will be ashamed. Big Willie Smith and Hancock. Get it!<br /><br />Cute little robots have there place and thats in the trash. Or being dishonest little bastards.<br /><br />This is a quest. So you've got things to do before you get to the main battle.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh14qChCUPYRWpj60LWd6MqVwv2ZjZON7HjM9t3WQ8o0gwfih04Eeu174VZNYYNZW6-AS3ztq5Q-bND_4OM7YvurZB0foYMtFeHoFKdQKqRWV0HJoJMb3xD8mSqdReRD07vN2JiwRhSbnU/s1600-h/Eddie-Judge.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh14qChCUPYRWpj60LWd6MqVwv2ZjZON7HjM9t3WQ8o0gwfih04Eeu174VZNYYNZW6-AS3ztq5Q-bND_4OM7YvurZB0foYMtFeHoFKdQKqRWV0HJoJMb3xD8mSqdReRD07vN2JiwRhSbnU/s320/Eddie-Judge.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223838702189934994" border="0" /></a>Do them ALL.<br /></div><br />Of course if you find a creative way to skip all of that or a nice narrative device to use here then you'll get bonus points.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVmuuxCoeYMqVKI_oQ4T3t8a-aTGawwG6wkZdeF39g-9vurFWnpG5-4X4UzK-oRF8JJtw2SEjqzcLISLLbeEDXx8lo2H8GDKZL9UWDxgdhH3JZqCfoMjZD-ocdtb0FsXsPPGDjprKU6xk/s1600-h/039_20026~Fantasy-Island-Posters.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVmuuxCoeYMqVKI_oQ4T3t8a-aTGawwG6wkZdeF39g-9vurFWnpG5-4X4UzK-oRF8JJtw2SEjqzcLISLLbeEDXx8lo2H8GDKZL9UWDxgdhH3JZqCfoMjZD-ocdtb0FsXsPPGDjprKU6xk/s320/039_20026~Fantasy-Island-Posters.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223839516548237922" border="0" /></a>Make me laugh and you will not loose.<br /></div>captain komahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13847486048090833167noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-13244016989153246632008-07-14T18:43:00.003-05:002008-07-15T12:45:04.569-05:00Challenge #9<div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;">The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be</span></div><br /><p></p><br /><p><a href="http://img376.imageshack.us/img376/7084/lgs3animzy3.gif"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://img376.imageshack.us/img376/7084/lgs3animzy3.gif" border="0" /></a></p><br /><br />We have another problem on Hacknor.<br /><br />Believe it... or not.<br /><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEPmGh2QvWChw7dyOEpJCwY_o9kj_MbYhd8kY_AbqYIfx2lmvee6_CtFxNDdxpQXaJhgZhDF4m0poBlIYaSQPZhEu1Wlyl6QuTON92Jk795kLyrJHUtFE5IztmDcZ8US0WSLFuQxa3K_U/s1600-h/Telmarine-army.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223019262385627810" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEPmGh2QvWChw7dyOEpJCwY_o9kj_MbYhd8kY_AbqYIfx2lmvee6_CtFxNDdxpQXaJhgZhDF4m0poBlIYaSQPZhEu1Wlyl6QuTON92Jk795kLyrJHUtFE5IztmDcZ8US0WSLFuQxa3K_U/s320/Telmarine-army.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />It appears that the Telmarines are at it again. They're smashing up half the islands in the Great Forest Island Chain. In fact, they're making such a mess of things that the Golden Army has awakened and is fighting back.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMnSKz-wBlSsjiB1KdOpBNJG_FAL12akbvCV_CUE_en_TzG3nXLVrYwAUv77USUpw7tzpd3Ad5zDWbo8po1NyocZWuiehCScrfVgA6dXz1gY_u12Y1Q5nLkZ-nPEOyhTPgCnItFSCxutc/s1600-h/golarmy.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223018947133108130" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMnSKz-wBlSsjiB1KdOpBNJG_FAL12akbvCV_CUE_en_TzG3nXLVrYwAUv77USUpw7tzpd3Ad5zDWbo8po1NyocZWuiehCScrfVgA6dXz1gY_u12Y1Q5nLkZ-nPEOyhTPgCnItFSCxutc/s320/golarmy.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />You need to stop this war by whatever abilities that you have: will you negotiate a truce between the two armies or will you stop them all yourself? Good question, but before you get to that, you'll need protection.