Showing posts with label Challenge #4. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Challenge #4. Show all posts

Monday, June 16, 2008

Challenge #4, the vote

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be






Gladiators, you all did real well on your no-win scenarios.






Well, almost all of you.




Who was just too lazy to get out of bed this morning?




Who says that he's all grown up and yet doesn't quite seem ready to run with the big dogs?




Hot Stuff, you are not the Last Gladiator Standing, goodbye.



Maybe he just came for the T-Shirt.



Stay tuned for the next challenge.





Last Gladiator Standing III was brought to you in part by Camp Intergalactic Gladiator.




This summer, send your kid to Camp Intergalactic Gladiator, they'll have the time of their lives. Guaranteed.


Friday, June 13, 2008

#4 -- Nepharia's Crack at Kobayashi Maru

I was given a rather new star ship called the USS Silicimilitus with a rather generic crew: I didn’t know anyone on board. But that may have been for the best.



We were going through our part of the galaxy, fighting off what looked like chocolate covered raisins. We managed to keep them at bay with our photon torpedoes, but there were just too many of the little buggers.

The engineer looked up from his console and exclaimed, “Captain, we’re all out of torpedoes!”

These small beings continued to approach the ship’s hull. In an attempt to keep them away from the ship, I ordered “Shields up!”

”Aye, Captain,” my tactical officer responded as he poured over his console.

But the raisins continue throwing themselves at our hull. They managed to cut through and into the engineering decks.

As air was sucked slowly into space, another larger raisin clogged the hole by throwing his body into the breach. The rest of the raisins started stoning the engineering crew unconscious and started after the engines.

Back on the bridge, my engineer realized we were in some serious trouble. He stood up straight from his engineering panel and faced me. “Captain, I’m sorry, but we have no choice, we must use them!”

I shook my head and rubbed my forehead. “Are you sure?” I asked. “It gives me a total headache – to say nothing of the paperwork.”

He shook his head apologetically. “It’s all we have left.”

”But they are only for desperate situations,” I said.

”I’d say this is pretty desperate, Captain,” he answered, pointing at all the warnings going off on our panels.

I sighed wearily in resignation. ”Ok, let’s do it,” I responded after a momentary pause. “Send in VanHalen.”



At this time, VanHalen was released from a secret compartment where they were kept for safe keeping. And not even doing a sound a check, they began rocking the engineering deck with the solo from Eruption.

It wasn’t three notes and the raisins began writhing in pain and in less than a minute, they began blowing up.

As the engineering crew began waking up to the sounds of Eddie’s solo, they found themselves covered in dead raisin goo. It was quite a task of cleaning Engineering and patching the hull. But they seemed not to mind with the rockin’ sounds of a VanHalen encore.

Later, on the bridge, while slogging through the associated “Emergency Rock Band Use Extension 5479(c)(1)” form, the command crew sat around with nothing to do.

But then, the communications officer lifted her head and piped up: “Captain, I’m receiving a message on the distress channel. “

”Put it on speakers, lieutenant.” I reply. A foreign voice crackled over the speakers:

“…Imperative!...This is the Kobayashi Maru, nineteen periods... out of Altair Six...We have struck...a gravitic mine...and have lost all power….Our hull is penetrated and we have sustained many casualties…”

The lieutenant responded, trying to hail them again. “This is This is the Starship Silicimilitus . Your message is breaking up. Can you give us your coordinates? Repeat. This is the Starship...”

“…Silicimilitus , our position is Gamma…Hydra, Section Ten...Hull...penetrated, life support... systems failing...Can you assist us...Silicimilitus?...Can you assist us?!

“Punch up data on the Kobayashi Maru,” I say.

“Subject vessel is a third class neutronic fuel carrier created for a fictional scenario within a Star Fleet Academy training exercise. No known vessel actually exists.”

“What?” I exclaim.

”It appears this may be a trap, Captain,” my science officer explained.

"Or a practical joke," I added.

Rubbing my chin, I look at the communication’s officer, ”Lieutenant, tell the ship that we are experiencing a power drop off and that we will get there as soon as we can,” I said. “Then we'll figure out what to do.”

******************

”Yes,” I said to my command officers, “I believe you are right.” I turned to face the screen, looking at Neutral Zone sitting before us. “And while I don’t really like using them, I must admit they are quite effective: put Van Halen on a shuttle and send them to the Kobayashi Maru.”