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwER_71sAI9M1JcM8p6KXdYLUrZrTcDi9O4_KezE_YjHwP7xE4vUtZIyrZfHA4guXvK22Y1KTq5ZjcbwdPOEDx6v4cOkSrEo88jSvMLpmN9EQGg2OYzdKag_0VliYF69ewkCt_pNYDmWQ/s1600-h/iron-man-suit.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223018953494191810" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwER_71sAI9M1JcM8p6KXdYLUrZrTcDi9O4_KezE_YjHwP7xE4vUtZIyrZfHA4guXvK22Y1KTq5ZjcbwdPOEDx6v4cOkSrEo88jSvMLpmN9EQGg2OYzdKag_0VliYF69ewkCt_pNYDmWQ/s320/iron-man-suit.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />You must find the Mystic Iron Armor, but it will be difficult getting it as it is protected by the Brain and the Brawn.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixLq9VYFgcoJB3Cn8Z_cRNAl1vR9zXzHimRPUQa4K2Pbojy9Bc3NVVBStXN45AIHHkbxZmEQih8srYpOC3BvofEYbe_zm4C98rnQKBe8TQsH8N_eWXm33BQ2k4x2FDz_sAWlzl7O3UR_4/s1600-h/jokerbomination.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223018953245429138" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixLq9VYFgcoJB3Cn8Z_cRNAl1vR9zXzHimRPUQa4K2Pbojy9Bc3NVVBStXN45AIHHkbxZmEQih8srYpOC3BvofEYbe_zm4C98rnQKBe8TQsH8N_eWXm33BQ2k4x2FDz_sAWlzl7O3UR_4/s320/jokerbomination.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Legend has it that the drunken hero knows its location, so you'll need to consult him as well.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN9sPDk-uuL7HzFtl927YlAjhGUbDzrI-1mz9bv7R3djVmLwckEXPZiH9LeOJPwD8OFKZSD5ct_uP9Hzg0aT1uLenPpFRPaxnvru3L7MEC1zZs4yfYiWxdjB1gynItn79LVODlWnk_-zc/s1600-h/425_smith_hancock_082907.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223018947346187714" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN9sPDk-uuL7HzFtl927YlAjhGUbDzrI-1mz9bv7R3djVmLwckEXPZiH9LeOJPwD8OFKZSD5ct_uP9Hzg0aT1uLenPpFRPaxnvru3L7MEC1zZs4yfYiWxdjB1gynItn79LVODlWnk_-zc/s320/425_smith_hancock_082907.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Oh yeah, try to add a cute robot. Everyone likes cute robots, right?<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhihQ2E6HIizUzh4DJDre7Yx2hUpG-DjiHkmSjugOIC_DQZcFWEzTfb-7sGaKB5nsSW_Upzc7iNYYjsfe6AWa2yCzxc2GfASM3X7qVvWKT67MdukV7xSNG7_sfgLoIfqBzm_LpM2VIFx9Y/s1600-h/wall-e.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223019261182799010" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhihQ2E6HIizUzh4DJDre7Yx2hUpG-DjiHkmSjugOIC_DQZcFWEzTfb-7sGaKB5nsSW_Upzc7iNYYjsfe6AWa2yCzxc2GfASM3X7qVvWKT67MdukV7xSNG7_sfgLoIfqBzm_LpM2VIFx9Y/s320/wall-e.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Oh and there’s just one more thing – your special guest judge.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw1csw20OLjbxGjbKMKCgKPirCXhos5MaXXN77RaZz_5qi4MS4qVMhopk23oQJwQB8M4Qy4lxZZvXcLj5lpP8VWVYmb055On5h018Vyq6CgvfyZ26oQKOQL2X_7nD9B9vAwsE9fUhfHnzG/s320/koma.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: ;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw1csw20OLjbxGjbKMKCgKPirCXhos5MaXXN77RaZz_5qi4MS4qVMhopk23oQJwQB8M4Qy4lxZZvXcLj5lpP8VWVYmb055On5h018Vyq6CgvfyZ26oQKOQL2X_7nD9B9vAwsE9fUhfHnzG/s320/koma.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Captain Koma has agreed to judge this round. Our lawyers made him sign a waiver promising to be 100% fair and impartial in his decisions, you know one of those standard boilerplates that all intergalactic reality shows have. </p><p><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKxtmZ0Su8VkIJ89EbmHiUXg1Iyvy-CLlMilbma0UXSJ8E7bQHfZg-d86ttE0SI_2seZ4r-X-qPdEoYsyUVKW3jq9B_p34o5BSSjYkIZ3qtYFznsT3yVwqk3giPvl1iCBjU1yTlWemFr8/s1600-h/law.