It was not very long and Eddie, David and the rest of the band members had been prepped, briefed and put on their way.

Some time later, we received a hail from some incoming ships.

”It’s four galaxy class cruisers: Enterprise, Glamdring, Essex and Falcon,” she answered.

I looked at her strangely then to rest of the command officers. “I thought we were the only ship in this sector? That’s what they said, right?”

”Yes, Captain,” my science officer responded. “But I think they secretly sent us with some backup just in case we got into some trouble.”

I just nodded and smiled out of one corner of my mouth. “Yeah, I’m definitely going to get into some trouble,” I said under my breath. “Put them on the screen, Lieutenant. “

On the screen came the pleasant face of Jean-Luc Picard, “Captain…er…Nepharia, we are here to render whatever aid you might need,” he said.

”Hi Jean-Luc,” I responded, smiling equally as pleasant. “How nice to see you again. Drew short straws for babysitting duty, did you?”

”Ah, well,” he stammered, “truth be told, I volunteered.”

I did not conceal my pleasant surprise at his admission. “Really now? Why is that?” I said, still smiling.

”To be honest, Nepharia,” he answered, “I knew you’d be spoiling for a fight and would probably be more than happy to go looking for one.”

”Aw, Jean-Luc,” I chided, “I didn’t know you cared.”

”I know you can handle yourself, Nepharia,” he explained, “But your crew may be less responsive than others you are accustomed to.”

I smiled again and was about to say something, when I was interrupted by my communications officers. I noticed that Data also interrupted Jean-Luc with news about an incoming hail.

I turned to the Lieutenant in question. “Captain, we are receiving an incoming transmission from the Kobayashi Maru.”

”On screen,” I answered, wondering what it could be. The pleasant face of Jean-Luc was replaced by an astonishing scene.

”Good heavens, Nepharia,” Jean-Luc said over the speakers, “What in Neptune is that?”

I offered a wide smile. “That would be Van Halen,” I answered.

”Oh, no,” he replied, disappointed. “You honestly didn’t use them, did you? You’ll be buried in paperwork for weeks!” he said.

”Absolutely,” I said, “And they’ve whipped those Klingon’s into a frenzy. I’d say it’s time to go in, beam the band out, and start kicking some Klingon ass.”

”Nepharia….” Jean-Luc began, but was interrupted by Worf.

”Nepharia,” the Klingon warrior said, “If a Klingon sought to bait you into a fight with the Kobayashi Maru trick, then you owe it to him to kick his ass.”

I looked at Captain Picard, who sighed in resignation. “What are your orders, Captain?”

”Follow me,” I said.

It was a blood bath. And a good day for Klingons to die. I bet they don’t try that again for a while.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Ciera's Kobayashi Maru

I’ve just barely tumbled out of my bed and can’t believe the latest challenge that Jon has laid before us…captaining a starship along the Neutral Zone and oh wait, there just happens to be a freighter named the Kobayashi Maru. I did this once already! In the Academy…I didn’t do all that great…everybody died. Including the Klingons!

Of course, that was just a ship prop and computer animation…and I’m pretty sure there were some smoke and mirrors too.

And once the Admiral gave the order, all the dead people hopped back up to life.

Somehow I think that this is going to be little more real. I can already smell Klingons.

I look to Kirk, who’s adorable with his still rumpled hair. “Slip on your space duds… we’re beaming outa here.”

“Oh yeah? What’s this weeks challenge?” he asks.

I tell him, “I have to captain a starship along the Neutral Zone and rescue the Kobayashi Maru. And pray that the Klingons are in a good mood.”

“I thought we were at peace with the Klingons.”

“It depends on which time frame we’re in,” I explain.

“Didn’t you fail that in the Academy?”

I scowl. Loudly. “It is not a pass/fail test.”

“Right. Sore subject.” Kirk kisses my cheek in a blatant attempt to distract me. “So, what do you want to do?”

“Well, I guess the starship is supplied. I just have to beam up, get us out of Spacedock without taking out any doors and patrol the Neutral Zone until the Kobayashi Maru hollers for help.”

“Sounds simple enough.”

“It’s never simple.”

“What do you want me to do?”

I pause. It would be great to have him along as my first officer. But if things go sour, I wouldn’t want to lose him. Of course, if things go sour, I probably won’t survive either. Unless I have him follow me in my ship and have him beam me out in the nick of time. But that feels like cheating. “What do you want to do?”