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223019264637950338" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKxtmZ0Su8VkIJ89EbmHiUXg1Iyvy-CLlMilbma0UXSJ8E7bQHfZg-d86ttE0SI_2seZ4r-X-qPdEoYsyUVKW3jq9B_p34o5BSSjYkIZ3qtYFznsT3yVwqk3giPvl1iCBjU1yTlWemFr8/s320/law.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><br />Good luck, gladiators.Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4775527000337516879.post-78678661677730444122008-07-14T16:57:00.003-05:002008-07-14T17:04:46.858-05:00Challenge 8, the vote<div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;">The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be</span></div><br /><p></p><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4if1ODSCNTTHflyVszbPNXTHxt6HsVVRzy2u27Cr3waVxDsqbpKLyX4wUBtASLgG91x_ketjEAfetoItNYCQAK0ZeyNcU_qBRvi3ERNry3xu1zl2JWK-rg-PdiNpJ1su3TsiG2NxLuk/s320/LGSIII.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4if1ODSCNTTHflyVszbPNXTHxt6HsVVRzy2u27Cr3waVxDsqbpKLyX4wUBtASLgG91x_ketjEAfetoItNYCQAK0ZeyNcU_qBRvi3ERNry3xu1zl2JWK-rg-PdiNpJ1su3TsiG2NxLuk/s320/LGSIII.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><br /><p></p><p>Well Gladiators, whose new gimmick is to leave the contest?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />When he heard the challenge, who said "Gimmick schmimmick?"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Well, not literally, but you know what I mean.<br /><br /><br /><br />Professor Xavier, you are not the Last Gladiator Standing, goodbye.<br /></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJbrfBBjO8cc3iiVt1YrGVNGEycbWTjB5W-a7BQoMoghyphenhyphenfUW8KEgEHR2HfDssL0prTt0QTQhcg20YvnRXviShqpmII8w7XRfplO5oy3zrKHDLG8oQtS6H3tcGnRPcmH_PFLwL_NX68_5aD/s200/xavier.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJbrfBBjO8cc3iiVt1YrGVNGEycbWTjB5W-a7BQoMoghyphenhyphenfUW8KEgEHR2HfDssL0prTt0QTQhcg20YvnRXviShqpmII8w7XRfplO5oy3zrKHDLG8oQtS6H3tcGnRPcmH_PFLwL_NX68_5aD/s200/xavier.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Well, some good will come of it, at least now you have the time to devote into running my presidential campaign right?<br /></p><p> </p><p><br />Stay tuned for the next challenge.<br /><br /><br /></p><div style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0em; PADDING-RIGHT: 5px; BORDER-TOP: 0em; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; BACKGROUND: url(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v701/Artiki/web_images/hinchey_nav2.gif) white; PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; MARGIN: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0em; COLOR: black; PADDING-TOP: 5px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0em">Last Gladiator Standing III was brought to you today by Acme Laser Bazookas.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh61Yv1dtJjrzid8H8mFqiDIw-ZeqEx5HSDgdZ5uRxXpEi9LN-EAPv4eqXfPkyJKgiihfG9DiU-8U3BXIJXChf20SSpxHjVo__4hDde6gDCpo_w0Fr50M_MJkVg_-smsuMt8C-XyqrG6Qa/s1600-h/196601.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5222992308327764162" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh61Yv1dtJjrzid8H8mFqiDIw-ZeqEx5HSDgdZ5uRxXpEi9LN-EAPv4eqXfPkyJKgiihfG9DiU-8U3BXIJXChf20SSpxHjVo__4hDde6gDCpo_w0Fr50M_MJkVg_-smsuMt8C-XyqrG6Qa/s400/196601.jpg" border="0" /></a>Acme Laser Bazookas, so simple even a child can operate one.<br /><br />Favored by Colonial Marines everywhere!<br /><br />Remember, when you purchase your laser bazooka, make sure it says Acme on the side!<br /></div><p></span></p>Jon the Intergalactic Gladiatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13758095794354686723noreply@blogger.com4