He looks at me like I ought to know. “Like I’d let you go off and get yourself killed? I’m coming with you.”

I smile. “Let’s get dressed then, we have an hour to report for duty.”

*********************************

Kirk and I beam aboard a standard Constitution-class Starship. The most rigid and starched starship ever made. The captain’s chairs were always so stiff. The young transporter technician greets me.

“Welcome aboard Captain!” Traditionally, the commander of the vessel is addressed as ‘captain’ regardless of their actual rank.

I’m willing to bet that everyone on this ship are young, probably inexperienced as well. “Thank you Ensign. I’m Ciera, and this is my first officer Kirk.”

“Any relation to James Kirk?” she asks me, her eyes glazing over.

“No!” Kirk replies sharply. Anyone who was at Captain Picard's last Christmas party knows that this is his sore subject!

I try not to giggle. “Ensign…?”

“McGivers, ma’am.”

“Ensign McGivers, please lead us to the bridge.”

She led us to the bridge, chattering on about how this was her first post on a starship and how glad she was.

Once on the bridge, I head for the captain’s chair and survey my crew. Yep…all young. I take a quick poll to find out names and then give the order to leave Spacedock…at impulse speed. There were quite a few twitters about this…and a couple of warning klaxons went off…but just like I’d always heard, the doors really did open in time!

“Set course for the Neutral Zone,” I command. “Routine patrol route.”

“Yes ma’am.”

That ma’am thing is going to get old really fast. I’m not that much older than them!

We patrol the Zone; all the while I keep expecting that call from the Kobayashi Maru. Part of me knows that this is probably just a simulation…but that part has a hard time convincing the rest of me to relax.

“Captain, we’re receiving a distress call. Audio only,” says the young man at the communications station. I think he had said his name was Fred.

“Play it,” I reply.

Over the speakers comes the thin voice from my memory. “This is the Kobayashi Maru…we have struck a gravitational mine and are in need of assistance…” There was a muffled explosion. “We are losing life support and hull integrity…please help…”

“Location?” I inquire. My hands flipped open the control pad on the captain’s chair. I accessed computer memory. The Kobayashi Maru registered as a fuel freighter.

“It is deep within the Neutral Zone,” said the woman at my right, Patricia.

“Captain, preliminary scans show that the Maru is carrying 300 persons.”

“Captain,” came Fred at communications. “Their signal is growing weaker.”

“I bet it is.” I stand and walk to the two seated in front of me. “Scan for neutrino surges.”

“Ma’am?”

“I’m about ready to order us into the Zone, but first I’d like to know if there are any Klingon’s about.”

“Captain, might I remind you that to enter the Neutral Zone would be considered an act of war?” inquired the Vulcan at the science station. Were all science officers Vulcan?

“Noted.” I waited for the red-shirts in front of me to scan the surrounding space.

“Ciera,” Kirk said. “According to the computer, the Maru has been lost in space for three years.”

“Interesting.” I lean over Patricia’s shoulder. There really was a ship out there, ready to fall apart…it wasn’t a hologram. But it might be a trap. And there were no neutrino surges. Yet. “Ok kids, we’re probably walking into a trap, but we can’t overlook the possibility that the Klingons are using the crew of the Maru so we’re going to go in there, get as close as we can and beam them out.”

“If they’re real?” inquired Kirk.

“We can hope.” I resume my seat. “Set course for the Maru, warp one, shields on full.”

My orders were carried out in silence.

From my seat, I opened a channel in the ship. “Transporter room. Stand by to beam aboard survivors from a damaged ship.” I rattle of the coordinates. I switch lines to sickbay. “Medical, prepare for casualties. Transporter room one.”

We had barely entered into the Neutral Zone when Patricia cried out, “Ma’am! I can’t find the Maru anymore! It disappeared off our sensors!”

“Stay our course,” I order. I saw those sensors read outs myself…I knew there was a ship out there. “Any chance it exploded, or tore itself apart?”

“No ma’am. It just…ma’am! Three Klingon battleships just decloaked!”

“Surprise, surprise. Onscreen.”



“Open a channel to them, maintain course and speed.” I open an intraship channel myself. “Transporter room, as soon as you have a lock on anything human, beam them aboard and notify me.” I tense in my seat. We’re outgunned and on the wrong side of the Zone, but I can’t leave until I know whether the crew of the Maru is still alive. I get the nod from Fred at communications that I have an open channel. “Klingon vessels, this is the U.S.S. Vengeance…we are on a mercy mission to rescue…”

They open fire one us.

“I don’t think they like us,” remarked Kirk.

“No kidding. Fire phasers.” My hands grip the armrests of my chair. It does little good. The Klingons continue to fire at us, causing the ship to rock. “Drop to impulse. Keep firing those phasers. Klingon vessels, I insist that you give way and allow us to help the crew of the damaged vessel you are blocking from us! We are on a mission of mercy!”



“Captain, shields are down fifty percent.”

“Engineering, we need more power.”

“I’m giving you all I’ve got.” came the reply. Were all engineers Scotsmen?

“Give me more! Patricia, how close are we to the last coordinates of the Maru?”

“We ought to be on top of them ma’am.”

“Transporter room, any life signs?” I ask. We’re taking a pounding, we won’t last much longer.

“Very faint, ma’am,” comes the reply.

“Are you able to beam them away?”

“Working on it ma’am.”

I’ve had enough. “What I wouldn’t give for a Galaxy-class vessel,” I say to Kirk. “I’d be able to separate the saucer section and have go at them with the battle section.”

“Maybe next time,” Kirk replies.

There is an explosion on the bridge that takes out Patricia and fella at Helm. I forgot his name; I think it was unpronounceable anyway. I motion to Kirk and he and I fill the positions. “Klingon vessels, I repeat…we’re on a mission of mercy. Have you no honor? Would you truly destroy a vessel for glory tainted by the blood of innocents? Your Klingon bards will sing of me instead…they will tell the tale of the valiant captain who fought against all odds to rescue the crew of a dying ship that has been lost in space. They will tell my tale and they will revile you as worthless pataQ’s.”

The firing ceases, just as another explosion rocks the ship.

“Captain, this is the transporter room. We have five survivors from the Kobayashi Maru…the ship broke up before we could get the rest.”

“Kirk, turn this ship around. Fred, are they talking to us yet?”

“Negative Captain, but there is a lot of chatter in-between their ships,” answered Fred.

“They’re probably wondering how you know about their Klingon bards,” chuckled Kirk as he turned the ship back across the Neutral Zone.

I shrugged. “I read a book once.”

Suddenly Klingon laughter filled the room.

“Fred?”

“Uh, yeah…they’re talking to us now.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“Well fought, Vengeance…our Bards will indeed sing of you. Brave captain! Until next time!” More Klingon laughter.

“Good,” I call after them, hoping they’re still receiving. “Just get my name right. It’s Ciera, of the U.S.S. Vengeance and her first officer Kirk!”

The three ships head off in the other direction, their Klingon laughter echoing over the speakers again.

“Was it something I said?”

Kirk laughed at me.

Well, that went well.

The lights go dim for a moment, and then clear, revealing the yellow grid of a holodeck. Kirk and I are the only ones left. The doors open and Jon walks in.

“Not bad,” he says, tapping his pen on his clipboard. “Rescued some of the miners, lost your shields, blew your life support, tore up the bridge a little, a couple of fired, one ruptured hull, half your crew injured or dead…Better than your Academy days I imagine.”

“Uhm, yeah.”

“Come on, Captain…” Kirk says, wrapping his arm around me. “You look like you need a shower and a hot chocolate.”

I let him lead me away, satisfied that the mission went well…or at least better than last time.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Challenge #4

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be






OK, Gladiators, it’s been a tough couple of weeks here but don’t worry, this next challenge will be easy. Each of you will get the chance to captain a starship. No problem right? Just ease that thing out of Spacedock and head off to patrol the Nuetral Zone area. No problem.

Oh yes, except there is this one tiny little thing: the Kobayashi Maru.

The Kobayashi Maru is a tiny freighter that somehow got off course and damaged in the Neutral Zone. It’s sending out a distress signal even as we speak. Head on out there and do what you can.

Don’t worry about who’s on the other side of the Neutral Zone, they’re probably not watching or listening to what’s going on over here. Everything will be just fine. Have fun, it’s just a simple rescue op.

Oh yeah, and add to the fun, guess who showed up to judge the challenge? None other than Simon himself. Yep, he’s taking a little break from tickling Clay Aiken’s feet with a peacock feather on his palatial estate to lend a hand.




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